Obedience To Confessor Or Confession/mortal Sin

[Poorly Catechized Convert]

I think I should start by saying that I'm scrupulous, which I guess wouldn't be a surprise considering my previous posts. When I decided to trust a priest enough to be my confessor, I told him about my scrupulosity. After a while he set the confession interval to three weeks. I wanted out of this at first (I tried and my attempts lead me into sin), but stuck with it out of obedience (someone convinced me that this was the best thing to do). At the same time I felt that I was in mortal sin and so I abstained from the Eucharist for four weeks (I was unable to got o confession at three). After my last confession, I'm worried about it's validity (which means I may have received the Eucharist in mortal sin) and I feel that I committed a mortal sin again. I know the advice is that if you're not sure, receive the Eucharist, but it's not that easy. In my case I had decided that the sin was grave matter months ago. Maybe people would disagree, but I could give very specific reasons as to why I think that. It's not something the Church has much information on. As a result, I had to use other topics to make my decision. But that's irrelevant because I have been labeling this as a mortal sin for a while. The only thing is that I can never tell if full consent of the will and full knowledge were present. When you combine this with my fears about my last confession, and some other things I did (one might be scruples, but I'm struggling to sort through the situation.), how am I supposed to receive the Eucharist. At the same time I don't have enough certainty to go to confession. I fear that if I'm wrong, then I'll be in mortal sin due to disobedience to my confessor. This means that I'll have to go another three weeks without the Eucharist and I can't stand that. I want to receive communion; I'm tired of abstaining. I know I should talk to my confessor about these things, but I am too embarrassed to do so. Not without the seal of confession. I don't even tell my closest family members about some of this; there's no way I'd tell him outside of the confessional. I'm too scared and not the most trusting person. So what am I to do? Should I go to confession and see what I'm told? Or would it be better for me to wait until the time is up? I'll add that next week I'll be at a different parish and if I were to confess it would likely be with that priest. I could still confess with my current confessor, but I'm embarrassed by some of my sins.

 

Thanks.

Edited September 2, 2013 by Poorly Catechized Convert

[Theoketos]

. I know I should talk to my confessor about these things

Thanks.

 

You know what you should do. 

 

Further, because I have been in similar places...

 

Try the litany of humility. It is effective against over zealous scruples. 

 

 

 

O Jesus! meek and humble of heart, Hear me.
From the desire of being esteemed,
Deliver me, Jesus.

From the desire of being loved...
From the desire of being extolled ...
From the desire of being honored ...
From the desire of being praised ...
From the desire of being preferred to others...
From the desire of being consulted ...
From the desire of being approved ...
From the fear of being humiliated ...
From the fear of being despised...
From the fear of suffering rebukes ...
From the fear of being calumniated ...
From the fear of being forgotten ...
From the fear of being ridiculed ...
From the fear of being wronged ...
From the fear of being suspected ...

That others may be loved more than I,
Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.

That others may be esteemed more than I ...
That, in the opinion of the world,
others may increase and I may decrease ...
That others may be chosen and I set aside ...
That others may be praised and I unnoticed ...
That others may be preferred to me in everything...
That others may become holier than I, provided that I may become as holy as I should…

 

Further this post from Jimmy Akin might be relevant, I cannot know though for sure. 

 

http://jimmyakin.com/2010/10/youthful-passions.html

[Alison]

I applaud you for obeying and going once every three weeks! God will not punish you for sincerely acting out of obedience, anything would be on the soul of your confessor. I would recommend telling him that you almost perpetually abstain from the Eucharist out of fear of committing a sacrilege and see what he tells you. Be assured that GOD LOVES YOU with an infinite tenderness, and I will pray for you 🙏

[BarbTherese]

VERY WELL SAID ! 🏆