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CatholicsAreKewl

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I once bought a blow up raft at Wal-Mart so I could go tubing with my friends.  I met this cool girl who was going down the river with me.  Until my raft deflated, that is.  She laughed as she floated away and I was stuck bobbing in the water.  Sure was embarrassing, I tell you what.  

Edited by Hasan
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Reminds me. You're going to find married life quite busy. You might not always have time to read a novel. A short story now and then is okay, but don't entirely give up on longer works.

 

 

That's some good advice.  I'll remember that if I ever get married.  

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I once bought a blow up raft at Wal-Mart so I could go tubing with my friends.  I met this cool girl who was going down the river with me.  Until my raft deflated, that is.  She laughed as she floated away and I was stuck bobbing in the water.  Sure was embarrassing, I tell you what.  

It happens, sometimes. Not to me. But to lots of other people. You just have to reinflate and get back in the water.

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I was once told by an old First Sergeant to never get married until I was 30.  He said that a man is like a grey hound and needs to run free for a while.  You're not 30 but you do have a laser.  And that means something, dammit.  

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Should the good Arfink or Ploomf desire a split of the offtopic posts from their thread into a new one, please feel free to ask and I shall fulfill your wish in the morning.  For the moment it seems you two aren't online, and I'm gonna try to actually sleep before class tomorrow.  Congratulations again though! :)

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It happens, sometimes. Not to me. But to lots of other people. You just have to reinflate and get back in the water.

 

 

That's what everybody tell me.  But now whenever I go tubing and I think I've met some cool girl who is also tubing I just get really sweaty and nervous.  And then the crying starts.  

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Having your inflatable doll deflate on you when you rafting is usually embarrassing. Try shopping at Target instead of Wal-Mart for better quality. And remember, even when you try to take her in the water, she doesn't qualify you for a car pool lane.

Edited by Light and Truth
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That's what everybody tell me.  But now whenever I go tubing and I think I've met some cool girl who is also tubing I just get really sweaty and nervous.  And then the crying starts.  

You need a good tubing partner. Someone you trust. Mention your previous incident. Maybe a professional tuber could help, or a tubing consultant.

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Yeah, this is kind of a 'Yale thread.'  

 

 

"The fact of Yale's suckiness is one of life's truisms. As Heinrich von Algorithm (Harvard '52) demonstrated in his famous mathematical proof, "A = B; therefore, Yale = sucky." Just as the earth revolves around the sun, and e = mc2, Yale sucks. We Harvardians hold these truths to be self-evident. But for you misguided Yalies who may still have doubts, here's a quick refresher course.

 

Yale was founded many years ago as a safety school for Harvard. "Not everyone is smart enough to attend Harvard," said founder Eli Yale. This was also the first motto of Yale University. From its inception, Yale's purpose has been to make Harvard look better. Logic dictates that Harvard can't be "the best" unless there exist other schools which are "not the best." Only in the light of a second-rate institution can Harvard display its full glory.

 

Having lived in New Haven for my entire life, I can assert with unprecedented confidence that Yale does indeed suck. Forget about Harvard's greater selectivity, matriculation rate, and prestige--even without these things I'd still want to get away from New Haven, that crime-filled wasteland where I was mugged just two summers ago.

 

Imagine the life of a Yale freshman. You've already got an inferiority complex after being rejected from Harvard. This is made worse by the fact that your new home looks like a Gothic dungeon, your classmates are all artsy-fartsy freaks, and there's nothing to do in New Haven to escape from it all. Transferring to Harvard (or anywhere else) could be the only escape from a life of mediocrity; unfortunately, Harvard's admissions officers have what we call "standards."

 

The Yale/Harvard dichotomy can best be described in biblical terms. Leviticus 13:44 prophesied the first Yale student: "He is a leprous man, he is unclean: the priest shall pronounce him unclean...his clothes shall be rent, and his head bare, and he shall put a covering upon his upper lip, and shall cry `Unclean! Unclean!'" By contrast, God said unto John Harvard, "And I will make thee exceedingly fruitful, and I will make nations of thee, and kings shall come out of thee." (Genesis 17:6)

If this line of reasoning is beyond the mental capacity of some Yale students or faculty, let us put it in terms that are understandable even to small children. Any child could tell you that Yale rhymes with "jail," "fail," and "Quayle." Coincidence? I think not."

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

more:

 

http://www.yaleherald.com/archive/xxvi/11.19.98/game/yeahright.html

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"The fact of Yale's suckiness is one of life's truisms. As Heinrich von Algorithm (Harvard '52) demonstrated in his famous mathematical proof, "A = B; therefore, Yale = sucky." Just as the earth revolves around the sun, and e = mc2, Yale smells of elderberries. We Harvardians hold these truths to be self-evident. But for you misguided Yalies who may still have doubts, here's a quick refresher course.

 

Yale was founded many years ago as a safety school for Harvard. "Not everyone is smart enough to attend Harvard," said founder Eli Yale. This was also the first motto of Yale University. From its inception, Yale's purpose has been to make Harvard look better. Logic dictates that Harvard can't be "the best" unless there exist other schools which are "not the best." Only in the light of a second-rate institution can Harvard display its full glory.

 

Having lived in New Haven for my entire life, I can assert with unprecedented confidence that Yale does indeed smell of elderberries. Forget about Harvard's greater selectivity, matriculation rate, and prestige--even without these things I'd still want to get away from New Haven, that crime-filled wasteland where I was mugged just two summers ago.

 

Imagine the life of a Yale freshman. You've already got an inferiority complex after being rejected from Harvard. This is made worse by the fact that your new home looks like a Gothic dungeon, your classmates are all artsy-fartsy freaks, and there's nothing to do in New Haven to escape from it all. Transferring to Harvard (or anywhere else) could be the only escape from a life of mediocrity; unfortunately, Harvard's admissions officers have what we call "standards."

 

The Yale/Harvard dichotomy can best be described in biblical terms. Leviticus 13:44 prophesied the first Yale student: "He is a leprous man, he is unclean: the priest shall pronounce him unclean...his clothes shall be rent, and his head bare, and he shall put a covering upon his upper lip, and shall cry `Unclean! Unclean!'" By contrast, God said unto John Harvard, "And I will make thee exceedingly fruitful, and I will make nations of thee, and kings shall come out of thee." (Genesis 17:6)

If this line of reasoning is beyond the mental capacity of some Yale students or faculty, let us put it in terms that are understandable even to small children. Any child could tell you that Yale rhymes with "jail," "fail," and "Quayle." Coincidence? I think not."

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

more:

 

http://www.yaleherald.com/archive/xxvi/11.19.98/game/yeahright.html

 

 

 

That's kind of snotty.  There's nothing wrong with going to Yale.  Being a butler is honest work.  

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"The fact of Yale's suckiness is one of life's truisms. As Heinrich von Algorithm (Harvard '52) demonstrated in his famous mathematical proof, "A = B; therefore, Yale = sucky." Just as the earth revolves around the sun, and e = mc2, Yale smells of elderberries. We Harvardians hold these truths to be self-evident. But for you misguided Yalies who may still have doubts, here's a quick refresher course.

 

Yale was founded many years ago as a safety school for Harvard. "Not everyone is smart enough to attend Harvard," said founder Eli Yale. This was also the first motto of Yale University. From its inception, Yale's purpose has been to make Harvard look better. Logic dictates that Harvard can't be "the best" unless there exist other schools which are "not the best." Only in the light of a second-rate institution can Harvard display its full glory.

 

Having lived in New Haven for my entire life, I can assert with unprecedented confidence that Yale does indeed smell of elderberries. Forget about Harvard's greater selectivity, matriculation rate, and prestige--even without these things I'd still want to get away from New Haven, that crime-filled wasteland where I was mugged just two summers ago.

 

Imagine the life of a Yale freshman. You've already got an inferiority complex after being rejected from Harvard. This is made worse by the fact that your new home looks like a Gothic dungeon, your classmates are all artsy-fartsy freaks, and there's nothing to do in New Haven to escape from it all. Transferring to Harvard (or anywhere else) could be the only escape from a life of mediocrity; unfortunately, Harvard's admissions officers have what we call "standards."

 

The Yale/Harvard dichotomy can best be described in biblical terms. Leviticus 13:44 prophesied the first Yale student: "He is a leprous man, he is unclean: the priest shall pronounce him unclean...his clothes shall be rent, and his head bare, and he shall put a covering upon his upper lip, and shall cry `Unclean! Unclean!'" By contrast, God said unto John Harvard, "And I will make thee exceedingly fruitful, and I will make nations of thee, and kings shall come out of thee." (Genesis 17:6)

If this line of reasoning is beyond the mental capacity of some Yale students or faculty, let us put it in terms that are understandable even to small children. Any child could tell you that Yale rhymes with "jail," "fail," and "Quayle." Coincidence? I think not."

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

more:

 

http://www.yaleherald.com/archive/xxvi/11.19.98/game/yeahright.html

This strikes me as off topic. You're ruining a beautiful moment, here.

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Once you two get married I'll be able to make a bunch of bad jokes predicated on me pretending to not know that you two are even a couple.  Jajajajaja.  

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