Preparation To Make First Vows

[Butterfly]

Hi!

I’m now preparing to make my first vows in some months and I know that some of you are novices, have already made temporal vows (or know a lot about these things). So have you good advices, interesting articles or books? I am looking for good materials but I find myself a little bit unmotivated. I focused my novitiate study a lot on the franciscan spirituality and the vows, because I have already a master in theology, so I have already a lot of knowledge, but I would like to deep my understanding of making profession.  I read a lot of books about discernment but I haven't found nothing really interesting for the first profession. Which topics have you made during your novitiate-lessons? How was your process before first vows?? What changed for you with making your first profession?? I would appreciate to have some good material to use my last months for a good preparation and a good sharing of experiences. Thank you :)

 

butterfly

[Sister Marie]

Butterfly,

 

Maybe this is a question better answered by your novitiate directress.  That being said, preparation for first vows is much less study and much more prayer.  Settle into the silence of sacred time before you make vows, talk to your spiritual director about feeling "unmotivated" and about the ways your life is about to change (are you going to receive an assignment after vows or go to study more...?), spend time with Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament, spend more time with the rule and customs of your community, and frequent the sacraments.

 

Prayers as you prepare.

 

SM

[Butterfly]

Dear Sister Marie, thank you so much for your answer. I talk a lot with my novitiate directress about making vows, so don't worry.. You are right, that the preparation of making vows is much more prayer than study. My little motivation is only relied to studying, not to praying.. Normally I am a very intellectual person and I want to reflect everything...  maybe this might say to me, that I haven't put me under pressure to read or to reflect ;-) 

Butterfly

[maximillion]

Hi Butterfly, and welcome.

 

 

It would help in starting to answer your questions to know what community you are with.

I must admit I am a little surprised that your Novice Mistress is not helping you out with your formation in preparation for your First Vows - this is the usual method.

[Butterfly]

Hi Butterfly, and welcome.

 

 

It would help in starting to answer your questions to know what community you are with.

I must admit I am a little surprised that your Novice Mistress is not helping you out with your formation in preparation for your First Vows - this is the usual method.

 

Dear Maximilion!

I am an active franciscan sister. 

I must clarifiy, that I talk to my novice mistress about making vows and we have a preparation for the profession of course, but I look for a deepening and for a sharing with others, so I would like to hear how other felt during this time. So please don't missunderstand me, when I write that I would like to have some further material or discussion. I appreciate my Novice Mistress and she support me a lot and I enjoy our lessons, but I would like to reflect it more.  Does it sound strange? 

[Sister Marie]

Butterfly, it does sound a little bit strange.  I wonder if you are alone in the formation process and are looking for some camaraderie as you approach this big commitment.  It's natural to feel that way.  But I also wondered if maybe you are looking too much outside yourself as you approach this time instead of just being in your relationship with God and with community right now.  Maybe if you do feel a little alone in your experience you could ask your novice mistress if you could spend some time talking to another younger sister in your community who already has vows.  I think that would be a completely acceptable request.  Does that make sense?

[Gabriela]

Butterfly, it does sound a little bit strange.  I wonder if you are alone in the formation process and are looking for some camaraderie as you approach this big commitment.  It's natural to feel that way.  But I also wondered if maybe you are looking too much outside yourself as you approach this time instead of just being in your relationship with God and with community right now.  Maybe if you do feel a little alone in your experience you could ask your novice mistress if you could spend some time talking to another younger sister in your community who already has vows.  I think that would be a completely acceptable request.  Does that make sense?

 

Sister Marie, would you say that religious life brings with it some necessary (and beneficial) loneliness?

[Sister Marie]

Loneliness in and of itself is not a good.  Being alone with God is definitely necessary and beneficial though!  I know another thread was recently discussing the psychological implications of some religious practices and I think this is one place that communities are still trying to balance.  Being alone with God is necessary and beneficial but being lonely is not the same.  Loneliness is normal at some times and everyone feels it occasionally but it isn't good to be lonely all the time.  Humans were not meant to be isolated.  Quiet, recollected - yes... isolated - no.  

 

There was a time where all communities viewed friendships as not good and unacceptable.  As our understanding of religious life and of being human has grown, so has acceptance of having friends.  I know in my own community friendship among the sisters is encouraged.  What was trying to be avoided in the past was having two sisters become to dependent on one another and becoming exclusive.  However, good healthy friendships should be encouraged in religious life because they make us better.  We all need support in our vocation and sometimes that means we need to grow closer to God in the silence of being alone and at other times that means talking to a companion who loves us and challenges us to be better.  Usually, we need both.  

 

As always, its about balance in religious life.  I also come at this as an apostolic religious so I know that however this is lived out in contemplative communities will be different but regardless friendship is a natural and good part of growing in holiness which is the call of all. 

[Aya Sophia]

Some years ago a Benedictine Nun friend transferred from an American monastery to an English monastery. The transition was very difficult. Despite the open-heartedness of her new community her surroundings seemed alien to her and she felt very isolated. It seemed to her that, despite their willingness, her new community couldn't empathise with her. The Sisters came to know about another Benedictine nun in England who was also a transfer from another community. They offered to my friend to correspond with this other nun. She did so for a few years, both nuns finding it mutually helpful and fruitful. They eventually terminated their correspondence easily and naturally when it became clear that both had sufficiently grown into their new communities.

 

My friend's new community had wisely seen that, although it seemed it was right for her to be there, she had needs particular to her own circumstances that the community couldn't quite meet. They were able to propose and provide her appropriate support outside the community to meet these needs in a way that not only did not threaten the success of her transition into their community but assisted it.

 

An important element in the scenario above is that my friend's "reaching out" was done within the bounds of obedience. If you were reaching out for support outside your community or beyond the normal customs of your community without the knowledge of your Novice Directress this might prove hurtful to the process of becoming integrated into your community.

 

What about writing down what it is you feel you need and are "not getting" so as to clarify it first in your own mind? Also, you could write down any ideas you might have for remedying this lack. (Before, during and after, PRAY.) Then go to your Novice Directress and have a conversation specifically about this matter.  It may end up being a session in which she gets to know you as she didn't before and simply conversing with her this way may help clarify things further for you.  However it proceeds, best to try to be simple and straightforward with your Directress and act always within obedience (grace can operate freely this way).

 

[cmaD2006]

Butterfly, it does sound a little bit strange.  I wonder if you are alone in the formation process and are looking for some camaraderie as you approach this big commitment.  It's natural to feel that way.  But I also wondered if maybe you are looking too much outside yourself as you approach this time instead of just being in your relationship with God and with community right now.  Maybe if you do feel a little alone in your experience you could ask your novice mistress if you could spend some time talking to another younger sister in your community who already has vows.  I think that would be a completely acceptable request.  Does that make sense?

 

I agree with Sr. Marie -- the people that need to answer the questions that you are bringing up are your community sisters.  The novitiate experience and preparing to make 1st vows are very unique experiences that will vary from community to community.

 

Someone's experience from another community, although nice to know, is not going to be specific to your situation.  Besides -- you're getting "married" in a sense.  That is -- the relationship between you and the community is so key, that it really doesn't matter what others experience that are outside of your community.  The answers need to come from the community (and maybe discerned with a good spiritual director, especially if you are wondering whether or not you are ready to make 1st vows).