OnlySunshine Posted August 8, 2013 Share Posted August 8, 2013 First off, I know some of you are wondering why I came back when I said I wasn't going to post anymore. I have a question that's been bugging me. I fully intend to seriously cut down on my posting and active participation here because I have other things on my plate. My question is what is the first step to officially discerning Consecrated Virginity? I don't know if I should get in touch with my Bishop or if I should spend some more time discerning personally. I cannot find a spiritual director. I know I should have one but I've asked everyone I can think of (within reason). My pastor is too busy and the Sisters in my parish do not provide spiritual direction. I've asked priests at other parishes, contacted the Vocation Director for our diocese, and contacted other religious communities. I even went so far as to contact the retreat center because someone told me they usually have an SD on staff. They didn't have one nor did they have a list of available SDs. Spiritual direction is a real problem in my diocese. I'm kind of lost as to what to do. I've basically ruled out religious life because I don't feel called to it anymore after being turned away by multiple communities. There are no more communities that I feel attracted to contact. However, I can't shake the belief that God is calling me to Himself - to serve Him alone. I know I could serve Him in marriage but I feel a great attraction and desire for consecrated life that I wouldn't get in a human marriage. I also believe that no one could fulfill me like Jesus can. After reading some literature, I really started to feel a great attraction to Consecrated Virginity. That was several months ago. I thought I'd mull over it for a while and see if it stuck and it hasn't disappeared. I contacted the USACV for information last night and asked if they could direct me to someone like Therese Ivers or Susan Safford in the diocese of Sioux Falls. The Sisters in my parish are VERY familiar with the Sioux Falls Diocese because of the Totus Tuus Vocation Camp and both of them recommended I contact the diocese for more information. I would appreciate any help. I would also like to keep away from debate in this thread - especially in regards to the Bride of Christ thread. I don't mean to be nasty or anything but it isn't helpful to me right now. Also, I am aware of the fact that religious life is a totally separate vocation from Consecrated Virginity and the vocation to be a CV must be discerned on its own. I am not using the vocation of a CV as a "fall back vocation." I am looking into it on the advice of people who know me well - including religious Sisters who are VERY familiar with the vocation. I appreciate your cooperation. :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sponsa-Christi Posted August 8, 2013 Share Posted August 8, 2013 There really is no official first step to becoming a consecrated virgin. If a woman is reasonably sure that this is what she is called to do, then she should contact her bishop. Or depending on how difficult it is to reach her bishop personally, she might also try getting in touch with the Vicar for Religious or the Vocations Director for her diocese. However, not all dioceses will be able to offer much in terms of formation or spiritual help in discernment. I'm sure the USACV could put you in touch with some consecrated virgins, though. But anything the USACV could do for you would be for your own personal benefit and discernment, rather than a part of an official process. Ultimately, though, I think you're the only one who can determine whether you need more time for private discernment or whether you're ready to take a more formal step forward. I hope this helps? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OnlySunshine Posted August 8, 2013 Author Share Posted August 8, 2013 (edited) There really is no official first step to becoming a consecrated virgin. If a woman is reasonably sure that this is what she is called to do, then she should contact her bishop. Or depending on how difficult it is to reach her bishop personally, she might also try getting in touch with the Vicar for Religious or the Vocations Director for her diocese. However, not all dioceses will be able to offer much in terms of formation or spiritual help in discernment. I'm sure the USACV could put you in touch with some consecrated virgins, though. But anything the USACV could do for you would be for your own personal benefit and discernment, rather than a part of an official process. Ultimately, though, I think you're the only one who can determine whether you need more time for private discernment or whether you're ready to take a more formal step forward. I hope this helps? It does! Thank you for commenting. I am glad to know that we have some Consecrated Virgins on this forum who can answer questions. My Bishop is a WONDERFUL man and I'm sure he'd be willing to help me. I think it might be a good idea (since I can't seem to meet with my pastor since he either forgets or is busy) for me to meet with him to get a feel as to whether or not he's open to the idea of Consecrated Virginity. After all, if he's the one that's ultimately going to do the Consecration, I need to have a good relationship with him. I'm probably not going to be ready, if this is my vocation, for a few years since I am still finishing up my Bachelor's degree so I'm not financially stable yet (which I'm aware is a requirement). I really wish the religious in my parish did spiritual direction but I was told, flat out, they did not. They are able to meet with me about vocations but cannot provide formal direction. I'm not sure of the reason but I'm guessing it's not one of their apostolates? I'm trying to figure out how to go about contacting the CVs in Sioux Falls. On that webpage I linked to, there is no contact information for the CVs and I'm not sure if the diocese would provide it to me. As far as I'm aware, there are 2 CVs in my diocese - but again, same problem. :unsure: Edited August 8, 2013 by MaterMisericordiae Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
abrideofChrist Posted August 8, 2013 Share Posted August 8, 2013 Agree with what Sponsa Christi said. There is no "official" way of beginning the process. Most CVs started by talking with a pastor or a priest who connected them to the bishop or to the vicar for religious. At some point, the informal discussions will either end naturally or they will bump up into official ones when a person is approved for a formation program. The virgin will go through formation as the diocese designs it. Some dioceses will have a formation director especially appointed for this task. Others leave it to the Vicar for Religious. Some Bishops will personally do the formation. Sometimes a team of CVs are asked to do formation sessions. It all depends on where you live. The formal formation process will be different for each candidate depending on what formation they already have. For example, someone who has learned to pray the Liturgy of the Hours will not be taught that in formation. Only one CV lives in the Sioux Falls Diocese. She is Therese Ivers and can be contacted via the contact form at www.DoIHaveAVocation.com. Susan Safford lives in the adjoining Diocese of Rapid City. She can be contacted through the Diocesan chancery (they will give you her work phone extension there if you call their website is rapidcitydiocese.org). The other, Kerry, is the secretary to Arcbishop Chaput. She may be contacted at her Archdiocesan chancery (website archphila.org) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sponsa-Christi Posted August 8, 2013 Share Posted August 8, 2013 (edited) Mater Misericordiae, Just so you know, you can also PM me if you want (but only if you want--no pressure!) I have a lot of responsibilities in real life right now, so it's hard for me to keep up long correspondences with people, but I do my best to answer when discerners have specific questions about being a CV. Also, if you wanted to get in touch with Therese Ivers, maybe you could try contacting her through her blog? Another young CV you could try talking to blogs over here: http://bylovealone.wordpress.com/ Edited August 8, 2013 by Sponsa-Christi Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OnlySunshine Posted August 9, 2013 Author Share Posted August 9, 2013 Agree with what Sponsa Christi said. There is no "official" way of beginning the process. Most CVs started by talking with a pastor or a priest who connected them to the bishop or to the vicar for religious. At some point, the informal discussions will either end naturally or they will bump up into official ones when a person is approved for a formation program. The virgin will go through formation as the diocese designs it. Some dioceses will have a formation director especially appointed for this task. Others leave it to the Vicar for Religious. Some Bishops will personally do the formation. Sometimes a team of CVs are asked to do formation sessions. It all depends on where you live. The formal formation process will be different for each candidate depending on what formation they already have. For example, someone who has learned to pray the Liturgy of the Hours will not be taught that in formation. Only one CV lives in the Sioux Falls Diocese. She is Therese Ivers and can be contacted via the contact form at www.DoIHaveAVocation.com. Susan Safford lives in the adjoining Diocese of Rapid City. She can be contacted through the Diocesan chancery (they will give you her work phone extension there if you call their website is rapidcitydiocese.org). The other, Kerry, is the secretary to Arcbishop Chaput. She may be contacted at her Archdiocesan chancery (website archphila.org) Thank you for that information! I really wish that my pastor wasn't so busy. Every time I ask him for an appointment, he agrees to meet with me but never does schedule an appointment. I've considered circumventing to the office and his secretary but I don't know how he would feel about that. I wish I had remembered that Ms. Safford lives in Rapid City! I just contacted the Sioux Fall diocese to ask about her and Ms. Ivers. Oh well! :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
abrideofChrist Posted August 9, 2013 Share Posted August 9, 2013 I should also alert you to the fact that the USACV does not always put people in contact with each other. Recently, I learned that someone had contacted the USACV for connections in her local diocese/area and was told there weren't any CVs there. There are registered members of the USACV in that same diocese and neighboring dioceses who are well known to the Vicars for Consecrated Life and who help with formation there. If you do not receive a helpful response from the USACV, do not despair as some virgins are putting together a site to help connect discerners with local CVs. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OnlySunshine Posted August 9, 2013 Author Share Posted August 9, 2013 Mater Misericordiae, Just so you know, you can also PM me if you want (but only if you want--no pressure!) I have a lot of responsibilities in real life right now, so it's hard for me to keep up long correspondences with people, but I do my best to answer when discerners have specific questions about being a CV. Also, if you wanted to get in touch with Therese Ivers, maybe you could try contacting her through her blog? Another young CV you could try talking to blogs over here: http://bylovealone.wordpress.com/ Thank you, Sponsa-Christi, for your support and help! I understand your busy schedule because I now have a BUSY schedule of my own! :hehe2: I may contact you in the near future. Do you happen to know if it is a must to pay for a phone call to Ms. Ivers? I read on a DoIHaveaVocation's blog (not sure if it was her own) that you have to pay $1 or something like that per minute. This is from the website: This website is intended to help you with your vocational discernment. For this to happen, staff time must be primarily dedicated to writing, researching, and website maintenance. As a service to serious discerners, Therese Ivers, JCL, offers a limited number of paid telephone consultations each week. I don't have funds to pay for long distance telephone calls, although it would be nice to talk to her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OnlySunshine Posted August 9, 2013 Author Share Posted August 9, 2013 I should also alert you to the fact that the USACV does not always put people in contact with each other. Recently, I learned that someone had contacted the USACV for connections in her local diocese/area and was told there weren't any CVs there. There are registered members of the USACV in that same diocese and neighboring dioceses who are well known to the Vicars for Consecrated Life and who help with formation there. If you do not receive a helpful response from the USACV, do not despair as some virgins are putting together a site to help connect discerners with local CVs. OK, another thing I'm glad to know! My diocese puts out a Diocesan Directory every year and this year was updated with 2 Consecrated Virgins listed right at the end. I had no idea that we had two. I knew one was consecrated in my former parish several years ago but I thought she moved or passed away. The other one is pretty young, too. :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laurie Posted August 9, 2013 Share Posted August 9, 2013 MaterMisericordiae, I can't speak for Therese's time, but she was extremely helpful to me. She's on FB so you might want to send her a message that way. Good luck! (I tried to shoot you a private message but got a notation that you aren't set up to receive private messages. I you do decide to enable messages, let me know. I had some spiritual direction ideas for you.) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
abrideofChrist Posted August 9, 2013 Share Posted August 9, 2013 OK, another thing I'm glad to know! My diocese puts out a Diocesan Directory every year and this year was updated with 2 Consecrated Virgins listed right at the end. I had no idea that we had two. I knew one was consecrated in my former parish several years ago but I thought she moved or passed away. The other one is pretty young, too. :) Inserting listings for CVs in the Diocesan Directory is becoming more common. Dioceses are now being asked to report numbers of CVs in their reports to the Vatican and this may have opened their eyes to the idea of listing the CVs in their directories so they don't forget by next year's report! ;) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MarysLittleFlower Posted August 9, 2013 Share Posted August 9, 2013 (edited) I read somewhere that many CVs start out with private vows, until they officially become CVs, is that true? At one point I wanted to speak to someone about discernment, and I got the chance to speak with the vocations director in my diocese... he's a great priest and he gave really good advice. Even without asking him to be your spiritual director, would it be possible to talk it all over with the vocations director in your diocese? (just about how to discern etc). I think the fact that these thoughts are not going away for you, is probably significant. The vocations director suggested that I ask my priest to teach me about how to pray, that was just personal advice to me, but I'm sure prayer is very important! Just some random thoughts! :) Edited August 9, 2013 by MarysLittleFlower Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OnlySunshine Posted August 9, 2013 Author Share Posted August 9, 2013 MaterMisericordiae, I can't speak for Therese's time, but she was extremely helpful to me. She's on FB so you might want to send her a message that way. Good luck! (I tried to shoot you a private message but got a notation that you aren't set up to receive private messages. I you do decide to enable messages, let me know. I had some spiritual direction ideas for you.) Yes, I have my PMs turned off right now. I'm busy with trying to get back into school after a short sabbatical and I'm finding that preparing for my Bachelor's is more crazy than I thought. I'm also in the midst of trying to find a job, so that's taking up a LOT of my time. :) Thanks for the info about Miss Ivers. I will try to locate her on Facebook. :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laurie Posted August 9, 2013 Share Posted August 9, 2013 You're welcome, MM. Hang in there! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OnlySunshine Posted August 9, 2013 Author Share Posted August 9, 2013 You're welcome, MM. Hang in there! Thanks, Laurie! God bless! ;) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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