AccountDeleted Posted September 22, 2013 Share Posted September 22, 2013 There must be a better label for us ex-nuns than returnee or veteran! :) I'm not clever enough to think one up but when I left one convent, my brother called me a Renegade Nun and wrote a poem about it. He said it was supposed to be sung to the tune of Psycho Dad (I don't know the song). It might be too irreverent for this place, but it was his feeble attempt to comfort me and make me laugh. Bless his little atheist heart. Renegade Nun Who's that riding in the sun ? Who's the woman eating hot cross buns ? Who's the woman who prays for fun ? Renegade NUN, Renegade NUN, Renegade NUN ! She sleeps with a Bible and she loves His Son Left the convent 'cos it was no fun. She's Renegade NUN. A little touched or so we're told, Left her Husband 'cos his other wives were cold Being married to Jesus and getting old Renegade NUN, Renegade NUN, Renegade NUN ! She loves the Lord But the Carmelites made her sore. She's Renegade NUN ! Who's that riding in the sleigh ? Who's that drinking Diet Coke along the way ? Who's looking up YouTube vids on Christmas day ? Renegade NUN, Renegade NUN, Renegade NUN ! Who's that riding across the plain ? Who's happy now that she’s left the pain ? Who's the woman who's plumb insane ? Renegade NUN, Renegade NUN, Renegade NUN ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sr Mary Catharine OP Posted September 22, 2013 Share Posted September 22, 2013 Catherine Therese, leaving the convent was the most difficult thing I have ever done. I left in my 2nd year as a novice. I likened it to jumping into a pool that I knew didn't have any water! I didn't have anyone really to talk to after I left as even my spiritual director was transferred about a month after I left. I'd suggest that you don't think of yourself as an "ex-nun". You are a woman who tested her vocation to religious life and found that that was not where God is calling you to become a saint. I found the book I BELIEVE IN LOVE very helpful during my time of adjustment. Maybe you would, too. Stay close to Jesus through prayer and the sacraments, holy Mass, the rosary! I remember being severely tested in my faith in the months after I left the convent. God bless you and I will be praying for you! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VeniJesuAmorMi Posted September 22, 2013 Share Posted September 22, 2013 God bless you Catherine Therese. I will be keeping you in prayer. :) I am understanding of your situation and so I pray that our Blessed Mother will keep you safe and ever close to Jesus. I thought I would share a couple of letters that Saint Maravillas' spiritual director wrote to her. I always enjoy going back to read them, as I find them encouraging. Maybe you will also, and maybe for others on here as well, but here they are anyway: "He is leading you by very painful paths, but you are very much His; He is placing you in His divine will, and in this lies everything. If you could understand how clearly I see all of this! To walk without a path is a blessing, and the more intense the darkness becomes, the clearer is God's light in the depths of the soul. What happens is that souls do not see it, because they would lose the treasure of the cross, and the Lord does not want them to lose it. Let us allow the Lord to act and be ever more lovingly abandoned to Him, seeing everything as the mercy of God." Saint Maravillas added, "and forget myself. In that simple approach we find God, and that is His path." "Very well, then. I tell you once again that all of that is the pure mercy of God. Because He loves you, He sends you many gifts of His love, and much for your own good. And this is where one nearly loses one's mind. How can the Lord have so much love for souls, who do not even deserve to be in His Divine Presence? Thinking of this is enough to make one go crazy. Aside from this, I tell you that the way by which you are traveling, so dark and painful, leads most directly to the Lord. I would not remove you from it for anything in the world, even if it were in my power. I bless the Lord because He has you on it! You have nothing to do but blindly abandon yourself in the Lord's Hands, rejoicing in knowing that He desires to be glorified in this way. God is Truth Itself, and on that truth our faith and hope are based. He cannot fail us. God loves us with an infinite love, although we may be most unworthy of that love, and no one can take that away from us. We must surrender and abandon ourselves on this immovable rock. Where will we go, if not to Him? Isn't that the only thing we can do in such situations in order to glorify Him? So let us glorify Him and leave our cares forgotten among the lilies. Offer Him the desires He gives you or puts in your heart. He will satisfy them. "But again I repeat to you a thousand times: do not be afraid, because it is the Lord, the most loving and merciful Lord. One star after another will go before you to illumine this darkness, until there comes the day without shadow when your work will be to love God as He wants to be loved. By His mercy that day will arrive." (These letters are from the book, "Following the Path of Divine Love" by the Discalced Carmelites of Cerro do los Angeles and La Aldehuela, Spain) Also, here is a prayer to share to our Blessed Mother: "Take my hand, O Blessed Mother hold me firmly, lest I fall. I am nervous when I'm walking and on Thee I humbly call. Guide me over every crossing watch me when I'm on the stairs let me know that You're beside me listen to my fervent prayer. Bring me to my destination safely, every single day. Help me with each undertaking as the hours pass away. And when evening falls upon us and I fear to be alone Take my hand, O Blessed Mother, once again, O lead me home." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maggyie Posted September 22, 2013 Share Posted September 22, 2013 Welcome back CT! I remember when you entered. I hope it is some comfort to you that the experience of "returning" is a common one, especially in some congregations, and so many women have successfully walked this road before you. I second Sister Mary Catherine's recommendation of "I Believe in Love." I have never been in religious life but that book has been helpful in many of the challenging transitions I've made in my life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brandelynmarie Posted September 22, 2013 Share Posted September 22, 2013 Much love & prayers, yes, let us pray for one another that we abide in His Will! :) I really enjoyed what I read on your blog too, btw...very thought-provoking insights between the ordinary & the Divine... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cmaD2006 Posted September 22, 2013 Share Posted September 22, 2013 Prayers here too ... I entered and left twice. :) Transitions are hard but what keeps me going is that the Lord is looking out for what is best for my life and all will be fine in the long run (think Rom 8:28). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deus te Amat Posted September 22, 2013 Share Posted September 22, 2013 :wave: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
be_thou_my_vision Posted September 22, 2013 Share Posted September 22, 2013 Hello there! I also entered and left religious life... PM me if you would like to chat! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pia Jesu Posted September 22, 2013 Share Posted September 22, 2013 Hold fast to your hope in God and 'the world to come,' Catherine Therese! To be sure, this is a difficult transition time, but know that we support and pray for you. As Anneline posted, the connections and experiences you had are "vital." They will stay with you forever and surely help you continue on the path to holiness. Having left, too, after canonical novitiate...it was helpful to keep in touch with other "formers" (in fact, we meet once a year for a Renunion! God's peace be with you! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheresaThoma Posted September 22, 2013 Share Posted September 22, 2013 Welcome back, and you definitely have my prayers. Your witness is so valuable to everyone here. It reminds all us discerners that even when we enter it is still a process and it isn't the end of the world if we discern we are called somewhere else. It may be hard but it isn't the end of the world. THANK YOU! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lil'Nun Posted September 22, 2013 Share Posted September 22, 2013 Prayers for you CT and for all who have left the convent. I am also taking the opportunity to say "Hi" back to DTA. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Comingback Posted September 23, 2013 Share Posted September 23, 2013 Praying for you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AccountDeleted Posted September 23, 2013 Share Posted September 23, 2013 (edited) Much love & prayers, yes, let us pray for one another that we abide in His Will! :) I really enjoyed what I read on your blog too, btw...very thought-provoking insights between the ordinary & the Divine... I just read your blog too CT - and it is wonderful. I loved your post on JCS and also the one about the West Wing. You have a very insightful way of writing. I used to write a lot too and it helped me so much but that has dried up recently and I can barely get out a post on phatmass these days. I think that having your studies and your blog will be a big help to you will you transition. It takes time but you are obviously doing very well and are an inspiration to us all. :) Edited September 23, 2013 by nunsense Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gabriela Posted September 23, 2013 Share Posted September 23, 2013 Renunion! That is hilarious. :P Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gabriela Posted September 23, 2013 Share Posted September 23, 2013 I had no idea there were so many people on here who had been in religious life and left. Just out of curiosity: When you meet non-Catholics, and go through the usual personal history chat stuff that people do when they're getting to know each other, do you mention that you've been in religious life? Or are you worried non-Catholics will think weird things about you if you do that? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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