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Dear Parents With Young Children In Church


ToJesusMyHeart

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My boyfriend posted this article on his FB a while ago and just from the subject line I thought to myself "Oh boy, here comes another 'I hate noisy kids' article". It was very refreshing to see that it was in fact quite the opposite.

 

Lets be real here....does anyone love listening to screaming children? No. The parents sure dont. And I guarantee that they have to put up with it much more frequently than any other attendee at mass does for an hour.

 

If there is a screaming child at mass, on a plane, at the store, or anywhere else...depending on my mood it can be more or less irritating. One thing that really helps me personally is trying to imagine myself in another's shoes. (yeah cliche, but try it sometime)

If I was that mom or dad trying to control an upset child, I would feel very stressed not only because the child was upset but also because the situation would likely upset people around me.

 

It helps me re-position my mindset to something less negative and prevents you from thinking solely of  yourself because lets be honest, we are all pretty selfish to a certain degree. I also think of my mom and what she must have gone through raising 8 kids. She is a superhero! 

 

So yeah, screaming kids will be annoying to everyone! Not just you! We need to step outside of our  "Oh this is so inconvenient for me" type of thoughts and show some sympathy and understanding.

 

I usually try to give those parents a smile or something to support them in a small way...hopefully they dont think Im a creeper.

 

God bless you, CC. And it's not creepy when you're a parent near tears and someone gives an encouraging smile. 

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Maybe it is the teacher in me, but I expect a certain amount of noise when kids are around. I think a Church filled with the cries of babies and toddlers and the noise of kids running around is a healthy Church.

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I do not think my attendance at Mass is more important than others', but I wonder if people who allow their children to disrupt what may be the only hour of silent prayerfulness many others have during the week do. Think about it: One child (or a few) vs the the other 250 or so people at Mass. Who's being selfish?

the ends justify the means then huh.  if only a few children when they become adults go to hell its ok as long as its quite for you.

Edited by havok579257
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IcePrincessKRS

God bless you, CC. And it's not creepy when you're a parent near tears and someone gives an encouraging smile. 

 

Agreed. There have been times when I know my face is red with embarrassment at how one of my kids is behaving (or misbehaving) and the kindness shown to me by other people is really appreciated.

 

ETA: I don't mean in Mass, just out in public in general.

Edited by IcePrincessKRS
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Are you actually serious? Because you are pretty much quoting my office, except they say that I'm not "really" engaged and not living together rather than ruining the environment.  They laugh after inquiring about my sex life and I won't answer and they realize I don't have one.

 

I said total stranger...as in a random lady at the grocery store making comments about birth control *in front of your kids.* I'm not claiming that parents have a special corner on the suffering market. I know that all Catholics are judged. Still, it's a different thing to have people hate on your children. I can handle animosity directed at me and my Faith, but when it extends to my children, it's a different level of suffering.

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I said total stranger...as in a random lady at the grocery store making comments about birth control *in front of your kids.* I'm not claiming that parents have a special corner on the suffering market. I know that all Catholics are judged. Still, it's a different thing to have people hate on your children. I can handle animosity directed at me and my Faith, but when it extends to my children, it's a different level of suffering.

Wow, that lady was pretty rude. It is strange how manners in public have fallen out of vogue in our society.

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though, i must say that my son is slightly enthusiastic when he kneels down (when we first get to a pew) and says "GOOD MORNING JESUS!" But guess what? I'm not going to penalize my son for (sometimes - he doesn't all the time) almost shouting a prayer. Neither am I going to penalize my children when they sing the Gloria or the Holy Holy Holy or the Alleluia, even though they are a little loud. (at least they're in tune)

 

How could anyone contemplate complaining that your son does that prayer? I would be like "That's soooo adorable!!!!" and it would end up making me pray more, because I would thank God for the adorableness of children.

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By the way, BlazeingStar, I don't mean to sound harsh or be insensitive to the flak you're getting right now. My husband and I got plenty for waiting until marriage, and it was embarrassing and humiliating.

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By the way, BlazeingStar, I don't mean to sound harsh or be insensitive to the flak you're getting right now. My husband and I got plenty for waiting until marriage, and it was embarrassing and humiliating.

 

I havent really gotten this from people in regards to my relationship. My bf and I are both waiting however I think most people these days just assume  you have sex so its never really brought up. At least thats how it seems in my situation.

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FutureCarmeliteClaire

One time my family was at Latin Mass, and my mom and dad had to carry the two youngest kids to the cry room because they were throwing screaming temper tantrums. As they are moving towards the back of the church, the young man in front of us who was sitting with his girlfriend looks at her and says, "That's gonna be us some day."

Screaming kids is something that comes with parenthood. And Mass is something that comes with being Catholic. If you have a problem with it, go to a Mass where there are no kids. They're not THAT hard to find. To those who smile and say reassuring things to parents or older siblings like myself who are carrying one screaming kid in each arm out of Mass, thank you.

I know people who've stopped coming to Mass because of nasty comments about taking their kids. "Let the little children come to me"... even if they're crying!

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I said total stranger...as in a random lady at the grocery store making comments about birth control *in front of your kids.* I'm not claiming that parents have a special corner on the suffering market. I know that all Catholics are judged. Still, it's a different thing to have people hate on your children. I can handle animosity directed at me and my Faith, but when it extends to my children, it's a different level of suffering.

 

Again, I'm glad you can magically look into my office and see me and my life.  (there are over 1,000 people here, believe me, they're strangers even if we share the same company writing a paycheck) I'm glad you also feel like your suffering is somehow deeper.  At the end of your day you have your kids.  What do single people have this day in age?  Typically no one.

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Again, I'm glad you can magically look into my office and see me and my life.  (there are over 1,000 people here, believe me, they're strangers even if we share the same company writing a paycheck) I'm glad you also feel like your suffering is somehow deeper.  At the end of your day you have your kids.  What do single people have this day in age?  Typically no one.

 

she didn't say "deeper," she said "different." 

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I havent really gotten this from people in regards to my relationship. My bf and I are both waiting however I think most people these days just assume  you have sex so its never really brought up. At least thats how it seems in my situation.

 

 

Lucky you.  Your parish probably has more than 1.8% of people between the ages of 18-35 and you probably also are able to go to pre-cana and not be compared to co-habiting couples and told that NFP is catholic ABC.  (YES, in Pre-cana, and no the dioceses dosn't give a hoot).

 

You probably don't work in a univesity setting in a town that rolled out the red carpet for Obama.  You probably don't listen to your co-workers alarm for birth control go off at the same time every day and hear her openly discuss it, as well as be subject to a lunchroom that's more about flings than food.

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she didn't say "deeper," she said "different." 

 

in which it would appear to apply that her "level" was worse than "regular" suffering

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