Please Tell Me This Is Scrupulosity

[Poorly Catechized Convert]

In the confessional I was confessing getting angry at a priest due to what he said in the confessional. I didn't want my confessor to think I was angry for know reason and so I mentioned that I was offended by what I was told. I didn't go into any more details because that would have been inappropriate. Now I'm wondering if I invalidated my confession.

I was about to committee the sin of detraction and actually begun doing so. Soon after, I realized what I was doing and so I stopped my self from going further. I then reemphasized something positive. There was also an incident where one of my family members was mentioning an attitude I use to have. In her view it was neutral but I feel that my view was wrong and potentially sinful. I felt an obligation to correct her, but I couldn't manage. In part it was due to embarrassment. Eventually I changed the subject. I'm curious if either of the two situations were mortal sins.

Later in the day a song came into my mind. I had an urge to sign the chorus, but stopped myself. I believed that my intent in doing so was to make fun of someone. I stopped myself, but then resumed the action. At another point I became very stressed and frustrated and so I lashed out. Immediately after that, I realized that my action was wrong. In addition, I laughed at an inappropriate joke on a TV show. Lastly, I made a rash judgement/ unfair assumption. As I was thinking this I realized I was wrong and tried to correct my self. This may not have worked immediately. I'm also worried that these are mortal sins.

So do these things sound like scrupulosity? Am I safe to receive the Eucharist tomorrow? I do struggle with scruples and have been talking to my confessor about it. But due to changing circumstances it is becoming difficult to see him regularly.

[arfink]

In the confessional I was confessing getting angry at a priest due to what he said in the confessional. I didn't want my confessor to think I was angry for know reason and so I mentioned that I was offended by what I was told. I didn't go into any more details because that would have been inappropriate. Now I'm wondering if I invalidated my confession.

I was about to committee the sin of detraction and actually begun doing so. Soon after, I realized what I was doing and so I stopped my self from going further. I then reemphasized something positive. There was also an incident where one of my family members was mentioning an attitude I use to have. In her view it was neutral but I feel that my view was wrong and potentially sinful. I felt an obligation to correct her, but I couldn't manage. In part it was due to embarrassment. Eventually I changed the subject. I'm curious if either of the two situations were mortal sins.

Later in the day a song came into my mind. I had an urge to sign the chorus, but stopped myself. I believed that my intent in doing so was to make fun of someone. I stopped myself, but then resumed the action. At another point I became very stressed and frustrated and so I lashed out. Immediately after that, I realized that my action was wrong. In addition, I laughed at an inappropriate joke on a TV show. Lastly, I made a rash judgement/ unfair assumption. As I was thinking this I realized I was wrong and tried to correct my self. This may not have worked immediately. I'm also worried that these are mortal sins.

So do these things sound like scrupulosity? Am I safe to receive the Eucharist tomorrow? I do struggle with scruples and have been talking to my confessor about it. But due to changing circumstances it is becoming difficult to see him regularly.

 

I don't see anything which would even be grave matter. I'd say, go to Communion.
 

[Basilisa Marie]

You're being scrupulous. 

[Poorly Catechized Convert]

Thanks for the replies. I had a feeling I was being scrupulous. Still I want to add a couple more things. So in regards to the one about me lashing out due to frustration, anger, and stress: if it involved me pushing someone out of my way, could it be elevated to mortal? I don't recall much reflection prior to the action; I just did it then realized it was wrong.

Also, I remember end a sin that I didn't me took and I'm unsure if I intentionally conceal end it. It involved me talking about my conversion with a bad intent. First of all, I have a hard time wanting to believe that I did this because then it would make me fear that my conversion wasn't genuine. This made me want to assume that I didn't have this bad intent. The same reason I feared mentioning it to my confessor. I do recall thinking about grouping it with some other things I wanted to ask him about (I was curious if some other things were scruples or real sins). What should I make of this situation?

Lastly, am I worrying too much?

[Apteka]

You seem like a highly religious yet isolated person

[ToJesusMyHeart]

Lastly, am I worrying too much?

 Yes. Jesus knows your heart, knows your efforts, knows your anxieties. 

 

Trust in Him, and His mercy. 

[Nihil Obstat]

PCC, you should get a regular confessor or spiritual director. You probably suffer from scrupulosity, but it is really not our place to diagnose that. Still less can we give you direction in overcoming it. Find a confessor, then follow his instructions. They are trained to help this sort of thing.

[Aya Sophia]

Perhaps you're going through some purification so your sins seem magnified.  In any case, concur with Nihil - best to try to find a (well-catechised) spiritual director.

[Apteka]

Go out, have a little fun, learn to be adventurous and curious about life rather than timid. If your sincere and your heart is pure God will guide you

[Poorly Catechized Convert]

Thanks for the replies. From the responses it seems that I can receive the Eucharist today.

I do have a regular confessor, and I have been going to him with these things.

Edited September 30, 2013 by Poorly Catechized Convert

[Aya Sophia]

Go out, have a little fun, learn to be adventurous and curious about life rather than timid. If your sincere and your heart is pure God will guide you

 

Golly.  I tried that when I was in a place similar to PCC's.  Didn't work.  However, this may just have been due to my warped personality.

 

PCC, seems to me Holy Spirit is working on you.  Scrupulosity is frequently a part of purgation (precious treasure, the fires of purgation - not to be put lightly aside).  Will pray you're able to find the spiritual accompaniment you need.

[Poorly Catechized Convert]

So I wanted to ask about something I struggle with on this topic. The typical advice is that if you aren't sure than go to communion. But what if you're in a middle area? For example you feel like something you did is mortal (there was even a pause for reflection prior to the action), but you're not confident enough to go to confession and risk disobeying your confessor. I find myself in these situations often and end up feeling stupid. I end up being in the church while confessions are being heard, before Mass,but skipping it. I fear that if it's not mortal than I sinned by going to soon, thus disobeying my confessor. Then at Mass I abstain from the Eucharist because I feel like I'm in mortal sin. I feel that if I skip confession I should go to communion and if I know I won't then I should go to confession. I become embarrassed when people see me not do this. I look stupid if I skip confession when I think I'm in mortal sin. So does anyone have any advice?

Now there is something more related to my previous post. Sometimes I find myself in a line of thought that's sinful. I would definitely label it mortal if it went in a certain direction, but I didn't go there. Still it was presumptuous, rude, and unfair. Once I realized this I did correct myself, but it was after going down this line of thought for a couple of minutes. So what should I make of this situation?

[cmaD2006]

My two cents ... I dealt with scrupulosity for about a year, and I was blessed to have a wonderful confessor who helped tame it.

 

a) follow your confessor's advice to the T.  My confessor/Spiritual Director at the time (strongly) suggested that I limit my confessions to monthly, unless I seriously thought I fell into mortal sin in which case I could go to confession with him.  But I couldn't go into confession on a whim either (he actually made a threat to actually restrict my confessions for a time period, if I didn't find a way to correct myself).  When we met in spiritual direction he actually explained himself better as to why he did what he did -- which didn't remove the sting of it.  But I was glad he did that (it was the medicine that I needed).

 

b) stick with one confessor and do not bounce from confessor to confessor.  Which means, you don't go to confession with whatever priest is available if your confessor is not available.  I still tend to stick to one priest for confession (and sometimes will use my spiritual director for confession instead of my usual confessor if convenient).

 

c) if there is any doubt whatsoever as to whether or not a sin is mortal or not (i.e. meeting the three conditions), then take the assumption that you did not sin mortally and go to communion.  You can then clarify it with your confessor when you get a chance.  Don't second guess yourself in this regard at all -- since someone suffering from scruples will tend to think that EVERYTHING is a mortal sin, when it is not.  The beautiful thing is that if you are faithful to this, you will learn soon enough what is a mortal sin and what is not, and this will form your conscience accordingly.  You will then be able to start to trust your own judgment.

 

Again I'm not your confessor nor your spiritual director, so whatever they say is golden.  But this is how I dealt with scruples in my life a few years ago.

[Poorly Catechized Convert]

Thanks. That's good advice. My confessor assigned me to weekly confession which has helped. Sadly, with my current living conditions it's impossible for me to go to him alone. I have to alternate between him and another priest. That is unless I switch the day of the week in which I confess. I'm mentioning this because I just did something that I'm positive is mortal (I'll discuss that soon) and want to confess it sooner than my normal day. If i were to make this change then I'd also have to switch confessors. Granted, I'll be spending much more time with that priest than my current confessor. At the same time, I prefer my confessor because he already knows my struggles.

So about the sin I mentioned above. It involves me lying to get out of a situation that would require me to state the teachings of the church (something I wanted to avoid). Before doing this I stopped and actually told my self that to go through with the action was to commit a mortal sin. After thinking for a while I did it any way. So in this case grave matter, full consent and full knowledge were present.

[Poorly Catechized Convert]

Sorry to bump, but I was curious if anyone had any feedback on my previous post.