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Seminarians Say The Darndest Things!


BigJon16

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Seminarian:  So have you ever given thought to whether or not you have a vocation to the religious life?

Male Friend:  Uh, I have a girlfriend.

Seminarian:  Still, you should discern!

Male Friend:  I don't think she'd have given you my phone number if she knew this is what we were going to talk about...

 

---

 

"Sometimes I don't get my Superiors, you know [BG]?  They wouldn't let me go to [friend's] wedding twenty minutes from the seminary, but they'll let me take one of the community cars half the state away to another friend's wedding?"

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When a seminarian said you were being vain for wearing a bright yellow dress to church. He makes you put on a server alb.... 

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This past weekend a few of us went on a pilgrimage to the Shrine of North American Martyrs in upstate New York for the feast day of St. Isaac Jouges and his companions, who were Jesuits martyred by the Mohawks in the early days of the colonial Northeast. 

 

As we are walking up this tall hill that the martyrs were made to run up on their way to the "torture post" while being beaten and stoned  one seminarian complained about being really tired. 

 

"How could those guys have done this day in and day out, while being tortured? They must've been exhausted." 

 

And without missing a beat, our spiritual director replied, "Yeah, those Jesuits must have been dead tired..."

 

 

 

 

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How about seminary professors?

 

"The Hebrew word for 'eagle' can also be translated 'buzzard:' kind of gives it a different emotional feeling." ~My Pentateuch Professor on the song "On Eagles' Wings"

 

Discussing the Big Bang/Big Crunch in Theological Anthropology: "You can go to your bunker with your rationed canned goods, but if the universe collapses you'll still be destroyed."

 

The words in Hebrew for "dove" and "pigeon" are exactly the same: "yonah". I once edited an Israeli Christian website that had a "Dove of Peace" t-shirt. Guess what the Israeli web designer named the page in the URL.

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Hope this isn't too off-topic:

 

I studied in a midrasha (like a yeshiva, but for women) in Jerusalem. We had one really hilarious teacher. One day he was explaining "neder"—the Jewish version of a vow, only in miniature—to the women in the class. He mentioned that he once had an American student whose mother would only let her go to study at a midrasha in Israel if she promised not to cross the Green Line. Now, all of us knew that you cross the Green Line about five times just riding in a taxi from the airport to Jerusalem. When the girl got to the midrasha and found that out, she was horrified, because she'd already broken the "neder" she'd made to her mother. One of the women in the class was confused.

 

Woman: "Wait, Rabbi, where did she think the Green Line ran?"

 

Rabbi: "I don't know! Somewhere through the middle of CNN!"

Edited by curiousing
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BigJon: It is really wonderful to see a young man enjoying seminary so much. True joy in a vocation... God bless you!  :) 

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ChristinaTherese

This past weekend a few of us went on a pilgrimage to the Shrine of North American Martyrs in upstate New York for the feast day of St. Isaac Jouges and his companions, who were Jesuits martyred by the Mohawks in the early days of the colonial Northeast. 

 

As we are walking up this tall hill that the martyrs were made to run up on their way to the "torture post" while being beaten and stoned  one seminarian complained about being really tired. 

 

"How could those guys have done this day in and day out, while being tortured? They must've been exhausted." 

 

And without missing a beat, our spiritual director replied, "Yeah, those Jesuits must have been dead tired..."

My brother was there on Saturday. I wonder if you saw him....

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BigJon: It is really wonderful to see a young man enjoying seminary so much. True joy in a vocation... God bless you!  :) 

 

Thank you! :)

 

 

My brother was there on Saturday. I wonder if you saw him....

 

 

There were quite a few people there for the sites big feast day.. 

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ChristinaTherese

There were quite a few people there for the sites big feast day.. 

I thought that might be the case. ;)

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  • 2 weeks later...

"At first, Mondays weren't so bad. 'At least it's not high school anymore' I would say to myself. But then one Monday morning rolled around, bright and early at 5:45 AM, and I realized 'crap, it's Monday. Can I just go back to bed?' We should have Monday mornings off, to sleep in and recuperate from a long Sunday of worshipping and stuff, you know?" 

 

 

"Preach it, brother." replies The Monsignor. 

 

 

 

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"Wow, dinner looks pretty good tonight. I wonder why?" 

 

"It's because Himself is coming."

 

The food is always much better when we have guests.. 

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