Telling One's Parents...

[savvy]

 

I wil keep your intentions in my prayers. In my case, my family is supportive, but it's still a wait and see approach with them. They are not thinking long term. It's more like, "you think she will survive." One of the reasons why they are not telling anybody as yet.

 

What is strange is that the first person who came around to the idea, was my brother, who is a lapsed Catholic. He was basically talking me into it, when there were times when I would back out. 

 

 

 

Edited August 16, 2013 by savvy

[Ima Lurker]

Perhaps you could take consolation from Our Lord directly:
 

[31] Fear not therefore: better are you than many sparrows. [32] Every one therefore that shall confess me before men, I will also confess him before my Father who is in heaven. [33] But he that shall deny me before men, I will also deny him before my Father who is in heaven. [34] Do not think that I came to send peace upon earth: I came not to send peace, but the sword. [35] For I came to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.

[36] And a man' s enemies shall be they of his own household. [37] He that loveth father or mother more than me, is not worthy of me; and he that loveth son or daughter more than me, is not worthy of me. [38] And he that taketh not up his cross, and followeth me, is not worthy of me. [39] He that findeth his life, shall lose it: and he that shall lose his life for me, shall find it. [40] He that receiveth you, receiveth me: and he that receiveth me, receiveth him that sent me.

I am not saying by quoting this that you love God less but sometimes letting go is the surest way of getting your loved ones  back. 

Sorry for the weird format but I copied and pasted from the online Douey Rheims, Matthew 10: 31-40

When I first discerned, my parents were skeptical. My friends were hostile. I clung to these verses and found comfort in them. 

[MarysLittleFlower]

On 8/14/2013 9:18:58, Benedictus said:

Well my father is rather anti-Catholic and my mother is quite vague about her opinions on the Church, but when I became an Anglican Seminarian they seemed to be more bemused than anything else and, though of course they know I'm now a Catholic, I suspect that they will be similar to your parents in not understanding why anyone would want to do it.

 

I'm similarly lucky to you, Benedictus, in that I have spoken at length to my brother about it and, while he too is an atheist, he is reasonably supportive. My other brother, however, will be livid when he hears. He describes himself as an 'atheist Anglican', which probably tells you all you need to know...

It seem your brother maybe more of the challenge! I think we will always be asked 'why' by virtually everyone, either purely out of a desire to hear the our vocation story or simply to try and make sense of it. If I'm honest I didn't really need my siblings approval or understanding, although I hoped for it. I sort of guessed they'd ask questions but, on the whole, be fairly relaxed about it. They said they thought it would be hypocritical to try and put me off it because they don't know enough about it and also because they wouldn't like their choices to be disregarded or have some sort of emotional veto passed on them about who to marry, what jobs to do or how to run their lives from me.  .

I've come to realise, and it's taken a while, that family members often have mixed reasons why they support or oppose things. In my case I think my family have concerns about my welfare and happiness. But I also think families worry about how a religious vocation will impact their futures. My mother lives alone since my father past away and I'm the only one who lives locally. As I never married my siblings went on autopilot and left many things to me to sort out  -  I guess they worry they will need to do more if I make this choice. I also think my mother worries about isolation and advancing age, I guess she always thought I'd be available somehow. The feelings of guilt on these pointers are strong and I think this has impacted my discernment. It definitely means I have to be more sure before 'making a leap' and I also feel less inclined to join an institute that would take me overseas or live a life where I couldn't be more able to contact and help solve urgent family concerns.  Of course this isn't ideal, as I'm placing my own terms into the equation, and there's always the fear this limits what God could really be asking. 

When I attended a discernment group fairly regularly the issue of family and siblings issues come up a lot. I think when people had larger families with more children in the past it was easier to follow a religious vocation. It seems that the need to care for parents, manage family affairs, manage expectations, respond to negative assertions and so on can place delays for some people entering religious life, if they ever make it in at all.

Ultimately though I've come to think you have to do what you feel is right and will make you happy. Religious life should be a response to love and cultivate true happiness. If family members really want us to be happy, and think we are sincere, then thy should give us the chance. If they are atheist then they'd likely support the view that you should be happy in the one life you know you've got. If Jesus brings that fullness of life, love and joy to someone then, from a secular standpoint, what else is their to achieve?

Old thread ... But I just found this and its my concern too. I want to do God's Will but wondering if my family situation limits where He would call me. I found this thread helpful so I thought I'd bring it back

[Spem in alium]

5 hours ago, MarysLittleFlower said:

Old thread ... But I just found this and its my concern too. I want to do God's Will but wondering if my family situation limits where He would call me. I found this thread helpful so I thought I'd bring it back

I don't think there are any limits to God's call! He can call us at anytime to anything; we just have to be ready to meet Him.
Of course, that does not mean it is without struggle, but what I try to remember is that if it is God's plan, and if God is calling me to something, everything will be OK even if it doesn't turn out the way I'd expected or hoped. Trust that He's got this.