Habitual Mortal Sin And Discernment

[The Bus Station]

Peace be with you!

 

I am trying to discern a vocation to the religious life, but I am struggling with sins of impurity.  As some of you may have experienced, it is very difficult to progress in the spiritual life while dealing with grave sin.  I want to start visiting religious communities soon, but I do not think I would be ready to enter the religious life until I am consistently overcoming temptations of the flesh.  I trust in God's mercy and I frequent the sacraments of reconciliation and the Eucharist, and thus I trust that I will overcome this sin with God's help, but it is currently a struggle.

 

Basically, I am wondering if visiting religious communities would be fruitful at this stage in my spiritual life.  I am attracted to the life and I very much want to start experiencing different communities, but I would not want do so prematurely.  I appreciate your thoughts and advice, thank you.

[Gabriela]

Sounds like a job for a Spiritual Director. Are there any in your area? Good priests you trust and who have time? Sisters at local houses?

[The Bus Station]

Indeed, perhaps this is too personal an issue for "general" advice.  I am currently trying to decide on a spiritual director but yes I have narrowed it down to a few priests.  Thanks for the reply.

[arfink]

I understand that habitual sexual sin makes discernment somewhat more difficult, but then, so does any sin at all. You'll need a spiritual director regardless, so do look for one.

 

However, I can safely say from my own experience that it is possible to discern well even while you struggle with a habitual sin. Everybody has habitual sins, you'll wind up having to discern through them in any case. The trick isn't to conquer it first, because that will result in you never actually doing any discerning, but instead to be making some forward progress on it while you discern. If you are moving from bad to good, or moving from good to better, you are in a good place to discern God's will for you. (FYI, I shamelessly stole that from St. Ignatious.)

[Fr. Antony Maria OSB]

One of the sayings of the Desert Fathers deals with this issue, but I can't seem to find it anywhere. The basic premise, however, is that a brother went to one of the abbas and told him that he was struggling with lust. The abba then proceeded to berate this brother, to the point that when the brother left, he was more depressed than before, and decided to leave the desert and return to life in the world. As he was leaving, he happened to pass another abba, who noticed that he was troubled. This abba asked him what was wrong, and after being insistent, the brother told him everything. The abba then proceeded to console him, encouraging him to remain in the desert and continue to fight against the spirit of lust. The second abba then went to the first abba and berated him for his lack of mercy.

 

The basic understanding that I'm trying to convey with this saying comes across, as well, in one of the sayings I was able to find. "One of the brethren had sinned, and the priest told him to leave the community. So then Abbot Bessarion got up and walked out with him, saying: I too am a sinner!"

 

You don't enter religious life perfect: religious life is a place wherein we are able to work towards perfection through and by the grace of God. In St. Benedict's words, the monastery (or religious house) is a "school of the Lord's service." It is within this school that we learn how to be true disciples of Christ. 

 

Now, a lot of this does depend on what kind of sin you're talking about here (and it's not something I would post on a public forum), but I wouldn't say that because you're struggling with this kind of sin visiting religious communities wouldn't be beneficial. As curiosing said, this is something that could be very beneficial to discuss with a spiritual director/vocational director of a community. Based on what you've said here, though, I wouldn't rule out visiting communities. If you have any questions, feel free to message me. 

 

God bless!

Br. Antony

[AccountDeleted]

I understand that habitual sexual sin makes discernment somewhat more difficult, but then, so does any sin at all. You'll need a spiritual director regardless, so do look for one.

 

However, I can safely say from my own experience that it is possible to discern well even while you struggle with a habitual sin. Everybody has habitual sins, you'll wind up having to discern through them in any case. The trick isn't to conquer it first, because that will result in you never actually doing any discerning, but instead to be making some forward progress on it while you discern. If you are moving from bad to good, or moving from good to better, you are in a good place to discern God's will for you. (FYI, I shamelessly stole that from St. Ignatious.)

 

 

I don't disagree with your advice here arfink but I do disagree that 'everybody has habitual sins', especially if we are talking about mortal sins. Everybody sins and most people probably have some habitual venial sins but I certainly don't concede that everybody has habitual mortal sins.

 

From the OP it sounds like we might be referring to an habitual mortal sin here, which is a pretty serious thing if someone wants to enter religious life - not impossible by any means, and not a bar to discernment, but certainly something which it would be good to conquer prior to entering a religious community, where Mass is usually celebrated every day but Confession is usually only every 2-3 weeks. Not receiving Communion is always an option of course, but perhaps the addiction should be broken before actually entering?

 

So, yes, a good SD and a good Confessor are needed and discernment is possible, but coming to grips with the problem before entering is my advice.

[Catherine Therese]

As far as deciding how to proceed with discernment, I agree with the advice to get spiritual direction and it sounds like you're moving on that, which is great.

 

But whatever you do... and this is really important....

 

GIVE THANKS!! 

 

This desire in you to break out of this habit is a gift from the Lord! 
And it really honestly is the beginning of the end of your enslavement. 

 

Habitual sin is a prison. It is often a prison of our own making, but once built, we cannot free ourselves. So please, don't berate yourself for not having beat this thing yet. Of your own power, you can't! But the Lord CAN, and if He's put this desire upon your heart, you can almost be certain that the very existence of this longing to be free is an announcement of His intention to free you, if you continue to turn back to Him each time you fall, and to keep fighting for purity with all that is in you. 

 

Surely the same God who freed Israel from Egypt can free you from this habitual sin. 

Surely the same God who made the world anew after the great flood can do the same with your heart, restoring a certain innocence to you and giving you peace. 

 

Keep offering yourself to the Lord in all humility. Keep giving thanks for you know He is accompanying you in this. Hope in Him... Jn 16:33 - "Take courage, I have overcome the world!" And know of my sincere and heartfelt prayers for you.

Edited October 9, 2013 by Catherine Therese

[NotreDame]

These are all really good answers.  It's always nice to see people so supportive and it makes me wish I would have found this board earlier in life.  You yourself should also be commended for asking the question and your desire to move forward. 

 

I think for the part of your question that is "should I be visiting communities", I think, yes, you certainly could.  These are a helpful, practical way of understanding the choice and learning more about vocations and discernment.  There's really nothing you have to lose if they don't conflict with work/school.   They can also be very good retreats in their own right. 

 

Making your spiritual life a priority - regardless of your potential vocation or state of life - is also very important and it's sometimes what is required in overcoming bad habits.  Often these situations aren't only a matter of the will or discipline.  They require some real change to further a conversion of the heart, allowing you to be open to God's peace in certain areas where you've been wounded, and with that peace more trusting in Him and more resistant to temptation.  

 

Going on retreats could be good way towards this and, as mentioned above, just staying at a religous house for a few days can be a great retreat, regardless if you are there to "discern" or not.  It's a good way to prioritize your time and do a lot of spiritual inventory. 

 

In terms of discernment, you should know that traditionally many religious communities used to ask that people be free from mortal sin for two years before entering.  A few places and spiritual directors still hold to that (yes really, I've met them.)  My opinion on this doesn't matter (but giving it anyway) I think times have changed and the environment we grow up in has changed, so I'm not sure it is apples to apples and I don't think the 2-year rule is very conducive to healthy discernment.  I'm just throwing this out there so you know about it in case you hear it.  More than likely the majority or the entirety of the groups and directors you speak with won't hold to this at all.  If they do, know that's their opinion and nothing more and move on.  

 

Also on discernment, Arfink mentioned St Ignatius and that's who immediately sprung to mind for me as well.  I was under the impression that when "one is going from mortal sin to mortal sin" that Igantius is teaching one can't properly discern spirits.   I'm not sure why that's in my head and I could be wrong - others please comment.

 

If I was in your shoes I'd go about life making practical decisions under the assumption you don't have a religious/priestly vocation but I would definitely have a real sense of urgency about making the necessary changes in your life to overcome this.  The nice thing is that the path going forward for both looks very similar in terms of getting a spiritual director, prioritizing your spiritual life in all your choices, going on retreats, spiritual reading, etc.

 

If any other commenters disagree with what I've written then I'd tend to side with them.  God Bless.  

 

Edited October 9, 2013 by NotreDame

[VeniJesuAmorMi]

I pray that you will be able to find a spiritual director/priest that will be the one for you to help guide you in the right direction. Be assured of my prayers for you also!

 

When I first read your post my first instinct was to pray to our Blessed Mother for you. I would hope so much that you have constant recourse to Her, especially during times of temptations. I go to our dear Mother for everything, and She brings us closer to Jesus. You mentioned that you frequent the sacraments of confession and Holy Communion and I hope you continue to do so perseveringly. :) .... Do you pray the Holy Rosary everyday? Even if you couldn't find time to pray the whole Rosary at once, you could pray a decade throughout the day. Also Hail Mary's and the Litany of Loreto (also known as the Litany of the Blessed Virgin Mary.) You could also consider making a total consecration to Jesus through Mary if you haven't done so already, and if you have you could pray your consecration prayer everyday. You may be doing all this already, and She will be your help and protection and She loves you so much. Entrust your vocation to Her as well; entrust everything to Her. It pleases Jesus so much when we go to His Mother and at the same time She is bringing us closer to Him. May She keep you safe under Her Mantle. 

 

God bless!

[Mary+Immaculate<3]

Praying the Rosary, spiritual exercises of St. Ignatius (meditation), daily examination of conscience, recitation of the Jesus Prayer, invocation of St. Michael. 

Wear a Brown Scapular, Miraculous Medal, St. Benedict medal, and crucifix.

Do whatever it takes.

[CountrySteve21]

I highly recommend the  Brown Scapular! Since being enrolled, I haven't committed a mortal sin, Our Lady is so good to her children! Trust her, you will conquer your sin. 

 

Also, the St. Benedict medal! http://www.ewtn.com/library/mary/cspbmedl.htm

 

God bless! 

Edited October 9, 2013 by CountrySteve21

[Aya Sophia]

In case there may be some psychoemotional underpinnings to the habitual sin, what about, in addition to all the spiritual measures recommended above, finding a good psychotherapist - Catholic or with formation enabling him/her to be supportive of and to work fruitfully with your faith life? Or, SD could be one with psych training/background?