polskieserce Posted July 22, 2013 Author Share Posted July 22, 2013 I am very proud to be a virgin and I would love to marry a virgin guy. I know it is an Ideal but .... Like others said he has to be a free and capable, virgin or not. I got love the guy for who he is. Shouldn't we really be talking about Chastity, anyways? However, How did this thread get to 15 pages? Seriously, I thought this thing would die after 2 or 3 because of the op.... and thier "sly" ways. I think every should know by know that this person came in to cause chaos and turn us agianst eachother. Wow, gone for two days and the thread is an explosion. That is not what I intended to do. I didn't go into this thinking, "Oh let's see how many people I can get to argue with each other". This thread was about discovering information for myself, not for getting people to argue. All I asked was where I could find people who are similar to me in the virginity department. THAT WAS ALL. Instead, a lot of you took it upon yourself to attack me and for wanting a certain trait in a partner. Who are you to dictate to me who I should accept or not accept as a future spouse? I am the one who is going to be living with the person for the rest of my natural life, putting in the effort to make the marriage work, dealing with marital conflict, etc. I would never tell another person who that they need to expand their pool to include more people. I have eyes and I see what is happening in the world around me. I know that virgins are much less common that non-virgins. I don't need several posts reminding me of something I already know. Regarding all these threads about letting a person's past sexual sins slide, I'm just not buying it. As much as a lot of you may dislike it, the past plays a very big role in determining a person's present and future life. Let's say a person has been shooting heroine for several years and dealing to keep their addiction funded. The cops arrest the person and charge her with a felony drug charge. While in jail, she repents and becomes a sincere catholic. She gets out of prison and starts looking for practicing catholic men to marry. Would I consider her? Absolutely not. While she may be a catholic now, the felony drug charge prevents her from a lot of meaningful employment opportunities. I'm not going to work 60 hours a week like a horse for the rest of my life because someone did not have it together earlier in life. What if she's not a virgin? A lot of you kept saying "Well what if she made one mistake in her teen years and then repented?". Lol how watered down. Here is a more realistic scenario "What if she has 8 sexual partners spanning from her teens to mid 20s and she had sex multiple times with each one?" I would not get with such a girl. A person's past is a big indicator of their present actions. If a girl was like that in the past, then why should I take a risk with her? Yes, there is risk with everyone. But it is higher with people who are not virgins, and I'm not one who takes big risks. Why should I take a higher chance that if I am with her, get married, and get her pregnant, that she won't abort my child? Why should I take a higher risk that if I'm not around, she has sex with one of her co-workers in the "heat of the moment" and then comes crying to me for forgiveness and asking me to raise the child which might not even be mine? Why should I put up with the fact that the person has a lot more baggage than a virgin? It's my life, NOT YOURS. I get to decide what is an acceptable level of risk, NOT YOU. In my opinion, the level of risk with those girls is too high. The responses on this thread prove my point even more, that the Catholic church is in a sad state when it comes to this issue. Sexual sins receive more attention than a lot of other things because it's much more personal and it strikes a lot closer to home. If a girl got a ticket for urinating in public, vandalised something, or did a lot of stealing, it's not given as much attention because it's much less personal. It's more personal for the reasons I listed in the previous paragraph (ability to stay faithful, likelihood of killing an unborn child, respect for her future spouse, etc). Instead of attacking me, some of you should be talking about the state the church is in. With how things are going now, the catholic church might be nothing more than a community center with a cross on top of it in america 40 years from now. If catholics continue to let so much stuff slide because it's not a big deal and you can just ask for forgiveness later, then you are going to see a lot of people breaking the rules and not following catholics teachings. If there is going to be a general backlash against virgins who held out for all those years, and will only marry another virgin, then you will continue to see fewer of them. The mentality that your backlash promotes is this "Even if I'm a virgin, I will probably end up having to settle for a non-virgin, so why even bother depriving myself of all that fun I could be having when I'm young?" You need to look at it from that practical sense. Many catholics don't take advanced religious classes or even read the bible for that matter. For most people to pursue the goal of virginity, there has to be general praise for their efforts and help given to them in finding someone of their liking. If a lot of church members do neither of those two things and actually work against them, then it makes these people feel like they have been left out and what they did is not worth the effort. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ice_nine Posted July 22, 2013 Share Posted July 22, 2013 (edited) lollololol good luck finding a mate, mate eta: and we're really not "all arguing with each other." It's pretty much been everyone vs. norseman Edited July 22, 2013 by Ice_nine Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HisChildForever Posted July 22, 2013 Share Posted July 22, 2013 This thread was about discovering information for myself, not for getting people to argue. All I asked was where I could find people who are similar to me in the virginity department. THAT WAS ALL. Two things. One, it's pretty much common sense that the best way to meet someone with similar beliefs is at a parish function or a Catholic dating site. Two, it would be extremely crass of you - just bad manners - to immediately ask a prospective partner if she's a virgin. It would also freak her out. So good luck with that approach. What if she's not a virgin? A lot of you kept saying "Well what if she made one mistake in her teen years and then repented?". Lol how watered down. Here is a more realistic scenario "What if she has 8 sexual partners spanning from her teens to mid 20s and she had sex multiple times with each one?" I would not get with such a girl. A person's past is a big indicator of their present actions. If a girl was like that in the past, then why should I take a risk with her? Yes, there is risk with everyone. But it is higher with people who are not virgins, and I'm not one who takes big risks. Why should I take a higher chance that if I am with her, get married, and get her pregnant, that she won't abort my child? Why should I take a higher risk that if I'm not around, she has sex with one of her co-workers in the "heat of the moment" and then comes crying to me for forgiveness and asking me to raise the child which might not even be mine? Why should I put up with the fact that the person has a lot more baggage than a virgin? The scenario presented to you isn't unrealistic at all. When I was 19 I was in a very manipulative and (verbally) abusive relationship. I almost lost my virginity. It was a dark time. What if I had given in though? You'd be lumping me in with all those other non-virgin hoes. And clearly I'd be more likely to get an abortion or cheat on my husband. Give me a break. The mentality that your backlash promotes is this "Even if I'm a virgin, I will probably end up having to settle for a non-virgin, so why even bother depriving myself of all that fun I could be having when I'm young?" You need to look at it from that practical sense. Many catholics don't take advanced religious classes or even read the bible for that matter. For most people to pursue the goal of virginity, there has to be general praise for their efforts and help given to them in finding someone of their liking. If a lot of church members do neither of those two things and actually work against them, then it makes these people feel like they have been left out and what they did is not worth the effort. Christian women (and men) who remain virgins until marriage do so FIRST for Christ, and SECOND for their spouse. Ergo it is ALWAYS worth the "effort" because it's for Jesus Christ. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CatholicsAreKewl Posted July 22, 2013 Share Posted July 22, 2013 Wow, gone for two days and the thread is an explosion. That is not what I intended to do. I didn't go into this thinking, "Oh let's see how many people I can get to argue with each other". This thread was about discovering information for myself, not for getting people to argue. All I asked was where I could find people who are similar to me in the virginity department. THAT WAS ALL. Instead, a lot of you took it upon yourself to attack me and for wanting a certain trait in a partner. Who are you to dictate to me who I should accept or not accept as a future spouse? I am the one who is going to be living with the person for the rest of my natural life, putting in the effort to make the marriage work, dealing with marital conflict, etc. I would never tell another person who that they need to expand their pool to include more people. I have eyes and I see what is happening in the world around me. I know that virgins are much less common that non-virgins. I don't need several posts reminding me of something I already know. Regarding all these threads about letting a person's past sexual sins slide, I'm just not buying it. As much as a lot of you may dislike it, the past plays a very big role in determining a person's present and future life. Let's say a person has been shooting heroine for several years and dealing to keep their addiction funded. The cops arrest the person and charge her with a felony drug charge. While in jail, she repents and becomes a sincere catholic. She gets out of prison and starts looking for practicing catholic men to marry. Would I consider her? Absolutely not. While she may be a catholic now, the felony drug charge prevents her from a lot of meaningful employment opportunities. I'm not going to work 60 hours a week like a horse for the rest of my life because someone did not have it together earlier in life. What if she's not a virgin? A lot of you kept saying "Well what if she made one mistake in her teen years and then repented?". Lol how watered down. Here is a more realistic scenario "What if she has 8 sexual partners spanning from her teens to mid 20s and she had sex multiple times with each one?" I would not get with such a girl. A person's past is a big indicator of their present actions. If a girl was like that in the past, then why should I take a risk with her? Yes, there is risk with everyone. But it is higher with people who are not virgins, and I'm not one who takes big risks. Why should I take a higher chance that if I am with her, get married, and get her pregnant, that she won't abort my child? Why should I take a higher risk that if I'm not around, she has sex with one of her co-workers in the "heat of the moment" and then comes crying to me for forgiveness and asking me to raise the child which might not even be mine? Why should I put up with the fact that the person has a lot more baggage than a virgin? It's my life, NOT YOURS. I get to decide what is an acceptable level of risk, NOT YOU. In my opinion, the level of risk with those girls is too high. The responses on this thread prove my point even more, that the Catholic church is in a sad state when it comes to this issue. Sexual sins receive more attention than a lot of other things because it's much more personal and it strikes a lot closer to home. If a girl got a ticket for urinating in public, vandalised something, or did a lot of stealing, it's not given as much attention because it's much less personal. It's more personal for the reasons I listed in the previous paragraph (ability to stay faithful, likelihood of killing an unborn child, respect for her future spouse, etc). Instead of attacking me, some of you should be talking about the state the church is in. With how things are going now, the catholic church might be nothing more than a community center with a cross on top of it in america 40 years from now. If catholics continue to let so much stuff slide because it's not a big deal and you can just ask for forgiveness later, then you are going to see a lot of people breaking the rules and not following catholics teachings. If there is going to be a general backlash against virgins who held out for all those years, and will only marry another virgin, then you will continue to see fewer of them. The mentality that your backlash promotes is this "Even if I'm a virgin, I will probably end up having to settle for a non-virgin, so why even bother depriving myself of all that fun I could be having when I'm young?" You need to look at it from that practical sense. Many catholics don't take advanced religious classes or even read the bible for that matter. For most people to pursue the goal of virginity, there has to be general praise for their efforts and help given to them in finding someone of their liking. If a lot of church members do neither of those two things and actually work against them, then it makes these people feel like they have been left out and what they did is not worth the effort. You have every right to have this kink. I'm just wondering how you'll go about popping the question... And when? Would it be on the first date? Is there some dating site for Catholic virgins? If not, I'm so capitalizing on this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BG45 Posted July 22, 2013 Share Posted July 22, 2013 Christian women (and men) who remain virgins until marriage do so FIRST for Christ, and SECOND for their spouse. Ergo it is ALWAYS worth the "effort" because it's for Jesus Christ. /thread Seriously, the best summation of what almost everyone has been trying to say. If a girl got a ticket for urinating in public, vandalised something, or did a lot of stealing, it's not given as much attention because it's much less personal. Sorry to single out such a small snippet, but this would have major repercussions on the hypothetical woman. Public urination is indecent exposure, which depending on the jursidiction could get one on a sex offender registry for life, with all of the housing and employment restrictions thereof. So a woman could be a virgin, but a sex offender, just from one tiny drunk mistake on where to use the bathroom. It seems to me that she would carry, with the label of sex offender, a greater stigma to those who did not know her circumstances than a woman who may or may not have engaged in sexual activity who is not labeled as a sex offender. (No clue why that says it's HCF again.) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
arfink Posted July 22, 2013 Share Posted July 22, 2013 If that's /thread, can we get this locked plz? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CatholicsAreKewl Posted July 22, 2013 Share Posted July 22, 2013 Noo! My questions weren't answered Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
polskieserce Posted July 22, 2013 Author Share Posted July 22, 2013 Two things. One, it's pretty much common sense that the best way to meet someone with similar beliefs is at a parish function or a Catholic dating site. Two, it would be extremely crass of you - just bad manners - to immediately ask a prospective partner if she's a virgin. It would also freak her out. So good luck with that approach. The scenario presented to you isn't unrealistic at all. When I was 19 I was in a very manipulative and (verbally) abusive relationship. I almost lost my virginity. It was a dark time. What if I had given in though? You'd be lumping me in with all those other non-virgin hoes. And clearly I'd be more likely to get an abortion or cheat on my husband. Give me a break. Christian women (and men) who remain virgins until marriage do so FIRST for Christ, and SECOND for their spouse. Ergo it is ALWAYS worth the "effort" because it's for Jesus Christ. I don't ask a girl within 15 minutes of meeting her if she is a virgin or not. With all the girls I have either dated or hung around, it comes out pretty early on, one way or another. Perhaps this is just a generational thing. But with girls I have been with in the past, I knew exactly which ones were virgins and which ones were not. I was asked several times early on how many girls I have slept with (by girls I was talking to). I gave an honest answer and I proceeded to ask the same question. If I could give an honest answer, I see no reason for a girl to be unable to do the same. There is no reason to wait 3 months before asking a question like that. People are more open to talking about it these days. At least there is that plus for the time we live in now. If you had lost your virginity to that person, you wouldn't have been as bad as girls who slept with 20-40 guys. But you certainly wouldn't be as pure as a virgin is anymore. Yes, it would make you more likely to do wrong to your husband if you caved in when times were rough. It would mean that anytime things start getting really bumpy and you are going through a dark time, that there's a higher risk of those things happening again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HisChildForever Posted July 22, 2013 Share Posted July 22, 2013 If you had lost your virginity to that person, you wouldn't have been as bad as girls who slept with 20-40 guys. But you certainly wouldn't be as pure as a virgin is anymore. Yes, it would make you more likely to do wrong to your husband if you caved in when times were rough. It would mean that anytime things start getting really bumpy and you are going through a dark time, that there's a higher risk of those things happening again. In other words, if I stole from a convenience store once x amount of years ago, I would be more likely to rob a bank with guns blazing. Cool story bro. If I had sex with ONE person 6 years ago and fully repented, my no-cheat policy before, during, and after that relationship would be the SAME as it is now. I know who I am, you don't. Anyway, you think this thread is bad? Why don't you start posting one of your rants against stay-at-home-moms? Oh yes, I saw those posts on your CAF thread(s), you silly thing you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lil Red Posted July 22, 2013 Share Posted July 22, 2013 Anyway, you think this thread is bad? Why don't you start posting one of your rants against stay-at-home-moms? Oh yes, I saw those posts on your CAF thread(s), you silly thing you. let's not start more 16 page threads. :| Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lil Red Posted July 22, 2013 Share Posted July 22, 2013 If you had lost your virginity to that person, you wouldn't have been as bad as girls who slept with 20-40 guys. But you certainly wouldn't be as pure as a virgin is anymore. Yes, it would make you more likely to do wrong to your husband if you caved in when times were rough. It would mean that anytime things start getting really bumpy and you are going through a dark time, that there's a higher risk of those things happening again. LOL! someone's status as a virgin (or not) doesn't mean that they won't be a coward (or not) in other situations. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Era Might Posted July 22, 2013 Share Posted July 22, 2013 (edited) Polskieserce, Are you and Norseman the same person? Edited July 22, 2013 by Era Might Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lil Red Posted July 22, 2013 Share Posted July 22, 2013 Norseman, I say this in all charity which you appear to be lacking, but if you can find a man who has never sinned sexually in some way, let him cast the first stone. One of the things I've been amazed has not come up in this thread has been the issue of MALE lust and adultery. It doesn't just have to be having sex before marriage, which Havok has quite obviously repented of and married the woman he loves. It can be masturbation, it can be watching pornography, it can be looking at a woman with an impure heart. We are ALL sinners who have fallen short of the glory of God. so yeah. BG brought up a good point. which seems to have been side-stepped. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Selah Posted July 22, 2013 Share Posted July 22, 2013 let's not start more 16 page threads. :| Why not? It's a Phatmass tradition. Just stick "Muslims" and "Yoga" somewhere in here, and you got yourself a thread lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lil Red Posted July 22, 2013 Share Posted July 22, 2013 Why not? It's a Phatmass tradition. Just stick "Muslims" and "Yoga" somewhere in here, and you got yourself a thread lol don't forget pants. :| and long hair on women. (anyone else remember that argument?) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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