Living With Non Catholics

[Anastasia13]

Whenever I pay attention to making sure I don't seem like I might approve of this sin or that that someone else does, I could get so lost in it. I could not want people to think that I agree with getting drunk, looking at porn, sleeping around that I don't associate with people who need witnessing to, who need friends, who are friendly and mean me no harm or could even be good in other ways (as far as people go). And what about the fact that people in my country's government harm other people! And I, I, I, me, me, me... but not once in almost lines did I mention God. Seeking God is the number one priority, knowing Him, loving Him, living a godly life, and doing so is so much more than avoiding being close to people doing bad things. We are strongest when we have more close fellowship, but we are not always strongest on our own in life than sharing part of it with with those who do not share our values. If it takes you away from God, then it is bad. If it does not, then it is not bad. If it brings you toward God, then it is good. None of us know you like you know your, but what does the Lord ask of you? Do justice, love mercy, and walk humbly with your God. Do what you must and have peace. God is with you.

 

Ultimately, one of the biggest things that you can do to help any roommate situation is to have a relationship of respect for each other.

Edited August 8, 2013 by Light and Truth

[Maggyie]

Let me ask you a question Lil Red, did I mention skipping Mass? or anything else? I only talked about fornication in this thread. So I am really unsure, where you are getting this from, since I didn't even mention it.

 

If someone was doing something sinful like - let's use your example of skipping Mass, - I don't think it would be charitable for me to just "not care", I'd care but I'd just pray for them, maybe get to know them better, if they're open, I can tell them simply what I love about the Mass. If they were doing something that *includes me* being part of it, like if they always took God's Name in vain, I would like to let them know that this makes me uncomfortable. I actually haven't done this yet with people I know, but I think that's because I was too much of a coward. If I have a friend who isn't living chastely, I'd just pray for her and try to be a good example, to lead her closer to God. If she's ever open to it, I'd talk to her about God, but I'd ask Him to prepare her and pray first. However if this is happening within my house - I think that's kind of different.

 

Why do you think it's different? Sin is sin. Or rather... mortal sin is mortal sin. Somebody in the house who is using porn on their laptop is just as much of an opening for the devil as anything else (and I assume you aren't going to be monitoring your roomies computers) You can go to hell just as fast.

 

Is it because SEX is involved in fornication? Could it be your hangup is actually sex and feeling it is especially dirty and threatening? If so, not to be flippant, but you should get that looked at.

 

If you have ever stayed in a hotel of any size I guarantee you people have been committing all kinds of outrages in close proximity to you.

[Anastasia13]

Why do you think it's different? Sin is sin. Or rather... mortal sin is mortal sin. Somebody in the house who is using porn on their laptop is just as much of an opening for the devil as anything else (and I assume you aren't going to be monitoring your roomies computers) You can go to hell just as fast.

 

Is it because SEX is involved in fornication? Could it be your hangup is actually sex and feeling it is especially dirty and threatening? If so, not to be flippant, but you should get that looked at.

 

If you have ever stayed in a hotel of any size I guarantee you people have been committing all kinds of outrages in close proximity to you.

 

That was almost what I said. A celibate person can still watch porn or masturbate. Personally, I would be more concerned about a roommate getting high or having drunk parties than sleeping with a long term partner-the former seems more threatening to me than the latter.

[MarysLittleFlower]

Thanks for the responses...

 

Penguin, I don't believe i'm fishing for a response. I really want to know. I don't have my mind made up, I felt confused about the topic when I posted. It's something I need to pray about it. I didn't mean lecturing the housemates on morality. When I asked the question again, it wasn't to ask the question again, but to clarify what I meant originally. As for not having to live with anyone, - I might be in a position where I don't have a choice.

[MarysLittleFlower]

Whenever I pay attention to making sure I don't seem like I might approve of this sin or that that someone else does, I could get so lost in it. I could not want people to think that I agree with getting drunk, looking at porn, sleeping around that I don't associate with people who need witnessing to, who need friends, who are friendly and mean me no harm or could even be good in other ways (as far as people go). And what about the fact that people in my country's government harm other people! And I, I, I, me, me, me... but not once in almost lines did I mention God. Seeking God is the number one priority, knowing Him, loving Him, living a godly life, and doing so is so much more than avoiding being close to people doing bad things. We are strongest when we have more close fellowship, but we are not always strongest on our own in life than sharing part of it with with those who do not share our values. If it takes you away from God, then it is bad. If it does not, then it is not bad. If it brings you toward God, then it is good. None of us know you like you know your, but what does the Lord ask of you? Do justice, love mercy, and walk humbly with your God. Do what you must and have peace. God is with you.

 

Ultimately, one of the biggest things that you can do to help any roommate situation is to have a relationship of respect for each other.

I see a bit of a difference in being friends with someone who isn't Catholic or agreeing with your morals, and being in the same house while you know they're doing something against morals... I mean when ti's for sure. I can't know what my housemates are doing. It's just that with this, with fornication, - you know the guy is in the house. I realize that still, nothing might be going on, it's not for sure, but still.

 

Why do you think it's different? Sin is sin. Or rather... mortal sin is mortal sin. Somebody in the house who is using porn on their laptop is just as much of an opening for the devil as anything else (and I assume you aren't going to be monitoring your roomies computers) You can go to hell just as fast.

 

Is it because SEX is involved in fornication? Could it be your hangup is actually sex and feeling it is especially dirty and threatening? If so, not to be flippant, but you should get that looked at.

 

If you have ever stayed in a hotel of any size I guarantee you people have been committing all kinds of outrages in close proximity to you.

No I don't think I have any hangups about sex... I agree that porn just also a mortal sin, as you said - mortal sin is  mortal sin. The difference is only that I can't possibly know if someone is watching porn. I can know, if a guy is in the house and I hear him talking.

Edited August 8, 2013 by MarysLittleFlower

[Winchester]

A study was conducted, and as long as two sheets of 1/2" drywall are between you and the sinner, you will be protected by sin molecules. Passing by an open door quickly rarely yields enough exposure to even register as a venial sin. Even with central air, the sin molecules generally degrade quickly enough that even if they pass through the air filter, they are long disintegrated before leaving the air register.

 

In the case of older construction, wood sheathing is sufficient. 

 

Single pane windows are 80% effective, newer double pain windows are 100% effective. Glass bricks trap the sin molecules. If someone breaks a glass brick in your presence, run away.

 

Lysol is effective at purifying restrooms which may have been used for unclean acts. Or you could just get one of those saint candles from Wal-Mart.

[MarysLittleFlower]

oh Winchester.. lol.. too bad that I'm also a sinner then!

Edited August 8, 2013 by MarysLittleFlower

[Spem in alium]

MLF, I can understand where you're coming from because of my own experiences.

 

Last year I studied for a semester at a Catholic college where I lived in a suite with five girls. That in itself was difficult for me (it was actually due to a mistake made by the college) and I'm not even factoring in the immorality - getting drunk, having alcohol in the suite (they were underage) bringing guys home after hours (once I even came home to find a guy in the suite by himself without any of the girls present) and talking openly about having sex. My roommate wasn't as bad as a couple of the others, but they all did things I wouldn't consider right. They didn't discuss with me whether I wanted to be exposed to that behaviour - they just kind of threw it at me.

 

Similarly, my sister is dating a guy who is not Catholic. They are planning not to have sex until marriage, but she has had him stay overnight a couple of times. This is also not something I would do if I were in her situation.

 

I think the key is not tolerance, but love. In the case with my roommates, they knew I am Catholic and I knew some of them are too. Being Catholic does not automatically make a person moral :) The situation with them did eventually make it necessary for me to move to another living situation, but while I was living with them I made it a duty to treat them with the love and respect they deserved even though I didn't agree with all they did and even though they did not share all of my morals. When they drank, I did something else. When they had guys over (sometimes five or six at a time), I read, prayed or went out. I made it easier for myself by not pushing myself further into an uncomfortable situation. It's kind of similar with my sister, I suppose, though to a lesser severity. My point from all this is that you can help yourself and ask God to help you. You do not need to be around your roommates all the time, and if they really are doing something that's upsetting you greatly, talk to them. But ultimately, don't jump to conclusions before you've even begun :)

 

You can't always choose who you live with. But you can choose how you treat them. We should pray for all people and for ourselves, because we are all sinners. I will pray for you.

[Guest]

And not to burst your bubble...But "catholics" also have sex before marriage and do other bad bad things....

Edited August 8, 2013 by Guest

[MarysLittleFlower]

MLF, I can understand where you're coming from because of my own experiences.

 

Last year I studied for a semester at a Catholic college where I lived in a suite with five girls. That in itself was difficult for me (it was actually due to a mistake made by the college) and I'm not even factoring in the immorality - getting drunk, having alcohol in the suite (they were underage) bringing guys home after hours (once I even came home to find a guy in the suite by himself without any of the girls present) and talking openly about having sex. My roommate wasn't as bad as a couple of the others, but they all did things I wouldn't consider right. They didn't discuss with me whether I wanted to be exposed to that behaviour - they just kind of threw it at me.

 

Similarly, my sister is dating a guy who is not Catholic. They are planning not to have sex until marriage, but she has had him stay overnight a couple of times. This is also not something I would do if I were in her situation.

 

I think the key is not tolerance, but love. In the case with my roommates, they knew I am Catholic and I knew some of them are too. Being Catholic does not automatically make a person moral :) The situation with them did eventually make it necessary for me to move to another living situation, but while I was living with them I made it a duty to treat them with the love and respect they deserved even though I didn't agree with all they did and even though they did not share all of my morals. When they drank, I did something else. When they had guys over (sometimes five or six at a time), I read, prayed or went out. I made it easier for myself by not pushing myself further into an uncomfortable situation. It's kind of similar with my sister, I suppose, though to a lesser severity. My point from all this is that you can help yourself and ask God to help you. You do not need to be around your roommates all the time, and if they really are doing something that's upsetting you greatly, talk to them. But ultimately, don't jump to conclusions before you've even begun :)

 

You can't always choose who you live with. But you can choose how you treat them. We should pray for all people and for ourselves, because we are all sinners. I will pray for you.

Thanks for the reply and the prayers! :) I've been in situations before that made me uncomfortable and that's one of the reasons I started this thread. That's a good point about treating them with love :)

 

God bless!

Edited August 8, 2013 by MarysLittleFlower

[MarysLittleFlower]

And not to burst your bubble...But "catholics" also have sex before marriage and do other bad bad things....

 

When I said living with Catholics, I meant living with devout practicing Catholics - though everyone sins and makes mistakes, me included, moving into a house where people are likely to follow a morality is not like moving into a house where immorality is the expected norm. (if it is, in fact, that way in a house).

Edited August 8, 2013 by MarysLittleFlower

[Guest]

I would venture to say devout practicing catholics sin just as bad....Although I get what you are saying and the point you're making...Good luck...

[HisChildForever]

I would venture to say devout practicing catholics sin just as bad....Although I get what you are saying and the point you're making...Good luck...

 

As a rule, practicing Catholics don't engage in premarital sex.

[Guest]

lol ok...not even trying to be argumentive or attack catholics...but from my life experience I don't agree with you...but as always respect your opinion....

[Guest]

Some of the biggest hypocrites I have met in life have been practicing cathlocis/christians....Myself included.....I think the reason being is we talk about these rules we must follow when half or most the time we can't keep them ourselves....So in turn it turns us into the biggest hypocrites....I'm not just talking sex before marriage....I don't think its impossible not to have sex before marriage...Heck I have done it for the most part...Although I'm not pure in any sense of the word....Anyhow I think these teachings are legit but at the same time I don't think to many people do a perfect job at actually keeping them 24/7....I'll leave it at that...

Edited August 8, 2013 by Guest