Is Walking Out Of Mass The Answer? How Not To Lose Your Religion.

[CatherineM]

I've only walked out once. I was shoved out of my seat and thrown against a wall right in front of an usher who just shrugged and walked away. Been locked out of churches lots of times.

[CrossCuT]

i will always advocate for people to leave a Mass that is making them spiritually ill or so upset that they are shaking. i have literally only been to 2 Masses in my whole life (as a cradle Catholic) that I have had to do that. and once was when I was heavily pregnant and had little to no patience or self-control not to walk up to the priest and throttle him if i hadn't left. 

 

I think you make a good point. If someone loses all self control and is bordering on physical violence, they should probably leave mass. However as you and others have mentioned, these situations happen so infrequently its probably not a real issue.

 

I dont know what it means to be spiritually ill, but I feel like it would take a culmination of a lot of events in someones spiritual life to render them ill. I feel like 20-30 minutes in a mass that upsets them wouldnt shake the core of their foundation if they had just previously been fine upon entering mass; there would have to be some other external factors. But thats just my speculation and Id like to add I am not making assumptions about anyone's spiritual life. 

[Lilllabettt]

I think if you can help it, you shouldn't, just out of respect. But there are times people can't help it. I think "do what you have to" applies.

 

I personally have walked out of Mass, but it had nothing to do with what the priest was doing -  I was going to be physically sick.  I wonder if people thought my leaving was a political act?

 

Awhile ago the associate pastor in my hometown parish gave a homily tearing into the religious rights violations in Obama Care, and he mentioned that at earlier Mass times that day people had walked out on him ... and he asked us to hear him out and not walk out just to show respect; if we had problems with what he said he would be glad to talk after Mass. No problem for me! But then when he finishd everyone started clapping and gave him a standing o. Which I don't think is appropriate in the context of Mass. But I felt l had to stand up and clap a little, or else everyone would assume I supported the government violating our rights.

 

politics, le sigh.

Edited September 25, 2013 by Lilllabettt

[beatitude]

St Teresa of Avila once said that she had never heard a sermon so bad that she couldn't get something out of it spiritually, even if it were only compassion for the preacher.

 

I think that is something we have to remember always about the liturgy. If I get annoyed by a rambling homily, I remind myself that maybe for someone else in the building, it contains exactly what they need to hear, and I pray that God will give every worshipper the nourishment that he or she most needs from the Mass. Give us this day our daily bread. If the sermon isn't Catholic, then I pray for unity in the faith, and humility to remember the times when I have caused disunity through my actions or my words. If the liturgy seems tasteless or irreverent, I ask God to prevent me from rushing to judgment, to bless the priest's good intentions, and to inspire our pastors to give us reverent liturgies. I also take care to focus especially hard on my own participation, based on what I have learned of mental prayer.

 

We are worshipping as a community, and rather than thinking all the time about what the priest should and shouldn't be doing, it's better if we think about what we could do. That original article makes it sound almost as though it's the priest's responsibility to provide us with a theatre performance.

[CrossCuT]

I think that is something we have to remember always about the liturgy. If I get annoyed by a rambling homily, I remind myself that maybe for someone else in the building, it contains exactly what they need to hear, 

I really like this. Im going to keep this in mind!

Im not perfect, my eyes often glaze over during a dull homily but I think the next time I get bored I will say a prayer for the people who are suffering and this homily might be of help to them!

[AnneLine]

Huh.  Lots of good stuff in these posts.

 

A few months ago I was at a profession for a cloistered nun.  The priest was... totally boring.  Uninspired. Insipid in fact.  I was embarrassed for him, for my friend who was being professed.  She told me afterwards that she didn't remember a lot of it but wasn't too impressed with the sermon either.

 

But then Sisters's sister, who is NOT a practicing Catholic, told me that that sermon just TALKED to her.  For the first time she understood WHY her sister was doing what she was doing.  And was excited for her.  And she totally attributed it to Father's sermon.  So.... I realized very vividly that it isn't always for me!

 

NOW having said that, I have walked out of a Mass because the sermon was so over-the-top wrong that I felt that by staying in the Mass I would have been condoning what he was saying.  I was in the choir up on the altar, so felt that to stay really would have been sending a message.  I didn't make a big scene, simply got up and walked on.   And phoned in my resignation from the choir a few days later.... and changed parishes.

 

And I also have changed parishes when the priest started mucking around with the words of the liturgy to the point that I was no longer sure if the Blessed Sacrament was being confected.   When one has to approach the altar with the prayer:  "If you are God, I worship you; if you are not, I want nothing to do with you...." it is time to consider moving on.   

 

But those are only TWO of tens (probably hundreds) of thousands of Masses I have had the privilege of attending.  And I thank God for each and every one.

 

I agree with all that was said about being charitable toward the overworked, spiritually starved priests.  Having said that, maybe we need to make it clear to them -- and to the bishops -- that this is NOT fair to them, and that we want them to have a spiritual (and human) life -- and that this is VITAL if we want them to be holy, happy men.  And it is the BEST preventative, in my opinion, for the kinds of scandals that have happened.   Because if they are in love -- really in love! -- with God and connected in healthy ways with other people, the chances for getting into trouble go down a lot.  At least for those that are tempted when sad, tired, lonely, burned-out.

 

Edited September 25, 2013 by AnneLine

[AnneLine]

On the 'the sermon is so bad' front....  One of the most insightful comments I have ever heard on the 'horrible sermon' front came from a protestant minister.  He was  asked the same question, about the horrible sermons and not 'getting anything' out of the Church service.  He asked the people:  When was the last time you PRAYED, really PRAYED for the one delivering that sermon?  As the preacher approaches the pulpit, do you pray for him and for his hearers?  Do you beg that the Holy Spirit will open YOUR hearts as well as HIS tongue?  If you are not doing that... if you are not really bringing in your needs to prayer and praying for those of those around you.... and recognize that the Church is gathered in the presence of God.... then YOU are part of the problem.  You cannot put it all on that preacher.

 

I think it is a very interesting insight... and one I try to remember when I feel 'bored' or 'uninspired'.

 

One final story... a few years ago I was at the Easter mass in the Dominican Parish.   Dominicans are well-known for being fabulous preachers -- and usually this is the case!   But this particular Easter, I felt Father was... kind of off his feed.   It was valid, orthodox, just seemed to me to kind of not... be terribly 'inspired'.  You all know what I am describing here.   And I kind of felt bad because... it was EASTER!!!!!  But we all have days like that.....

 

But the next day, as I was getting coffee half-a-city away, my local barrista looked at me and said, "Hey... didn't I see you at St. D's yesterday?' 'Uh, yes, happy Easter!'  'Thank you!   And wasn't that an incredible sermon?'  She then proceeded to literally quote practically the entire sermon at me.... word for word.  She had heard it.  She had internalized it.  She was truly filled-with-the-food that the Preacher had spoken.'  Then she admitted to me that she and her family don't always go to Church every single Sunday, but they have a tradition of going to St. D's for Easter.  And that THIS year because of THAT sermon, she had decided to go every week.

 

And I was awed and humbled at what the Lord had done.  I told the priest about it a few days later, and he said to me, "AnneLine, you know... I needed to hear that.   I felt my sermon was really off that day... and I was wondering if maybe my vocation was useless.   What you have told me has made me realize that it is God's business of whether or not a particular sermon is as effective as I might want it to be... God can always use it, if people's hearts are ready to receive it."

 

Amen to that.

 

And I pray for all of us to be that open..... that listening.... for the Voice of God.....   :pray:

[Nihil Obstat]

Huh.  Lots of good stuff in these posts.

 

A few months ago I was at a profession for a cloistered nun.  The priest was... totally boring.  Uninspired. Insipid in fact.  I was embarrassed for him, for my friend who was being professed.  She told me afterwards that she didn't remember a lot of it but wasn't too impressed with the sermon either.

 

But then Sisters's sister, who is NOT a practicing Catholic, told me that that sermon just TALKED to her.  For the first time she understood WHY her sister was doing what she was doing.  And was excited for her.  And she totally attributed it to Father's sermon.  So.... I realized very vividly that it isn't always for me!

 

NOW having said that, I have walked out of a Mass because the sermon was so over-the-top wrong that I felt that by staying in the Mass I would have been condoning what he was saying.  I was in the choir up on the altar, so felt that to stay really would have been sending a message.  I didn't make a big scene, simply got up and walked on.   And phoned in my resignation from the choir a few days later.... and changed parishes.

 

And I also have changed parishes when the priest started mucking around with the words of the liturgy to the point that I was no longer sure if the Blessed Sacrament was being confected.   When one has to approach the altar with the prayer:  "If you are God, I worship you; if you are not, I want nothing to do with you...." it is time to consider moving on.   

 

But those are only TWO of tens (probably hundreds) of thousands of Masses I have had the privilege of attending.  And I thank God for each and every one.

 

I agree with all that was said about being charitable toward the overworked, spiritually starved priests.  Having said that, maybe we need to make it clear to them -- and to the bishops -- that this is NOT fair to them, and that we want them to have a spiritual (and human) life -- and that this is VITAL if we want them to be holy, happy men.  And it is the BEST preventative, in my opinion, for the kinds of scandals that have happened.   Because if they are in love -- really in love! -- with God and connected in healthy ways with other people, the chances for getting into trouble go down a lot.  At least for those that are tempted when sad, tired, lonely, burned-out.

To have attended 100 000 Masses, assuming you went to one Mass every day since the day you were born, you would have to be nearly 274 years old. :|

[AnneLine]

fair enough... math has never been my strong suit, Nihil!

 

 but I have a lot of days of attending multiple masses..... tens probably would work...

 

 

And some days I feel 274 years old..... or older....

Edited September 25, 2013 by AnneLine

[Nihil Obstat]

Perhaps you are a Time Lord. Or, rather, Time Lady.

[AnneLine]

And you, Sir, are a gracious gentleman.   Where as I am but a poor mathematician!   :buddies:   God has use for both of us..... :pray:

[Lil Red]

I think you make a good point. If someone loses all self control and is bordering on physical violence, they should probably leave mass. However as you and others have mentioned, these situations happen so infrequently its probably not a real issue.

 

exactly. :) 

 

I dont know what it means to be spiritually ill, but I feel like it would take a culmination of a lot of events in someones spiritual life to render them ill.  

 

well, i should add that i was working at one of these parishes when i had to walk out. lots of culmination brought me to that point. 

[CrossCuT]

Yeah I get that. The parish closest to my apartment is pretty iffy in some times. No kneelers, no missals, they advertise communal absolution etc.

Despite that, I really enjoy the two priests there a lot.

[CatherineM]

Since I attend school with a bunch of seminarians, I get subjected to lots of newbie sermons at school masses. I try not to laugh or yawn. Sometimes it's unavoidable.

[CrossCuT]

:hehe2: