Nihil Obstat Posted November 20, 2013 Share Posted November 20, 2013 Nah, it is not dumb. It is probably fair to say that most people struggle with it at some point in their life. Just stay honest with yourself, and be accountable. Do not get discouraged, and never hesitate to go back to confession. Remember that confession does more than just forgiving your sins. It also offers you the grace necessary to avoid future sins. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gabriela Posted November 20, 2013 Share Posted November 20, 2013 Josh, in my experience, "forcing myself" to go to confession after every mortal sin became such an inconvenience (and an embarrassment) that it actually helped me to stop committing the sin. I would be just before it, and I'd think, "If you do that, you're going to have to confess it. Do you seriously want to go confess that again? Awww, maaaaan......" So, if I were you, I would hold myself to "staying clean" with confession ASAP. It just might help you—eventually—get rid of the sin itself. (Actually, it surely will. That's precisely what we expect from confession! But I mean the "annoying" practical aspect of it, not the grace. Anyway...) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted November 21, 2013 Share Posted November 21, 2013 (edited) I agree...For some worse sins that has worked...Mabey worse is the wrong word but in my opinion masturbation is not as bad as the other stuff I was doing....But that did work for me because I did not want to confess that stuff again because I was that ashamed....And I'm sure the grace of Christ helped me stop too....With masturbation though its different....Sorry to keep going on about this but I think its kind of fake when people act like its something you should never do....I can see if you're married and haveing sex but if you are single its something that is going to happen till old age when your testosterone is non existent....I really doubt Jesus is going to send me to hell for masturbating when I abstain from sex and don't even date....At the same time I do know how wrong lust is and how damaging it can be...So I can see why one should try to refrain from masturbation....Alright I'm done with this topic....Sorry for bringing it up....I'm 32 I don't need to be complaining about masturbation on Phatmass....lol Edited November 21, 2013 by Guest Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted November 25, 2013 Share Posted November 25, 2013 Mass was good yesterday....Glad to be going every week....Didn't receive...Still need to go to Confession.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seven77 Posted November 25, 2013 Share Posted November 25, 2013 (edited) Peace brother. Thanks for your witness of perseverance. It's really encouraging. Now, please don't take what I'm about to say in the wrong way… not judging you… since you shared about it, I don't think you know exactly why that sin you mentioned is wrong. There a lot of single men who do not do that... For example, I am 36 and I don't, and then consecrated religious and priests who are really living their vows do not do that either. But anyway, why is it wrong? I like what the catechism has to say about it: Offenses against chastity 2351 Lust is disordered desire for or inordinate enjoyment of sexual pleasure. Sexual pleasure is morally disordered when sought for itself, isolated from its procreative and unitive purposes. 2352 By masturbation is to be understood the deliberate stimulation of the genital organs in order to derive sexual pleasure. "Both the Magisterium of the Church, in the course of a constant tradition, and the moral sense of the faithful have been in no doubt and have firmly maintained that masturbation is an intrinsically and gravely disordered action."137 "The deliberate use of the sexual faculty, for whatever reason, outside of marriage is essentially contrary to its purpose." For here sexual pleasure is sought outside of "the sexual relationship which is demanded by the moral order and in which the total meaning of mutual self-giving and human procreation in the context of true love is achieved."138 To form an equitable judgment about the subjects' moral responsibility and to guide pastoral action, one must take into account the affective immaturity, force of acquired habit, conditions of anxiety, or other psychological or social factors that lessen or even extenuate moral culpability. You know what I think? I think that you are capable of more than you imagine. You need to give yourself more credit. If you can refrain from alcohol you have what it takes to refrain from this to. I believe in you. Just want to let you know. I'm praying for you to do the right thing and ask a priest in confession for his guidance… yeah, it could take a lot of courage though… just want it and Jesus will help you like he's helping you now. Edited November 25, 2013 by Seven77 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gabriela Posted November 25, 2013 Share Posted November 25, 2013 Confession can also help you come to a deeper appreciation of the genuine severity of this sin. :) Will pray for you, Josh. God come to your assistance as you persevere... :console: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted November 26, 2013 Share Posted November 26, 2013 (edited) Seven I will reply to what you said soon....Thanks and Godbless bro... Edited November 26, 2013 by Guest Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted November 28, 2013 Share Posted November 28, 2013 (edited) Seven I'm attempting to really fight this...I started yesterday and I find it interesting its at the same time I'm on the step in aa which is eliminating character defects....So this is pry the Holy Spirit at work....Honestly I just sorta gave up to lust and masturbation and thought that it was ok to do because I'm not out there having sex like everyone else and I have a sex drive God gave me that is very stromg most of the time...I always knew it was a mortal sin but I thought I pry didn't meet all the condtions because after all I'm addicted to it....And its very easy to justify in my mind....I can't even begin to tell you how easy it is to justify....But at the end of thhe day I'm using lust and fantasy (never used porn) when I masturbate and I know that it is a sin and an offence to God....So I have began to try to stop doing this...This will be more difficult then alcohol but with God all things are possible....Alright I'm done talking about masturbation in this thread....Good talk Edited November 28, 2013 by Guest Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted December 2, 2013 Share Posted December 2, 2013 Went to confession on Thanksgiving....Went to Mass yesterday...It was a Childrens Mass....Was cool never been to one before....Somehow manged to stay out of mortal sin since Confession and took Communion.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Era Might Posted December 2, 2013 Share Posted December 2, 2013 (edited) I agree...For some worse sins that has worked...Mabey worse is the wrong word but in my opinion masturbation is not as bad as the other stuff I was doing....But that did work for me because I did not want to confess that stuff again because I was that ashamed....And I'm sure the grace of Christ helped me stop too....With masturbation though its different....Sorry to keep going on about this but I think its kind of fake when people act like its something you should never do....I can see if you're married and haveing sex but if you are single its something that is going to happen till old age when your testosterone is non existent....I really doubt Jesus is going to send me to hell for masturbating when I abstain from sex and don't even date....At the same time I do know how wrong lust is and how damaging it can be...So I can see why one should try to refrain from masturbation....Alright I'm done with this topic....Sorry for bringing it up....I'm 32 I don't need to be complaining about masturbation on Phatmass....lol I agree that it's not something that ever "goes away," but in my experience, people who are still chasing tail at 60 years old are man-children who never really grew up. I think the perpetual problem of lust is more about maturity than biology. There are times in life where someone just has to say, "This is the kind of life I am going to live" or "This is who I am, my personality, my inclinations, etc., and I am going to build something positive out of this." Instead, we often just go through life with no clue who we are and never really making any kind of conscious way of life. Once you start thinking about what kind of man you want to be in 10, 20 years, then "testosterone" takes on a different character. Either you integrate it into a larger plan to get married, or you integrate it into a larger plan to be celibate. But without that kind of long-term thinking, everything just seems like uncontrollable passion. I'm not saying that kind of long-term thinking is easy...if it were easy we would all be doing it. It's not just lust, those kinds of mature decisions happen in other contexts...for example, a young mother or father decides that they can't be living the same life they were living when they were 20. That's a mature step, and not everyone makes it. And they wake up one day and they're 50 wondering why they're not happy. Edited December 2, 2013 by Era Might Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted December 2, 2013 Share Posted December 2, 2013 Great post Era and I agree with it....I was talking only about masturbation...Just saying as long as you have a sex drive and aren't having sex its going to be a tough sin to abstain from for most men... (women too pry) Although its possible with the Grace of God.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnneLine Posted December 2, 2013 Share Posted December 2, 2013 Absolutely also with women. BUT... and here's the thing to keep in mind... There are probably a few things all playing together on the same field here. Yeah, it's a powerful drive, and yeah, a lot of people in our world say it's normal just do it. BUT... we profess that we are more than just instinct, just animal drives, we can add some choice to the mix. And this is true. BUT along the way, we also get into habits, some good, some bad. And that can alter the amount of choice going on. Taking it to a different but related kind of sin, it's easy to get into the habit of overeating. Heck, we gotta eat, and it makes sense that we enjoy our food. BUT there is a certain amount of restraint that I need to add to the mix or I'd be 300 lbs.! (And trust me, it would be EASY to get there... and I'd enjoy getting there!) But it means that I need to really make sure I am taking care of me in MANY parts of my life if I want to get a control of this thing. Yeah, I need to be firm with myself that I'm only going to eat certain things in certain places. But you know, THAT is the easy part. The tough part is when I let myself get too tired/hungry/grumpy/overwhelmed.... and then I am tempted to say,, oh heck, just this once, it wouldn't' hurt... and suddenly I am eating a half a chicken and a half a cake... and it tastes fantastic... until I realize what I have done. So... it's really about working a plan that takes into account what my personal triggers and temptations are... and that takes good care of me BEFORE I get to the point of wanting to eat the planet. And realizing that there undoubtedly will be days when I muck up. And need to ask forgiveness. And go back to working my plan. What I am trying to say is that there are elements of habit, and poor previous choices that mitigate but don't excuse wrongdoing. But you can overcome this if you work at it. It will take time. It will take courage. It will take humility..... And I think you can do it! And yes, I've had to deal with BOTH of those sets of sins, and there really REALLY are parallels. Proud of you and praying for you, Josh..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted December 10, 2013 Share Posted December 10, 2013 Missed Mass last weekend... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnneLine Posted December 10, 2013 Share Posted December 10, 2013 Well.... you are honest about it, and that is a good thing. Time to make plans so you do it differently next weekend, Josh. Presuming that is what you want to do.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted December 17, 2013 Share Posted December 17, 2013 Made it to Mass yesterday by the Grace of God...Honestly did not feel like going....And I thought about having to post in this thread that I didn't make it again for the second time in a row...And I didn't want to do that so I went...Phatmass saved the day...Didn't take Comuunion...Picked up a free Catholic Calender on the way out so I can keep track of Holy Days of Obligations so I don't rack up additional mortal sins for missing them... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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