The Dilbertless Chronicles: Our Youth Ministry Team

[ContemporaryCaflicCrusader]

Episode 1.  Based on real events and stuff.  

 

Pointy Haired Priest:  "Now that we've started with a prayer I would like us all to introduce ourselves.  Starting at this end of the table."

 

Carol: "Well that's me I guess.  Teehee.  Hi I've worked at this parish for 20 years as the as the Religious Ed director and never once has anybody listened to me who had something to lose."  

 

PHP:  "Very nice.  Well I think you should all know me by now I was sent here for my youth ministry skills by the bishop, or as I have put it in the past my lack of not being bad with teens.  I am also known for making sure we have a team like I have everywhere in the state as apposed as to have a head youth minister with a supporting cast.  Ted tell us about yourself we are excited to have you here with us this evening."

 

Asok (Me) in a whisper to Alice next to me "I was told He was supossed to be in his 30s." 

 

Ted.  "Of course so glad to be here with you all.  Working with the youth has always been such a great experience for everybody.  I have been in youth ministering since 1980 and simply refuse to believe anyone could find me less useful here on this committee."

 

PHP:  "Very nice.  That's why I got you here.  You see we lost our Mrs. Markether and Mr. Markethim from the marketing end of things here so that way we won't have anyway to actually keep the teens engaged in something other than smooching or texting.  Haha.  Alice." 

 

Alice:  "Thanks ya I am a Christendom Grad who teaches at a Catholic School.  I'd rather be anywhere but here really.  But my conscience keeps me here even though you thouroughly can't seem to stand me you always ask for me back when I leave.  Hehe."

 

Asok:  Hi I am Asok, I am 23---

 

Ted:  You're whaaat?  You don't look neeearly that old." 

 

Asok:  Well yes haha, this past fall actually I was speaking with a cashier in town who asked me If I was on the Elbonian High JV soccer team.  

 

Everyone laughs

 

Asok:  I was Catholic Homeschooled and groomed to be the poster boy for Catholicism in this area kind of.  

 

Topper (This Topper is a female) :  Hi I was in the first YM in the state.  We went to the bishops house directly and did XLT then played twister after.  As I said to Asok at the Elbonian Christian Music Fest yesterday you are not qualified as I am.  I have the answers and deserve the funding and attention to get this done as the leader."

 

Asok:  "Isn't Feudalism Kinda outta date?"

 

Topper: "Yes it is but it will work because I said so and if it doesn't it only messes up a generation of teens for 6 high schools worth of Catholic

kids." 

 

Ringtone walk the line comes from the pocket of Alice.  

 

Alice "Gotta go I am in a car accident.  

 

Asok "Wait aren't you right here?"  

 

Alice "Don't some things just mystify you too?"

 

Asok: Look around the room like huh?

 

Topper. So Father what do you think of the 2nd collection this weekend being for YM?"

 

PHP  "Sorry but that has been put aside for the roof repairs so it doesn't cave in on us this winter." All right let's introduce Loud Howard.  

 

Loud Howard:  "HI I AM TOPPER'S HUSBAND.  I WILL DO HER BIDDING.  

 

Topper:  "All right let's talk about what I am doing this year..."

 

Over 2 hours later its 9:05 PM.  

 

Asok: I am so sorry but I have to leave and go to bed.  

 

Loud Howard.  WHAT DO YOU TURN INTO A PUMPKIN AFTER A CERTAIN HOUR OR SOMETHING?  

 

Asok:  No I turn into something that makes Batman villains scream for somebody else's mother.  

 

Loud Howard:  NIGHTY NIGHT.  

 

Roll credits.  

 

 

[arfink]

IDGI.

[AnneLine]

Unfortunately IDeeeewGI.

 

CCC sounds like you have been playing in the parish politics pool again, haven't you... and maybe trying to get a YM or YA group started?   Oh boy...

Edited August 14, 2013 by AnneLine

[ContemporaryCaflicCrusader]

Yes...  The summer is over and year 5 commences in youth ministry and two very key heavyweights on the committee left the parish.  I have been in and among up to 4 committees in this parish as far back as 2005 and have finally started to reach my snapping point.  I have told leaving the committee is not an option and where I get paid as Sexton (basically to sweep and take out the trash) I kinda feel obliged to do as told by the real big heavyweights.