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Grief For Athiests


MithLuin

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Lying is a sin in Catholicism, so speaking according to one's conscience and being honest must have been the right thing, no?

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KnightofChrist

Lying is a sin in Catholicism, so speaking according to one's conscience and being honest must have been the right thing, no?


No. Not the right thing.
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Well, I think it's safe to say that the person in question was not particularly interested in what the Catholic Church had to say about what she should or should not have said to her grandson.....

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CatholicsAreKewl

No. Not the right thing.

 

Really? Let's look at this situation in reverse. Say the grandmother was Christian and the children would have been comforted by her lying to them and saying there wasn't an afterlife. You still believe she should have lied in this case? I'm not trying to corner you. I'm actually curious. 

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KnightofChrist

Well, I think it's safe to say that the person in question was not particularly interested in what the Catholic Church had to say about what she should or should not have said to her grandson.....


Doesn't make it right.
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*shrug*  It's not something I would say to a child, certainly.  But to bring up Catholic teaching on honesty/lying as if it were relevant in a different way from Catholic teaching on life after death seemed less than helpful here.  Obviously, she thought she had to tell the kid that to be honest. Obviously, as Catholics, we find it very harsh (and not true!)

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KnightofChrist

Really?


Yes. Really.

Let's look at this situation in reverse. Say the grandmother was Christian and the children would have been comforted by her lying to them and saying there wasn't an afterlife. You still believe she should have lied in this case? I'm not trying to corner you. I'm actually curious.


If she lied would she lie? This is what you are asking? Yeah if she lied it would be a lie.
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KnightofChrist

Obviously, as Catholics, we find it very harsh (and not true!)


Catholics or not it is harsh and it is a falsehood.

It makes me very sad for the kid... I will pray for them.
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CatholicsAreKewl

Yes. Really.


If she lied would she lie? This is what you are asking? Yeah if she lied it would be a lie.

 

Please reread my question and answer it again. If you would like me to clarify, I will. 

Edited by CatholicsAreKewl
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KnightofChrist

Please reread my question and answer it again. If you would like me to clarify, I will.


No. I gave my answer, if she lied to them that there was no life after death she would have told a lie. And frankly no one would ever find comfort in the lie that mom is dead and completely nonexistent now.

Good night, God bless.
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CatholicsAreKewl

No. I gave my answer, if she lied to them that there was no life after death she would have told a lie. And frankly no one would ever find comfort in the lie that mom is dead and completely nonexistent now.

Good night, God bless.

 

Avoiding the question. So telling the children honestly that there isn't an afterlife was only wrong because you consider it a lie. Lying to comfort people in general is not okay?

 

Good night.

Edited by CatholicsAreKewl
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TheresaThoma

So kind of back on topic. My mom is pretty much agnostic, potentially borderline atheist. So after my dad passed away we have had a couple of conversations about what happens after death (ok maybe not conversations but her just wondering aloud and me listening). She wasn't certain about an afterlife at all. Hearing her talk about it I saw that there was a whole extra layer of pain and confusion in her grief. Where I had been able to seek comfort from Holy Mother Church my mom has nothing. I'm not sure how to adress that layer, except for accepting that it is present and she will have to work through that.

 

(So on a whole different note as far as what to say. If the person doesn't mention it don't bring it up. They are probably just trying to find some normalcy, when everyone around you is constantly trying to console you it is exhausting. One of the best things my friend did for me after my dad died was to call me and just have a normal conversation with me, she didn't mention my dad but because she called I knew that she cared without having to say anything. That said just try to act normal, let them know that you heard about their loss but don't make it a major event/topic. Ok I'm off my soapbox now)

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Lying is a sin in Catholicism, so speaking according to one's conscience and being honest must have been the right thing, no?

It's not a lie if you believe it. Judging the "harshness" of what she said is impossible without knowing the context of the entire conversation.

It's a lie if Catholic adults say mom is in heaven with God and angels looking down on you when the Catholic "truth" is:
-Few get to heaven.
-Only God knows His final judgement.
-Mom may be in hell regenerating flesh that will be burned away for eternal agony.
-Mom may be in suffering in Purgatory for a million years in agony for temporal imperfections.
-Grandson faces the same agony that will last much longer than imaginable in the best case scenario when he inevitably dies.
-Odds are slim if grandson will ever see his mom again even if there is an afterlife. Edited by Anomaly
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So kind of back on topic. My mom is pretty much agnostic, potentially borderline atheist. So after my dad passed away we have had a couple of conversations about what happens after death (ok maybe not conversations but her just wondering aloud and me listening). She wasn't certain about an afterlife at all. Hearing her talk about it I saw that there was a whole extra layer of pain and confusion in her grief. Where I had been able to seek comfort from Holy Mother Church my mom has nothing. I'm not sure how to adress that layer, except for accepting that it is present and she will have to work through that.

 

There is no certainty in an afterlife, we can only hope. Some people find great comfort in believing such things exist, and if that helps them so be it. The reality may very well be that when we extinguish our last breath we enter into an eternal oblivion, and what is left of us is returned to the universe that once sprouted us.

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It's not a lie if you believe it. Judging the "harshness" of what she said is impossible without knowing the context of the entire conversation.

It's a lie if Catholic adults say mom is in heaven with God and angels looking down on you when the Catholic "truth" is:
-Few get to heaven.
-Only God knows His final judgement.
-Mom may be in hell regenerating flesh that will be burned away for eternal agony.
-Mom may be in suffering in Purgatory for a million years in agony for temporal imperfections.
-Grandson faces the same agony that will last much longer than imaginable in the best case scenario when he inevitably dies.
-Odds are slim if grandson will ever see his mom again even if there is an afterlife.

 

Thank you for putting it into perspective

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