Long-distance Love May Be Stronger Than You Think, New Study Says

[CrossCuT]

This is an article I found today which I thought was very interesting. I am currently in a long distance relationship and among some of my family (aunts, uncles etc) they tend to sneer at the nature of my relationship with my boyfriend. We didnt meet on one of those dating sites which are somewhat more socially acceptable, we met on an online video game.

It isnt uncommon for us to run into people who are amazing that we have been able to maintain our relationship so well; we are extremely close and still manage to find lots of time to "hang out" together even if it isnt in person. We plan trips to see eachother whenever possible (usually around holidays) and try to do our best to always set aside time to devote to one another.

 

So when I found this article I thought it was very refreshing! No doubt with social networking and other sources that can tie us all together across great spaces these sorts of relationship are getting easier to maintain, but regardless it was a fun article to read! :)

 

 

Long distance relationships never work, the colloquial wisdom goes. Or rather, they'll work for a while: You’ll trade a few texts, Skype a few times, maybe even visit once in a while. But the heartache of being apart and living separate lives will start to wear on you, and soon enough, things will fizzle out.

Not true, according to a small but growing number of social science studies. Long-distance relationships are, in many ways, stronger than relationships between couples who live together or close by, shows a new study published today in the Journal of Communication.

But it's a generally positive takeaway message here for couples in long-distance relationships. It's so hard to be away from each other, but your relationship really can take it, Jiang says. (In fact, past research has shown that long-distance couples are no more likely to break up than geographically close couples.)

“If being geographically apart is inevitable, people should not despair,” Jiang says. Long-distance relationships “are not doomed to fail,” she says, at least not more easily than relationships between two people who live close by. “I think such findings give people confidence given long-distance romance is much more common nowadays,” she says.

 

http://www.today.com/health/long-distance-love-may-be-stronger-you-think-new-study-6C10660702

[franciscanheart]

Some of my dearest friends met via an online game. They are happily married now, though living far from me. (She got a job near his town and they bought the CUTEST house.) Their relationship is wonderful and a true testament to this idea.

[CrossCuT]

I hope people will eventually grow out of this phase of applying some crazy stereotypes to online/long distance relationships. I always get nervous that people are secretly judging me and applying all these negative ideas of who I or my boyfriend am based on the fact we met online.

I know people are slowly moving out of this phase as online relationships are becoming more common, but its still something that drives me nuts.

 

At the end of the day however I dont care. I have an awesome man who makes me exceedingly happy :)

[Basilisa Marie]

I'm in a long distance relationship.  It forces you to work on your communication skills, and to actively make the other person a priority (Oh, sorry friends, I can't hang out tonight, I have a Skype date with my boyfriend).  Good skills to learn. :) 

[CrossCuT]

I'm in a long distance relationship.  It forces you to work on your communication skills, and to actively make the other person a priority (Oh, sorry friends, I can't hang out tonight, I have a Skype date with my boyfriend).  Good skills to learn. :)

Haha exactly!

Thats one thing my boyfriend and I are very good at. Since you essentially dont have a physical relationship most of the time, everything is done via online so its ALL communication. 

[EmilyAnn]

Just yesterday a friend of mine said "how can you say you're in a relationship when you're not in the same place?" It's really grating when people say things like that because who are you to judge my relationship? My boyfriend and I had never told our families about our relationship and although we are working on that at the moment we're both still very aware that they're unlikely to take us seriously. But hopefully attitudes are changing. 

 

 (Oh, sorry friends, I can't hang out tonight, I have a Skype date with my boyfriend).

 

I know that one well. :hehe:

[HisChildForever]

It depends on the couple, I suppose. I'm lucky, my boyfriend is a 30-minute drive away.  :hehe2:

[HisChildForever]

Just yesterday a friend of mine said "how can you say you're in a relationship when you're not in the same place?" It's really grating when people say things like that because who are you to judge my relationship? My boyfriend and I had never told our families about our relationship and although we are working on that at the moment we're both still very aware that they're unlikely to take us seriously. But hopefully attitudes are changing. 

 

That's odd - I mean, what about significant others and spouses who serve overseas in the military? Or have to travel far for long periods of time for their job? 

 

Every couple is different, and what works for one couple doesn't work for another. I mean, my boyfriend and I are perfectly content being on our own/doing our own thing on a Friday night. Sometimes we'll talk on AIM rofl when we could just as easily be hanging out together. But that's us, we like "me" time. My brother and his girlfriend would see each other almost every day (before they moved in together) and think this weird. Whatever lol.

[CrossCuT]

Just yesterday a friend of mine said "how can you say you're in a relationship when you're not in the same place?" It's really grating when people say things like that because who are you to judge my relationship? My boyfriend and I had never told our families about our relationship and although we are working on that at the moment we're both still very aware that they're unlikely to take us seriously. But hopefully attitudes are changing. 

You have my support!!!! Stay strong! :)

 

I think my parents originally thought it was strange because my mother has always been of the mind "People on the internet are all rapists!" so when I told them how we met she didnt really say anything. But once they were able to get to know him, both from me telling them about him as well as meeting him themselves, no one gives it a second thought.

 

I was not afraid really to tell my immediate family (siblings, parents), but I do NOT like talking about it around my other relatives.

My boyfriend on the other hand seems to be much more at ease with it and tells everyone! Haha! I feel more comfortable talking about it with acquaintances/strangers when he is there.

[EmilyAnn]

That's odd - I mean, what about significant others and spouses who serve overseas in the military? Or have to travel far for long periods of time for their job? 

 

Every couple is different, and what works for one couple doesn't work for another. I mean, my boyfriend and I are perfectly content being on our own/doing our own thing on a Friday night. Sometimes we'll talk on AIM rofl when we could just as easily be hanging out together. But that's us, we like "me" time. My brother and his girlfriend would see each other almost every day (before they moved in together) and think this weird. Whatever lol.

 

Yeah I know - there are so many circumstances that can lead to long-distance. I think maybe it's the thing of starting a relationship long-distance that people get weird about. 

 

That's totally true. I don't think long-distance is necessarily something everyone can cope with.

 

You have my support!!!! Stay strong! :)

 

I think my parents originally thought it was strange because my mother has always been of the mind "People on the internet are all rapists!" so when I told them how we met she didnt really say anything. But once they were able to get to know him, both from me telling them about him as well as meeting him themselves, no one gives it a second thought.

 

I was not afraid really to tell my immediate family (siblings, parents), but I do NOT like talking about it around my other relatives.

My boyfriend on the other hand seems to be much more at ease with it and tells everyone! Haha! I feel more comfortable talking about it with acquaintances/strangers when he is there.

 

Thanks :)

 

I'm hoping it will help that my boyfriend and I actually met in high school in the 11th grade, it just took us like five and a half years to sort ourselves out. :P 

 

The silly thing is I don't hide it from anyone but my family - I don't mind mentioning him to just about everyone else. He's the one that hasn't really told anyone, but he's a very private person generally. 

[Nihil Obstat]

I can also attest to this being true. I often think that during the early stages of our relationship, it was better that we did not see each other every day or something. It forced us to actually learn how to communicate. Now that we are not long distance anymore, we still have that foundation of communicating.

[4588686]

Hell is other people

[Nihil Obstat]

I can also attest to this being true. I often think that during the early stages of our relationship, it was better that we did not see each other every day or something. It forced us to actually learn how to communicate. Now that we are not long distance anymore, we still have that foundation of communicating.

That being said, it is absolutely not for everyone. It was very very hard.

[Archaeology cat]

It is hard. I hated it when people would say we weren't really dating because we were 10 hours (by car) apart. It did force us to learn to communicate better, which has been invaluable.