Dealing With The Accusatory Types

[franciscanheart]

You know those people, the ones who point fingers and say, "Yeah, but did you know," and other such nonsense? The ones who say "ALL THAT GOLD!" or "Old men making decisions for women" and such? You know those?

I have SUCH A HARD TIME dealing with them. Not because I do not or cannot hear what they are saying or understand why they are saying it. But because it seems those people -- those TYPES of people -- cannot hear anything but controversy, propaganda, drama. You know?

I live with someone like this and -- as much as I love her -- it drives me up a wall. I cannot talk to her about my faith because the accusations come out. She cannot hear me. Nothing I say gets through. I get very frustrated with it sometimes and always find myself thinking...

"Why us? Why do you point the finger at US like WE are what is wrong with the world? You know there are plenty of other Christian and non-Christian denominations who think that is wrong, too."

And the one that comes to mind most frequently and is most frustrating for me?

"Why do people point at the Catholic Church and say, 'TOO ORNATE; SHOULD BE FEEDING THE POOR'? Because... have you SEEN the LDS Temple in Salt Lake? Why do people marvel at the Russian Orthodox Church and their gold topped sanctuaries but tell us that we are doing it wrong? What about all the Buddhist temples that people marvel at for how ornate they are? But when we are ornate it is too much? WHY? Why us? Why are WE the horrible ones?

It is incredibly discouraging to me as a human to have interaction with people like my roommate in regards to things like this. I try not to get into anything too deep with her -- clearly we live very different lives and are not on the same page about many things -- but sometimes it just happens. And three weeks later, it still weighs on my heart.

[CrossCuT]

Actually, my boyfriend said something similar about the totally loaded Catholic Church not doing enough to help people... It was a bit upsetting so I know how you feel in that regard :(

[franciscanheart]

What makes this

(source)

so much different than this?

(source)


This

(source)

versus this

(source)

or this

(source)

which includes this


and this?



Makes me crazy.

[BG45]

I agree with all the posts so far.  (Also those elephants are gorgeously carved!)

 

Crosscut, if he speaks in memes maybe this one would work (doubt it, but worth a shot...sometimes humor goes in under people's radar to make a point):

[Luigi]

When they start, I smile and say rather tersely, "I'm sure you're right," and then let it drop. Because, as you say, they can't even hear you, so why bother?

 

 

 

 

I'd rather beat my head against a brick wall, because at least a brick wall won't accuse you of anything.

[franciscanheart]

I would never lie like that. I say, "You may be right," when in a situation where no one is going to concede.

[Gabriela]

Sounds like my brother. You have my deepest empathy.

[ardillacid]

sarcasm is the only way to deal with such people 

[Tufsoles]

I do dislike people saying those things, FH. We all know that Alot times churches/dioceses are in debt or don't have a lot of money and we try our best to provide for the poor but we don't always have the necssary funds to do so. 

[franciscanheart]

She relies very much on her perception of this one person up north that she knows. This woman is very adamant about tithing 10%. My roommate cites this as some kind of abuse of power on the part of the Church, "forcing" people with shame or threat of [things she can never actually identify] to give up their money instead of allowing them to "tithe" the same 10% to charities or organizations of their choice. She cannot or will not understand any of it, and it is a huge struggle to accept that. I always want to try to explain, and it always falls on deaf ears.

[Eowyn]

I would never lie like that. I say, "You may be right," when in a situation where no one is going to concede.

 

Something like "I can see your point" kinda works, too.  I can often see where others are coming from, even if I (ahem, strongly)disagree with them.

[Tufsoles]

She relies very much on her perception of this one person up north that she knows. This woman is very adamant about tithing 10%. My roommate cites this as some kind of abuse of power on the part of the Church, "forcing" people with shame or threat of [things she can never actually identify] to give up their money instead of allowing them to "tithe" the same 10% to charities or organizations of their choice. She cannot or will not understand any of it, and it is a huge struggle to accept that. I always want to try to explain, and it always falls on deaf ears.

 

That is a very narrow view of Tithe...

[Luigi]

I would never lie like that. I say, "You may be right," when in a situation where no one is going to concede.

 

I'm sure you're right. 

[franciscanheart]

I'm sure you're right.

Har har har.

[Winchester]

I know a priest who just responds very mildly with things like: "Yes, aren't we just the worst?"