On Detachment

[Pia Jesu]

[attachment=3184:sm_tom.JPG]

 

There is a touching story in Helmuth Loose and Guy Gaucher's book "Therese and Lisieux" about

the saint's encounter with her beloved dog (actual photo above), Tom, in the Carmel's garden.  As workmen brought in a cart of furniture from her family home (after the death of her holy father), the

spaniel spotted his "former mistress" and overjoyed--ran up to her, covered her with kisses and hid

under her large veil.  As the book states, she had to "tear herself away."  For older, perhaps independently-living discerners of religious life, leaving worldly things can be both challenging and

liberating.  What I'd appreciate hearing from the VS community are your thoughts on the difficult albeit heartbreaking (for me) prospect of giving up a much-loved pet.

 

On http://www.vistyr.org/heaven-on-earth, Sr. Bernadette Therese (Pt. I) talks about having a "safety

net" if things didn't work out during her aspirancy at the Tyringham Monastery.

 

"...I had no worries or fears about this.  Why?  In truth, because of my safety nets.  For one thing, I knew I would be able to procure

a new job without difficulty.  My apartment, furniture and car were all gone...my loving and supportive parents and six sisters, all

living in Florida would give me help and refuge when and if I needed it.  The scariness of leaving all for Jesus was not so much in

the material world but in the uncertainty of it all."

 

My dog, Frank (named after St. Francis, of course) has been with me from his puppyhood

days.  And while I do understand St. Paul's advice to "Set your mind on things that are above,

not on things that are on earth (Colossions 3:2)...and have been praying for courage...it's

proving to be somewhat of a stumbling block.

 

 

 

[maximillion]

I must admit I thank God I did not have to face this dilemma......if He asked me to give up my very precious companion animal now ...well, it would be an enormous struggle of faith and will.

 

I appreciate your stumble and pray that you can resolve your feelings somehow.

 

Maybe others can offer a more spiritual response........

[Pia Jesu]

Thanks for understanding (and the prayers!), Maximillion.  Frank is half on my lap as I write this...!

God bless!

[TheresaThoma]

I think giving up a much beloved animal companion can be the hardest thing. I had a cat for 13 years (I got her when she was about 10 weeks old) and it absolutely broke my heart to think of leaving her behind, even if I was just moving out and not entering quite yet. The logical part of me knew that it was best for her to stay with my mom, in the house that she had known her whole life. Don't feel bad that this is a stumbling block, it would be odd if it wasn't. My advice is to talk to God about this. I think sometimes we forget/ don't want to tell God about our struggles with what we think of as "silly stumbling blocks". However God can only help us when we invite Him into that struggle. Pray for courage but be willing to admit your weaknesses.

 

(However sometimes those decisions are made for us. About 2 months ago we found out she had pancreatic cancer(which is not at all treatable) and a month ago I had to put her down. It was still painful for me but I knew it was a blessing that I didn't have to make the choice of leaving her behind or having her get sick and my mom having to make the decision).

[Pia Jesu]

Having to put down a pet is awful.  So sorry! 

 

Awhile back, Fr. Anthony spoke in a homily (EWTN morning Mass) about whether or not we should "love" a pet...

and if we do, in fact, say or feel that, it is "disordered love"!  Apparently, the friars have a dog named "Michelangelo"

who (he said) looks to them basically as "can openers" for dog food.

 

Thank goodness...a parish priest (who owns a dog) said that attachment to pets is very human and normal.  What

complicates the problem for some discerners is not having family or friends who are able to take care of the animal.

He suggested trying to detach oneself in small ways first (tv, favorite foods, etc.)...then, moving on to bigger things.

[MarysLittleFlower]

I have a dog and if God called me to religious life, it would be a sacrifice for me to leave her. However, I think God can give the grace for that, as with everything else. I think just focusing on growing in love for God and detaching yourself in smaller ways as Pia Jesu said, could be helpful. It helps to know that even St Therese found it painful to leave her dog, so we can ask her for prayers :)

[Pia Jesu]

[attachment=3185:Benedictine Abbey.jpg]

 

Yes...detachment is a grace, a gift from God...and acquired through prayer.  It certainly demonstrates

loving the Creator more than the creature.  St. John of the Cross writes of this, saying that our deepest

desire is really for God, who alone can satisfy us and is the source of love and happiness.

 

It's noteworthy to find so many monasteries with dogs (Thank you, Jesus!).  The Benedictines have the

above "matching" Great Dane...at the Abbey of St. Walburga http://www.walburga.org, the Tyringham

Visitandines have Trooper the Yellow Lab http://www.vistyr.org ...just to name a few!

[nikita92]

I too struggle with this! (My male tuxedo "Cadet" is laying on my bed as I write this! I lost my other tuxedo on Memorial Day to a coyote!) We are human.. and separation from a beloved pet companion (no matter how long we have them) is going to cause some sort of heartbreak and interior struggle!! I think, having some sort of safety net in place (if one will be leaving to enter a community) can help elevate the stress and insecure feelings, and lots of prayers will be key in making the transition as bump free as possible. We have addressed this topic on here before!! Pia, you are not alone in facing this very important part of discernment! "What to do with one's pet companion?" and "How do we handle it?" I find Fr. A's analogy of being "can openers" abit off putting! (he is entitled to his perspective) I was told by a very holy person that dogs and cats were created by God as animal companions for us! Thus, we will be opening cans for them..but they give so much in return! Yes, alot of monastery's and convents have a community pet or two. (Mother Angelica has a favorite cat (tuxedo) "Frankie") Also, those "pets" are there working as "Guard" dogs and "Mousers" I'll get off my soap box now! Lol

[Anselm]

I have a four year old Border Terrier and if I enter religious life I will of course have to give him away. I find it very reassuring that a priest friend has agreed to take him; of course it makes no practical difference, but then we're sentimental creatures aren't we?

[Pia Jesu]

Yes, indeed.  My SD once told me that detachment is equated with indifference (which is really hard to reconcile with

one's pet!).  Yet it falls within the realm of a sacrifice that liberates our (very human) hearts in order to love God!  All

is possible with grace.

How wonderful that your priest-friend has offered to take your border terrier!