beatitude Posted September 4, 2013 Share Posted September 4, 2013 Given some of the things that have been said here, I feel maybe this is an appropriate time to express some hesitations about all of the "Countdown" threads. On the one hand, I can see how it's an exciting time and people want to share it. On the other hand, it sometimes (not always—please don't anyone take it personally) seems to me like attention-seeking. Shouldn't the time before entry be one of intense prayer and gradual separation from the world? Then again, maybe a Countdown thread gives people a chance to "say goodbye to the world". I don't know, but I have conflicting feelings about those threads. Does anyone have thoughts? I think there is a lot of difference between sharing your own journey (in which you get to control how much detail you give) and sharing somebody else's, especially when you're in no position to know the details and it wouldn't be your place to give them even if you did... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gabriela Posted September 4, 2013 Share Posted September 4, 2013 I think there is a lot of difference between sharing your own journey (in which you get to control how much detail you give) and sharing somebody else's, especially when you're in no position to know the details and it wouldn't be your place to give them even if you did... Yeah, I absolutely agree with that. I wasn't meaning to imply that they're the same. Nunsense's post about what she's learned about divulging one's own personal journey to too great an extent is what made me think of it. But it's something I've been scratching my head over for a while now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EmilyAnn Posted September 4, 2013 Share Posted September 4, 2013 I think this thread is a good example of showing due discretion when discussing communities that one is discerning with. It is very easy to feel like a community is "yours". While feeling a connection and an affection for a community one hopes to enter is natural, one must also take care to respect the privacy of the community. Religious life is a very private thing, and communities are generous with their discerners but in that sharing the discerner is trusted to keep the privacy of the community. Sharing details that are not readily available to the public, especially in such a public way as this, violates that trust. I also agree with what others have said that it is entirely inappropriate to speculate about someone's discernment choices. No-one not involved has any idea about the internal state of anyone involved, and all speculating in this way does is perpetuate the stigma that those who leave are doing something wrong. The countdown threads are a little different, in my opinion. Of course it is possible to over-share, but I have had friends here who have entered and countdown threads allowed for those here to share their joy, their sorrow and their goodbyes. We were unlikely to ever hear from these individuals again, yet they were very much cared for here, so having that goodbye was (I think anyway) very helpful for all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DameAgnes Posted September 4, 2013 Share Posted September 4, 2013 Given some of the things that have been said here, I feel maybe this is an appropriate time to express some hesitations about all of the "Countdown" threads. On the one hand, I can see how it's an exciting time and people want to share it. On the other hand, it sometimes (not always—please don't anyone take it personally) seems to me like attention-seeking. Shouldn't the time before entry be one of intense prayer and gradual separation from the world? Then again, maybe a Countdown thread gives people a chance to "say goodbye to the world". I don't know, but I have conflicting feelings about those threads. Does anyone have thoughts? I really hate the countdown threads. I too understand that people get excited, but aside from being tedious, they seem really noisy and uncollected and more to the point, if the person then "discerns out" (or is sent back) it's an invitation to perceive it all as a "big fail" instead of a simple episode in a life that is trying to conform itself to the will of God. I really wish the countdowns would end or at least be CURTAILED a bit, so they don't go on and on. A two week countdown seems like more than enough. these 100 day countdowns are ridiculous. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maximillion Posted September 5, 2013 Share Posted September 5, 2013 It depends on the individual, taking in what nunsense shared, but also respecting that some people actively want to share their countdown and get allot from it, even if it is 300 days long! Having said that, I will also re-iterate what I said earlier in the thread, it is easy for me to start to imagine I have a personal connection with people from reading their posts, and while it is true this is a connection, it is also easy to let myself go on to act as if I somehow have a right to all and every scrap of info I can get about them. Curiosity can be used by the evil one just as much as anything else, and I would posit that to have very strong feelings about what an individual has/is doing in relation to their vocation may indicate an over-identification and the need to pull back a little and put in some (prayerful) distance....? I do enjoy the countdown threads, and I rejoice with those who are rejoicing and support them prayerfully in their difficulties, but this is their vocation, not mine, and how they 'do' it is up to them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nikita92 Posted September 5, 2013 Author Share Posted September 5, 2013 Thank you. I wasn't thinking of identity protection.(my bad.. Especially in my line of employment) I apologize. Of course she is still very much in the process of discerning what his will is for her.! Hence being informed of entering a "New Community"! The use of my terminology was incorrect and thus I apologize for that as well! Of course I will continue to pray that she finds her joy and His will for her amongst other things. Beatitude... No worries! I am not a religious groupie nor have a unhealthy fixation on sister whatsoever. Some communities offer secular people to "adopt a sister" or become a regular benefactor to help them with paying for health insurance,dental things like that. I assure you, that I have been in communication with this particular sister (for over a year) and have sent her small financial donations and a card or two on special occasions such as Easter and Christmas with a small memento gift for her 1st profession anniversary etc. Nothing more than that. it's all above board and within the community's stipulations etc. I completely understand that this sister was in no way responsible to even send a acknowledgement of anything in return. (But she always did without fail) However, I am allowed to feel sad at no longer having correspondence with her. Not going to be in attendance (in the future) to share her joy if she would have made it to solemn vows with this particular community of which she entered into so many years ago. I am allowed to wonder if she ever received the personalized scapular I had made (by another member on here) for her impending 2nd profession anniversary. Her sisters read the card I sent her, and acknowledge the small donation I sent as well...yet my small gift was meant for her..,and I'm left wondering (because they didn't mention it )where the beautiful embroidery gift ended up at. At least, almost a month later to the day, I received the information (of which I am grateful for) that sister is now elsewhere. Cmariadiaz- "wouldnt you want to say goodbye to those who supported you in prayer while you discerned?" ill take this statement of yours, and apply it to one of the resaon's for my sadness. iI would have been nice to have heard "goodbye" from sister. (Again, she doesn't owe me -for lack of a better word anything) Of course I pray for her! I acknowledge the difficulties she might have had in order to discern this decision for herself. As far as countdown threads...I'm happy for those that are on their way to the monastery and convent... But I just learned my lesson. Emmaberry is a good example from here on out...we went on her journey with her...she is in, from here on out, whatever may happen (stays in, leaves) is none of our business. Perhaps people should no longer post any information from this point on as well. Thank you all for you comments and perspectives! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cmaD2006 Posted September 5, 2013 Share Posted September 5, 2013 Nikita92 .. it *is* sad when someone leaves a community. It is a grieving -- because it also reminds us (in a way) that the time on this earth is short. You never know -- you may have the blessing of seeing the sister that you prayed for and supported in the future. It *can* happen. I was connected by way of internet to someone who entered religious life with me and left a few months after I did, and I never expected to connect with her again. We're very good friends now, and it was really God's actions that brought us together. Blessings and peace to you! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nikita92 Posted September 5, 2013 Author Share Posted September 5, 2013 Thank You for understanding Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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