Spiritual Direction - Should You Pay For It?

[Theologian in Training]

I do spiritual direction often, have been for seven years. Granted, I do get a salary from the Diocese, but half of that goes to paying expenses that aren't covered (car, phone, taxes (probably the worst) and other expenses). However, any money I get for anything I do, be it spiritual direction, extra for a funeral, baptism, wedding, etc. I give to the parish. My feeling is as a priest I was ordained to, as St. Paul puts it give spiritual things without charge and, besides, when you start taking money for anything, you start to feel like you are working a job, rather than fulfilling your vocation.

 

Granted, I have used some of the money I got for talks, but that is just so I can fill up my tank in order to get back from whence I came, otherwise, the majority of any money I get I give back. Heck, even when people ask what we "charge" for a wedding or baptism, primarily, I tell them to give whatever they feel they can give. Yes, the parish is a small business, but that doesn't mean it has to function like one all the time, otherwise, you are going to have people asking how much we "charge" for Masses or how much they owe us for using the hall. Is that good economics? Probably not, but, at the end of the day, I wasn't ordained to be an economist, I was ordained to bring Christ to the people, via the sacraments, spiritual direction or in any other way I am called to do.

So, in my opinion, I don't think anyone should charge, while I know some do make a "business" out of direction, I think there is also a danger, because then direction starts to look a lot like therapy or counseling, something that people charge by the hour. If I spend an hour, two hours, or a half hour, it makes no difference, my feeling is when you start putting price tags, at all, on things, you start to feed the "how much do you charge mentaility," but we are working for something immeasurably more valuable and something that, in the world, could be worth a lot, actually, but because it is the Church, pricetags truly should mean nothing. 

 

God bless,

 

Fr. Brian

Edited October 18, 2013 by Theologian in Training

[AccountDeleted]

Father Brian - thank you so much for your post. It reflects how I feel about the whole issue.

 

I know that Jesus told the disciples not to take any money with them and not to charge, and He also said that they should stay in the first house where they were welcome and accept food and lodging because 'the worker deserves his wages'. What He didn't say was to charge a set fee for what they did.

 

Will there be people who abuse the system, who are rich enough to offer a lot but who don't? Yes, of course, but at least this way, there won't be poor but sincere people who simply can't afford to get the spiritual help they need.

 

To me, spiritual direction shouldn't be a substitute for counseling, and counseling shouldn't be a substitute for spiritual direction - they are two different things. But I do believe the line has gotten a little blurred these days for some people. The thing is, secular counseling is cheaper where I am than spiritual direction. I could use counseling to help me make decisions about things, but will I get the spiritual help I need to discern what is best for my soul?

 

I get the whole cost/expense thing, but when one can't afford to get the spiritual help they need, then is the Church really serving the poor? We hear about Pope Francis stressing how the Church needs to be there for the poor, but it isn't only social services that we need, it's spiritual help as well. And yes, I do consider myself one of the poor at the moment. I am not homeless, nor am I starving, but that is because I live in a country where the government ensures that the unemployed at least have that much. But the government doesn't support my spiritual needs (and shouldn't) - so it would be nice if the Church did.

 

Father Brian, you are a true Christian.

[Catherine Therese]

 

Will there be people who abuse the system, who are rich enough to offer a lot but who don't? Yes, of course, but at least this way, there won't be poor but sincere people who simply can't afford to get the spiritual help they need.

 

 

I don't know why I always have to write an essay when two sentences do the trick.  :photo:

THAT is exactly the point I was trying to get across in my last posts on this matter. 

Edited October 19, 2013 by Catherine Therese

[AccountDeleted]

I don't know why I always have to write an essay when two sentences do the trick.  :photo:

THAT is exactly the point I was trying to get across in my last posts on this matter. 

 

 

Lucky break I guess. I always use ten words when one will do! :p

[cmaD2006]

Father Brian - thank you so much for your post. It reflects how I feel about the whole issue.

I know that Jesus told the disciples not to take any money with them and not to charge, and He also said that they should stay in the first house where they were welcome and accept food and lodging because 'the worker deserves his wages'. What He didn't say was to charge a set fee for what they did.

Will there be people who abuse the system, who are rich enough to offer a lot but who don't? Yes, of course, but at least this way, there won't be poor but sincere people who simply can't afford to get the spiritual help they need.

To me, spiritual direction shouldn't be a substitute for counseling, and counseling shouldn't be a substitute for spiritual direction - they are two different things. But I do believe the line has gotten a little blurred these days for some people. The thing is, secular counseling is cheaper where I am than spiritual direction. I could use counseling to help me make decisions about things, but will I get the spiritual help I need to discern what is best for my soul?

I get the whole cost/expense thing, but when one can't afford to get the spiritual help they need, then is the Church really serving the poor? We hear about Pope Francis stressing how the Church needs to be there for the poor, but it isn't only social services that we need, it's spiritual help as well. And yes, I do consider myself one of the poor at the moment. I am not homeless, nor am I starving, but that is because I live in a country where the government ensures that the unemployed at least have that much. But the government doesn't support my spiritual needs (and shouldn't) - so it would be nice if the Church did.

Father Brian, you are a true Christian.

My two cents as I am taking the time and money in a training class with no support from other than myself. I do think that it can be allowed for a director to receive a stipend. Having said that no director worth their weight in gold will charge a person who cannot afford it. It is sometimes a question of explaining one's situatuion, and yes it may mean an act of humility to explain what is going on. I give a donation to my director but the guidelines are clear ... if you cannot afford it you speak up and explain. Its that simple ... and all is wrll.

[AccountDeleted]

My two cents as I am taking the time and money in a training class with no support from other than myself. I do think that it can be allowed for a director to receive a stipend. Having said that no director worth their weight in gold will charge a person who cannot afford it. It is sometimes a question of explaining one's situatuion, and yes it may mean an act of humility to explain what is going on. I give a donation to my director but the guidelines are clear ... if you cannot afford it you speak up and explain. Its that simple ... and all is wrll.

 

 

I am glad that things are that simple for you but unfortunately not every situation is equal. I have already 'humbled myself' and explained my situation to two spiritual centres and several priests, but was still told that the fee was $50 per session, with all of their explanations about how this was standard practice, expenses etc and that they can't make exceptions. So, no, things aren't well. :|

[add]

charging a fee for spiritual direction is obscene. 

[add]

A sister, a brother or even your biological mother or father could help

If you let them!

[add]

Turn to family

[AccountDeleted]

Turn to family

 

You really think I should turn to atheists and agnostics for spiritual direction? Hmmm....

 

 

add - You've posted something similar about 4 or 5 times, suggesting a spouse, parents, family etc, and saying otherwise you are paying someone to be a friend. Do you have any idea what spiritual direction really is?? I'm just asking because it isn't the same thing as being a friend.

Edited October 27, 2013 by nunsense

[add]

You really think I should turn to atheists and agnostics for spiritual direction? Hmmm....


add - You've posted something similar about 4 or 5 times, suggesting a spouse, parents, family etc, and saying otherwise you are paying someone to be a friend. Do you have any idea what spiritual direction really is?? I'm just asking because it isn't the same thing as being a friend.

My mother taught me that spiritual direction the goal is to seek discernment of how the Holy Spirit is leading in one's own particular life

[PhuturePriest]

I do spiritual direction often, have been for seven years. Granted, I do get a salary from the Diocese, but half of that goes to paying expenses that aren't covered (car, phone, taxes (probably the worst) and other expenses). However, any money I get for anything I do, be it spiritual direction, extra for a funeral, baptism, wedding, etc. I give to the parish. My feeling is as a priest I was ordained to, as St. Paul puts it give spiritual things without charge and, besides, when you start taking money for anything, you start to feel like you are working a job, rather than fulfilling your vocation.

 

Granted, I have used some of the money I got for talks, but that is just so I can fill up my tank in order to get back from whence I came, otherwise, the majority of any money I get I give back. Heck, even when people ask what we "charge" for a wedding or baptism, primarily, I tell them to give whatever they feel they can give. Yes, the parish is a small business, but that doesn't mean it has to function like one all the time, otherwise, you are going to have people asking how much we "charge" for Masses or how much they owe us for using the hall. Is that good economics? Probably not, but, at the end of the day, I wasn't ordained to be an economist, I was ordained to bring Christ to the people, via the sacraments, spiritual direction or in any other way I am called to do.

So, in my opinion, I don't think anyone should charge, while I know some do make a "business" out of direction, I think there is also a danger, because then direction starts to look a lot like therapy or counseling, something that people charge by the hour. If I spend an hour, two hours, or a half hour, it makes no difference, my feeling is when you start putting price tags, at all, on things, you start to feed the "how much do you charge mentaility," but we are working for something immeasurably more valuable and something that, in the world, could be worth a lot, actually, but because it is the Church, pricetags truly should mean nothing. 

 

God bless,

 

Fr. Brian

 

Thank you very much for this, Father Brian. We always give my spiritual director food for free (We own a restaurant and he absolutely loves our food), but your post inspired me to give him a donation! The fact he doesn't ask for money makes me more inclined to give him some, because I appreciate that he's helping me out simply because he's nice like that.

[AccountDeleted]

My mother taught me that spiritual direction the goal is to seek discernment of how the Holy Spirit is leading in one's own particular life

 

 

 

I assume  that your mother was Catholic? Or at least Christian? My mother was my best friend and I adored her, but she wasn't a Christian and would not have tried to give me spiritual direction.

 

Spiritual direction in my opinion, should be done by someone who is not emotionally invested in the choices that one makes with their life. Otherwise they might have a conflict of interests.

 

 

Thank you very much for this, Father Brian. We always give my spiritual director food for free (We own a restaurant and he absolutely loves our food), but your post inspired me to give him a donation! The fact he doesn't ask for money makes me more inclined to give him some, because I appreciate that he's helping me out simply because he's nice like that.

 

 

I have been blessed in that I was contacted by a priest who said he would be happy to give me spiritual direction without charge. I intend to give a donation to his community of what I can afford at the time. If I had a restaurant - you can be sure I would give free meals! :)

[blazeingstar]

I am glad that things are that simple for you but unfortunately not every situation is equal. I have already 'humbled myself' and explained my situation to two spiritual centres and several priests, but was still told that the fee was $50 per session, with all of their explanations about how this was standard practice, expenses etc and that they can't make exceptions. So, no, things aren't well. :|

 

 

Yes, nunsense, we get it, now you're saying the same things 4 or 5 times.

 

The organization you are going to has something wrong with it.  HOWEVER, you shouldn't jump to the conclusions that just because a moneteary sum is asked it makes all those asking for money in the wrong.

 

You've already stated that this place has some questionable theological values so  WHY do you keep harping on the fact that they won't take you on?  Consider it a blessing, report them to the dioceses for their errors against the church and MOVE ON.  When you find a good priest, nun or other person give what you can and then give more when you have the means.

 

The orgnizaiton that you keep going to has problems.  Money is a sign of that problem, not the core.

 

I feel like you are unjustly lauding Fr. Brian whilst not taking into concerns of those who are not provided food and clothing and housing by the dioceses as well as pocket money.    Even the fransciscan friars at a local parish acknowledge this...they don't have to worry about where they will lay their head, and they know some parishioners do.   They do eat so modestly that one parishoner thought they were buying for a big dinner when they were actually buying a weeks worth of food for two men!  

 

When you don't have that it's different.  He COULD be less generous, but he is not.  That is good....but it does not deserve lauds.

Edited October 28, 2013 by blazeingstar

[add]

i get my spiritual direction at mass  every Sunday, listening and contemplating the sermon.   i try to give a generous donation in the collection plate when i can, not because of getting some personal advice but because it feels good to give.

still say family is best place to find honest  spiritual direction...