Sex On Campus: College Hook-up Culture On Young Women

[CrossCuT]

A very lenghty article on the subject was posted by the NY Times HERE.

However I also provided quotes and a link to an article that sums it up.

 

The NYTimes has an article about the effect of the college hook-up culture on young women and their potential for happiness in life and relationships.  It is a poignant and painful look at what happens to a culture when it defines itself by its ability to produce instead of the quality of its character and depth of its relationships.

The title of the article is, “Sex on Campus:  She Can Play That Game Too.”  The implication, of course, is that men have been having casual sex for centuries and its worked out OK for them, certainly women can succeed at the same game.  The problem is, it never really worked for men and it isn’t working for women either.

 

http://www.patheos.com/blogs/faithonthecouch/2013/07/no-she-cant-play-that-game-either/

[BG45]

I think I like Dr. Greg.  As he talked about attachment, I was like "dude yes!  Yes!  I have so many theories on high risk and deviant behavior that agree with you!"  

 

The NYT article was sad, "cost-benefit analysis" and all...maybe I'm just old fashioned or had that strong parental attachment as a child, despite having two working parents.

[Winchester]

I ordered brochures from several colleges, just now. Thanks for this information.

[Gabriela]

It's amazing the rationalizations women will come up with to defend their images of themselves as "strong women" when in fact they're just desperate for men.

[CatholicsAreKewl]

It's amazing the rationalizations women will come up with to defend their images of themselves as "strong women" when in fact they're just desperate for men.

 

Or desperate for other women. 

[4588686]

Or desperate for other women. 

 

 

Don't interrupt the narrative.  All those sexually loose women just need a good man in their life.  Or the best man, Jesus  :winner:

[PhuturePriest]

Don't interrupt the narrative.  All those sexually loose women just need a good man in their life.  Or the best man, Jesus  :winner:

 

They only go to Jesus because they know they'll never be able to get a stud muffin like me.

[CrossCuT]

They only go to Jesus because they know they'll never be able to get a stud muffin like me.

:muffin:

[CatholicsAreKewl]

They only go to Jesus because they know they'll never be able to get a stud muffin like me.

 

This is why we're besties.

[4588686]

I kissed a girl once.  That was the end of it, though.  A woman so clearly beholden to animalistic lust isn't marriage material.  

[franciscanheart]

I kissed a girl once.  That was the end of it, though.  A woman so clearly beholden to animalistic lust isn't marriage material.

Yeah, but she bit you. That kinda crosses a line. Maybe you should try again...

[CrossCuT]

Anyway, does anyone have any real comments about this article?

I thought it was interesting...maybe not shocking or new, but interesting.

[franciscanheart]

It's a good point, one that I feel has been made over and over again. I've only made it through page one of the article, but will comment again when I've finished.

[ChristinaTherese]

Anyway, does anyone have any real comments about this article?

I thought it was interesting...maybe not shocking or new, but interesting.

These two look like real comments:

I think I like Dr. Greg.  As he talked about attachment, I was like "dude yes!  Yes!  I have so many theories on high risk and deviant behavior that agree with you!"  

 

The NYT article was sad, "cost-benefit analysis" and all...maybe I'm just old fashioned or had that strong parental attachment as a child, despite having two working parents.

 

It's amazing the rationalizations women will come up with to defend their images of themselves as "strong women" when in fact they're just desperate for men.

I found the NYT article very sad. Dr. Greg's post was interesting. I think my reactions are basically summed up by BG and curiousing's posts.

[Gabriela]

I certainly intended my comment to be "real". I teach in higher ed, so I read the entire article. (It isn't actually that long.) I knew about the hook-up culture, but it's not the kind of thing you'd pick up on as a teacher. I had simply heard about it in articles and books on "students today". I didn't realize it was quite so bad as the NYT article revealed. And before I read that article, I really hadn't thought about "who perpetuates it". In a sense, it's obvious that everyone who participates in it perpetuates it. But I think that women's participation in it is largely driven by the desire for emotional and relational intimacy, regardless of what those women say. As a woman who was not always as modest as I am now, and who has friends who have traveled the same road as I have, I know that a lot of women "experiment" with hooking up and talk a lot of smack about how liberated they are and how they just want a good lay and how they have other "ambitious" priorities and bla bla bla. But the truth is, most women go home from a hook-up hoping the guy will call them again. For the most part (I'm not saying it's everyone), women use sex to "hook" men. Which is stupid, because that is not what hooks a good man. They just think that, since that's what men obviously want, and since they aren't emotionally or otherwise available, it's the only "hook" they've got to offer.

 

That being said, I think that the Patheos article was spot on. The more we suffer from a lack of intimacy and attachment, the more we seek those things out in harmful (and unproductive) ways. Not everyone who does stupid things is aware of their true motivations for doing so. That takes self-awareness, which I can say without a doubt not many of my students have. So if you ask them about those stupid behaviors, they'll rationalize why they do it. And they'll rationalize in a way that flatters their egos—because obviously that's what's hurting from all their history of insufficient intimacy and attachment and real, healthy love. They'll say they do it because they're ambitious and don't care about having a relationship with a man. When the truth is, if they really didn't care about having a relationship with a man, they'd forego sex altogether and spend their nights studying. Twenty years from now they'll look back on their behavior and recognize their real reasons for doing it.

 

I doubt the NYT will be around to ask them about it then.