Do People Ever Get Married In Convent Chapels?

[Kateri89]

For instance, how completely awesome would it be to get married at the Nashies motherhouse chapel with all the Sisters singing the wedding songs?  Plus it would be a nice long aisle to walk down.  I just randomly though of this question and if I ever discern that I'm not called to religious life, that's what I'd wanna do   :like3:

[ToJesusMyHeart]

I doubt it, but I don't know. It certainly would be razzle dazzle!

[AccountDeleted]

I have known of one man who got baptized at a Carmelite convent chapel but he was a friend of the sisters. I haven't heard of anyone marrying in a religious community chapel but I imagine it could be possible.

[truthfinder]

I'd never say never, but because most convent chapels are not one's parish church per se, it would definitely be out of the ordinary.  

[Kateri89]

Well let's say for example that someone had been in a community and then discerned out.  Several years later she is engaged to be married and thinks it would be wonderful to get married in the chapel of her former convent. She knows the Sisters very well and it would be a familiar environment.  It would definitely be weird and may never happen but still, its something to think about...

[AccountDeleted]

I think that if one had maintained a close relationship with the community, and they had a large enough chapel, it would be possible. Some communities actually have quite a regular congregation who attend Mass at their chapel. They are not considered a parish of course, and the congregation usually have an affiliation with their own parish as well. At one Carmel in England, we would get parish envelopes in the collection plate, and these would not be kept by the community but passed onto the parish. The parish would send the community a stack of parish bulletins every week and these would be put on a table at the entrance for anyone attending Mass. So there was a close relationship between the parish and the religious community. I think a wedding would be unusual but not necessarily impossible.

[AnneLine]

I know of a few cases where it has happened.... I think you have to get permission from the Bishop as well as the Community (obviously).  I think sometimes it is done for major benefactors OR for family members of the sisters.  Or you could take the route I took... and go visit the nuns in the wedding finery.... ;)

[Chiquitunga]

This reminds me of ... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CPkjTGsYvGQ&feature=player_detailpage#t=1808  :heart:

 

She (St. Teresa of the Andes' sister Lucia) didn't get married in that chapel, but there was a custom to go there, where she was a student, after the wedding to leave flowers before a statue of Our Lady (the Mater Admirabilis here) I wonder if this was something unique to the Society of the Sacred Heart... It's really beautiful!

Edited October 6, 2013 by Chiquitunga

[AnneLine]

Mr. AnneLine and I knew the Carmelite nuns, and did so at their request.   They were as excited to see us married as we were to be married!

 

As far as leaving a bouquet before our Lady... I don't know if it is done in many cultures, but the bride leaving flowers before Our Lady is an old custom within the Spanish-speaking community. 

 

Just so you will know that I have ALWAYS been a bit of a llama.... stubborn and very determined....

 

I wanted to give Our Lady a bouquet at my own wedding, and was informed very curtly by the Parish Liturgy Police (!) that I could NOT do so because, 'leaving flowers in front of Our Lady is NOT part of your tradition--YOU are not a Latina.'   (HUUMPH!)  

 

Hmmmm...   Thought about that... and planned accordingly.   So.... I told my two attendants (who both ARE Latinas, and were as offended by that comment as I was)... and asked them if they would be willing to do something with me.   My matron of honor and bridesmaid had shared my discernment in religious life; my matron of honor had been a novice when I was a postulant (and had had to leave for reasons of health), and the other had been part of a discernment group with me for a second community, and we both discerned God wanted something different.  When they heard my idea, they eagerly consented to join me in a custom that VERY MUCH was part of my tradition.

 

The three of us arrived at the Church way before the time of the ceremony, and, holding lighted oil lamps which were my gift to them for being in the bridal party), sang the Salve Regina together in front of Our Lady's altar, and left the lamps alight during the Nuptial Mass.  We figured that lighting candles was a tradition that had come down our Blessed Mother's side of the family... and that singing the Salve was a tradition that had been going strong for a number of hundreds of years in BOTH community's traditions... and in the tradition of my Order as a Secular Order member.   As was praying for those who would be attending the wedding.   We felt it was a good way to ask our Mother to come to the wedding!

 

We figured no one would notice it... I had arranged for someone else to put out and pack up the lamps at the end of the ceremony.... it was to be our little silent gift to Our Lady.  But we had figured without 20th century technology!  The videographer was up in the choir loft getting 'settings' for the video recording... and he caught the entire thing on video... and without asking a word, simply put the Salve at the start of our wedding video!  

 

I tend to think Our Lady was pleased, as was her Son.... I know Mr. AnneLine and I were tickled pink!   (or was that tickled blue!)

 

 

Edited October 6, 2013 by AnneLine

[Sr Mary Catharine OP]

It's an old CATHOLIC CUSTOM! When I entered it was not uncommon (but not happening every week!) for a wedding couple to call and ask if the bride could leave her flowers at our Lady's altar. We would stand at the grille and sing the Ave Maria. But it fell out of custom and now no one seems to do it.

 

PLEASE don't ask a convent or monastery to get married there. It CAN be done but it is very much discouraged and really not welcome. People will say they just want to use the chapel but the nuns end up being involved in the setting up, etc. And then they are asked to sing and then....

 

Arrange to come after the Mass in your bridal finery to the parlor. MUCH BETTER!

 

[Fr. Antony Maria OSB]

I don't know about convent chapels, but I know that some monasteries allow marriages in their chapels/churches. The only ones I know about, however, are some instances where the monastery runs a high-school/college and they allow graduates of their school to get married in their chapel/church. No one else is allowed, though (not even siblings of graduates in some cases).

[TheresaThoma]

About leaving the bouquets before Our Lady I thought this was a normal thing. I'm actually singing at a wedding today and one of the songs is particularly for that part of the ceremony. 

AL I love the whole singing the Salve and bringing oil lamps that is such a wonderful idea (and kudos to the videographer for getting it on film!)

[Cherie]

We knelt before Our Lady and left flowers at her feet during our wedding. :love:

 

I am no expert, but from the limited things I've seen, I agree with Sister above. It might happen nowadays, sure, but not very commonly and I think it's somewhat discouraged.

 

However, the Sister Servants of the Sacred Heart in Cresson, PA will sing and play the organ at your wedding! They consider it part of their apostolate.  

[TheresaThoma]

I could see this maybe happening if the person has a really close connection with the community, but just some random person asking I would think they would say no.

[Chiquitunga]

It's an old CATHOLIC CUSTOM! When I entered it was not uncommon (but not happening every week!) for a wedding couple to call and ask if the bride could leave her flowers at our Lady's altar. We would stand at the grille and sing the Ave Maria. But it fell out of custom and now no one seems to do it.

 

Thanks for sharing that! I had never heard of it before, except in that movie. Maybe it will come back.

 

For putting flowers at Our Lady's altar during (or before or after) Mass at the church where one is married, I always thought that was a widespread custom, but maybe not. In my parish it's almost always done, and most are not Latina. It is during the Mass.

 

I went to an EF Mass at St. John Cantius once, and it was done at the end, I believe just after the Mass was over, although before the Recessional Hymn. I still have the program. The bride went to the side altar with the image of Our Lady of Czestochowa, and left a bouquet of flowers and prayed, while a hymn to Our Lady was sung by the choir. The vows were exchanged right at the beginning, and were a separate Rite from the Nuptial Mass itself which followed.

 

That is so beautiful, your story, AnneLine!! What a grace! :pray: