Religious Type Of Way Of Life For Single Celibate Only Lay Women

[BarbTherese]

Here is a thread I posted into Vocations Forum titled "Taking The Faith to The Streets" - and perhaps I chose the wrong forum which is for religious life per se and those discerning in some way:

 

http://www.phatmass.com/phorum/topic/130206-taking-the-faith-to-the-streets/

 

As the thread develops, I do go into my concept in more detail.  Should no one express any interest, I am going ahead with it on my own with spiritual direction.  I am in the process of writing a Rule of LIfe.  The way of life has existed for over 30 years now and simply lived out by me without putting anything into writing in the main - as a rule of life per se.  Although,in the very early years, I did write a Rule of Life (approved by my then priest theologian and director living and lecturing in our seminary), but then left it on a bus stop and lost it forever.  I had not heart to write it down once more, and just simply lived the life and a concept I had had for a long time.  My now director (priest and superior of his Order with experience as novice master) feels that now I have lived the life for as long as I have, writing a Rule of LIfe at this point brings more experience to the table- and it does.

Edited July 16, 2013 by BarbaraTherese

[BarbTherese]

This has been a concept that has long been in my mind and is for lay celibate single women - while at this point it is a concept that is developing 'on my feet' as it were. Catholic divorced women with or without an annulment (no dependants) who have never remarried would be accepted, dependant of course on circumstances.  One could retain one's workforce position or be on some form of government benefit.  If one is on a government benefit, some form of voluntary work and also ironing for extra income would be expected.

 

I have been living this same way of life for 30 years now. I began living it while divorced and still in the workforce (private secretary).  Some 6 years after my divorce, an annulment of my marriage was granted.  Under a previous director (priest theologian and lecturing in our seminary then)and in my early years, a rule of life was written but then left on a bus stop and lost. My now director feels I will bring more experience to the table by writing a Rule of Life 30 years further down the line of living the life - and he is quite right.  My now director is a priest and superior in his religious order and has had long experience as a novice master also.

At this point, I am really only looking for one of two single celibate South Australian women to live the life with me. A standard type of attire will be worn as well as secular clothing retained. Initially, it would be best if these women lived the life and rule in their own home with regular meetings with me to revise how things are going. In my residence here, I can accommodate in two others (besides myself) in private bedrooms. We would have a large community room and an oratory area. Hopefully, if I can get it off the ground, I can apply to have the Blessed Eucharist in residence, but this would be down the line - and providing I can get things RIGHT off the ground and the way of life is stable over a few years. If I can find one or two women to live the life with me, standard dress would only apply (with secular clothing also) once we form a live-in community if this happens.

I have grounds sufficiently large and beautifully developed so that we can find solitude for each other.  I live in a very large modern unit with large grounds, 10 mins form the CBD with buses and all conceivable shopping in all directions.  A very large Coles modern supermarket a 5 min walk from Bethany here.  The unit here is in a lovely cul de sac, rather hidden away, with two other units.  It is very private indeed and surrounded by 6ft high modern fences. There is a lovely pergola with roof outside the dining room doors - and with gas bbq.  Lots of plants! Both other units are occupied by elderly women living alone.  It is a HousingSA property and I am regarded as an excellent tenant. Weekly rent is 25% of weekly income.

It needs to be noted that I am not looking to form a religious order as we traditionally know them. My concept would retain our status as lay people and the standard dress or attire would not be a religious habit per se, but standard attire nonetheless with secular clothing retained (very light makeup and equally very light jewellery ok in secular dress).  Secular clothing etc. allows one to blend in to any venue whatsoever we might choose to attend. However, the wide band sterling silver commitment band and sterling silver cross on a leather thong is worn at all times regardless, including with secular attire. This is my current stipulation or rule for myself.  I am not looking to become a secular order of consecrated life either, rather to retain full lay membership.  Private vows of simplicity of life, celibate chastity and obedience to any rightful authority would be made (the provision always is that God's Law transcends all laws and all authority). 

 

I am looking at distributing Catholic material on city and suburban streets/shopping centres and letterboxes.  As well as periodic trips away to country towns and interstate (this can be done cheaply and relatively cheap for interstate) for the same purposes.  During these excursions, the standard dress would be worn.  I am hoping to get some interest rustled up and from a person or persons interested in helping develop this way of life.  It is very much also a life of prayer and simple penance.

 

Some other details (I think) can be found in the Vocations Forum on this thread: http://www.phatmass.com/phorum/topic/130206-taking-the-faith-to-the-streets/

 

Edited July 17, 2013 by BarbaraTherese

[BarbTherese]

Well, I have finished the first draft of a Rule of Life, which will be submitted at my appointment tomorrow with Father.  It is all typed up and in a folder (as well as Word Document) and tonight I will doing a reading (and typing possibly) revision prior to submitting. 

 

It was no easy task, which Father set for me last appointment !

 

What I did was jot down rules for the way I am living in Bethany when alone as the rules occurred to me and jotted them down during my day.  As they occurred, I jotted down the rules for living "out of Bethany as base" when I am abroad for any reason at all.  I spent much of today (apart from a GP appt.) putting things into some sort of order in Word, printed and put into the folder with Contents.  Now I need to read through and make sure on my part that I am happy with it.  I'll do this tonight.  The Rule proper is based on the Our Father, the Pater Noster.  It will be a first edit only I think, subject always to what Father has to say as prime over all things.

 

I did think I would only have the Timetable or Horarium for Father tomorrow since it was a simple matter of putting down what happens already, but once I applied myself prayerfully, my notes seemed to fall into place.  "Seem" being operative!

 

I have also settled on standard wear - nothing like a religious habit apart from silver cross on a leather thong and the commitment ring and only one very easy quite cheap garment to make once I have the material on return from interstate - leaving late September, returning early October. 

 

The garment will be professionally made.  There is a dressmaker around the corner from me here in Bethany.

 

Step by small step.  So far, so good..............no applicants, and this is something of a relief !!! 

 

I have never felt a call to the eremitical life specifically - it just so happens that it happens now and then ,which strictly speaking cannot be called an eremitical life per se at all !    I think I would rather embrace living alone than undertaking the responsibility of formation of another/others into the lifestyle I call "Bethany" (secular life in the laity under private vows to the evangelical counsels) - although Grace would be with me I know once Father gives the nod.  All unfolds in The Lord's time and as He May and that is really great with me, IDEAL! Nothing better!

 

____________

"The Our Father" as a whole Rule of Life occurred to me years ago and I probably read it in some text or other.

Edited August 13, 2013 by BarbaraTherese

[Benedictus]

Here is a thread I posted into Vocations Forum titled "Taking The Faith to The Streets" - and perhaps I chose the wrong forum which is for religious life per se and those discerning in some way:

 

http://www.phatmass.com/phorum/topic/130206-taking-the-faith-to-the-streets/

 

As the thread develops, I do go into my concept in more detail.  Should no one express any interest, I am going ahead with it on my own with spiritual direction.  I am in the process of writing a Rule of LIfe.  The way of life has existed for over 30 years now and simply lived out by me without putting anything into writing in the main - as a rule of life per se.  Although,in the very early years, I did write a Rule of Life (approved by my then priest theologian and director living and lecturing in our seminary), but then left it on a bus stop and lost it forever.  I had not heart to write it down once more, and just simply lived the life and a concept I had had for a long time.  My now director (priest and superior of his Order with experience as novice master) feels that now I have lived the life for as long as I have, writing a Rule of LIfe at this point brings more experience to the table- and it does.

Have you thought about founding/creating a secular institute? Your suggestion sounds similar to this and, I think, would probably be as good, if not better, than some already out there. 

[BarbTherese]

Have you thought about founding/creating a secular institute? Your suggestion sounds similar to this and, I think, would probably be as good, if not better, than some already out there. 

 

 

Thank you very much, Benedictus - very much indeed !  At last a comment and a public question!

 

I am letting my spiritual director guide me in this venture.  Father is Superior in his religious order with many years experience in leadership including Novice Master.  At this point it is a way of life established over 30 years and now I have a Rule of Life sitting on my desk beside me.  Father asked me to write it and will approve/edit as he sees fit.  We begin and end our sessions with prayer. 

“Bethany” has a very long history as a way of life extending back 30 years and it has been quite a journey indeed, quite a journey.  Also research into the name “Bethany” as a small village on the outskirts of Jerusalem has revealed many facts related to Bethany as lifestyle.  I chose the name initially simply because it was where Mary and Martha lived and close friends of Jesus obviously.  Subsequent research has revealed many other matters that fit right in exactly with Bethany as a title for a way of life.  Father will also have this research and my summary today.

 

Bethany was never a concept I then enacted.  It was simply a way of life that unfolded in my path in the days and over time became an established way of living.  The norm.

 

I have several references or statements from religious and priests, lay persons, who have known me well over many years attesting not to the fact that a way of life was established and lived out per se, rather that I had been living an observable (shock to me!) certain way for many years (which happened to be an actual way of life established and lived out over many years).  I neither advertised my private vows to the evangelical counsels nor the actual way of life.  I came out of the closet as it were quite some years ago now due to the fact that private vows to the evangelical counsels was hotly contested in discussion forums as a vocation at all.  This disturbed me at that time – nowadays it is more accepted generally although not yet could it actually be stated as intrinsic to Catholic culture generally as an accepted potential vocation.  But getting there!

 

I think I would be resistant to the concept of a Secular Institute, since this places one out of the lay state of life, the laity, into a consecrated state of life in The Church.  But as I said, I will allow Father to guide and direct me and this venture.

 

I have never felt a call to the eremitical life per se.  And though I live a very busy life indeed for a 68 year old with Bipolar and a severe back injury now being looked into further, there are days when I a completely alone and then it is a day of recollected awareness.  Bethany has unfolded as a contemplative/active way of life which does fit right in with the Martha and Mary story from the New Testament.  I have always longed for a companion for this way of life who was prepared to live it with me i.e. female companion.  Further, if I had at least one companion, then I would be able to evangelise even further afield than I am now doing now - and at a time when Rome is asking specifically the laity to evangelise actively.

I have had experience in monastic life which has informed many matters in the Bethany way of life.

Bethany, however, is essentially in my mind at this point as a way of life for the lay state.

 

But Father will guide me.  My appointment with him is later today.

 

Again, Benedictus, thank you very much for asking the question.  Not many questions at all in my thread to date.  Some have contacted me via PM; however, this can defeat the objective of seeking at least, at least, one other person to live Bethany with me and making the way of life more a matter of the public arena as it were.  But I can be very happy in what The Lord might will, as it unfolds daily, even if it means some little cross and sacrifice on a few levels.  Grace is forever with us.  It is not my vision or desires that will help transform this world for Jesus, it is embracing The Father's Will with detachment and with Peace and with Joy : "[49] And stretching forth his hand towards his disciples, he said: Behold my mother and my brethren. or whosoever shall do the will of my Father, that is in heaven, he is my brother, and sister, and mother." (Matthew Ch12)

 

It is not a question of me doing something for The Lord, rather what The Lord can do through me, if I will only let Him.  I read of a missionary priest who makes this prayer every morning:

 

"Lord, please don't let me get in Your Way today"

 

Thank you so much again for the comment and question, Benedictus!  My heart is dancing with Joy!

 

Barb :)

[Benedictus]

Barb - You know I was thinking about some of the things you wrote and how it may have been expressed in similar ways elsewhere (although differently). Then I thought of the third order fraternities (secular Franciscans) and Benedictine lay oblates, ways of adopting a specific spirituality into everyday lay life with a rule. But somehow I then thought of the Opus Dei organisation- now I know this isn't everyone's cup of tea but the concept of how they live interests me. (How they have a spiritual director, follow an agreed rule of life and norms). They are constituted of married couples, celibate men and women. They make promises not vows. Their calling is to be immersed in the lay state and make their daily tasks holy. So I think there maybe some parallels with your ideas. 

Of course it's also possible to form a lay group that has a strong spirituality, lives together (or not) fairly informally. But I guess the bigger it grows (if this is the aim) then its maybe inevitable that some governance would be necessary to manage procedures and processes to help stop the groups aims being corrupted over time. (I've been connected to a few groups where people have attempted to align it against it aims, and this was made easier because the groups didn't  consider potential problems and the need for strategic governance or oversight. So I'm always cautious about this now :detective: ).

Edited August 14, 2013 by Benedictus

[BarbTherese]

Thank you once again, Benedictus.

 

Certainly, I have no immediate aims to grow big.  In fact, until fairly recently I had not plans at all to grow.  At the moment, I am just taking things day by day and probably at this stage the most important factor is that The Rule is in the hands of Father (a well educated, experienced and what strikes me as a holy priest loyal to the Magisterium).  He will be away until October and has left me with 'homework'.  I am very reluctant indeed to get involved in anything already organized by my experiences to date with actual organizations within The Church here in Australia.  I certainly have not been in contact with all of them, but with some of them.  The one's with whom I have had contact experience considerable suspicion because I suffer Bipolar and the feeling I got was that if I blinked twice, I would be the immediate focus of suspicion.  And this contact was only ever as an individual with a specific way of life.  My doctor is of the opinion that I should not tell them that I suffer Bipolar.  The other things is that we have a considerable influence by those liberally minded and this can be dependant on each current leadership in existing organizations.  I certainly am very wary of coming under leadership that could change and in a liberal direction.

 

Here in South Australia, our diocese seems to have a focus on the priesthood vocation wise.  Secular Institutes are in very short supply, even Opus Dei is interstate.

 

I have been in contact with secular orders overseas and the Carmelite O.Carm "The Leaven" secular institute certainly expressed considerable interest with me as a "distant member" but to my way of thought, distant membership while an option with some is not really the best.  One needs personal contact with one's community if one is going to join a community.  Also overseas organizations would require at least one visit (too little to my mind) and even one visit would mean I would have to suspend for quite some considerable time channels into which some of my funds are directed and I am reluctant to do this while I save for return travel overseas.  My funds are very limited and I am regarded as below poverty level.

 

At this point, I'm letting Father look over and edit as necessary the Rule - once that is complete I will take it from there.  I am praying about things and simply watching any unfoldings, and your input is amongst it, with an ear to the ground as it were.  Father, at this point, seems to have no interest in pointing me towards established organizations and I have not put this question to him.  Thank you for raising the issue as I will be putting it to him in the future as a question - along with communicating my experiences to date.  Father has expressed no reluctance towards me re Bipolar.  He seems to be taking things where I am at with a view to the future only.  Certainly, my psychiatrist is more than willing to give me a statement about my current mental health with diagnosis for the future.  Father does not want this.

 

Oh memory tells me that I did mention one Third Order here in Australia with the reasons I did not go through with it.   Father accepted what I had to say with no questions or comment whatsoever.

 

Although I never planned my life to live alone.  It is simply as it has unfolded and it may unfold this way in the future.  If so, so be it.  As you can see from this thread there seems to be no interest and not even a little interest - other than your input which is most appreciated.  I have had some PM's but obviously such members do wish to keep their questions/interest private and none of these were real candidates it seemed, just curious.  But then vocation and call starts out somewhere and often very low key indeed.

 

Patience

[BarbTherese]

Great news.  I have been able to reorganize the days I do voluntary office work in a charity and I will be able to go to Mass before work twice on weekdays.  Some weeks, I will be able to attend on three days. As of last Wednesday 14.8.13, Father has the typed and 'bound' Rule in his hands for perusal, edit if necessary -  and then approval.  Father is away for most of September and I see him again in October after I return from interstate.

 

:dance:

 

I have more good news too, but discretion and prudence tells me to wait before sharing.  Man oh man, does patience come to me only after many, many, mountains to climb. :think2:

 

 

 

 

Edited August 16, 2013 by BarbaraTherese

[Winchester]

I think the last four words result in a contradictory concept.

Edited August 16, 2013 by Winchester

[BarbTherese]

I think the last four words result in a contradictory concept.

 

Thank you very much for the comment, Winchester.  I am very happy that this thread is being read.  All comments are really appreciated including critical commentary, which just might help me along the way.  The Holy Spirit wears many garments indeed. However, I am not too sure at all what you might mean precisely, can you spell it out for me?  I'm going to have a go at responding anyway and can sight that perhaps I said it all wrong.  Nothing new!  I had a wonderful experience at work the other day where our big boss took what I said the wrong way (I've been in the job 2 weeks only) and the way he took it made me suspect.  At first concerned, the immediate thought came to me "Over time, he will discover I am not like that at all".  I simply said the wrong word, which has a cultural connotation.  The word can be taken two ways but I never realised this until a while later.  Reflecting later on his reaction also, I think that he probably did take my statement the wrong way.  Life, I love You - and it is Life, and Life only.

 

 For me personally, the journey to date has been "a mountain to climb" and being challenge orientated through conditioning, I really enjoy a challenge.  If I happen not to have a challenge (goal) somewhere or other, then I present myself with one.  I can always change and grow in a positive direction and in many areas indeed.  Patience, however, and an outstanding virtue of my Dad and one of my brothers, does not come easy to me at all.  Patience can present me with a veritable Mt Everest! Oh, I can be very patient indeed, very.  However to me it is more of a fluke and real victory of Grace now and then moreso than a standard virtue for sure.

 

I have really great news to share, but discretion and prudence (I hope) inform me to wait until it is all officially confirmed from my director's desk - I will be devastated if it is not affirmed, but then "devestation" has positive use too.  Not only this, I can be doggedly persistent if assured I am right and moving in the right direction - unless of course my director puts his foot down and he has the casting vote always.  He does not strike me as the authoritarian type to date, he discusses things in an adult to adult manner and prior to making any sort of statement, declaration or directive.  To date.

 

All unfolds as The Lord may will.  And once again, thank you very much indeed for the comment.

[BarbTherese]

Just to keep things tidy, in other threads I have quoted from post V2 documents re the single celibate chaste state in the laity as a very real potential vocation in life. I can locate these other quotations easily.  To round things off, in the quotation box below is an Encyclical from Pope Pius XII and pre Vatican2 which is quite specific.  I knew I had read something very specific from Rome on the single celibate chaste lay vocation from pre V2 days, but could not recall where.  I recently stumbled over it:

 

http://www.vatican.va/holy_father/pius_xii/encyclicals/documents/hf_p-xii_enc_25031954_sacra-virginitas_en.html

 

Papal Encyclical :   Sacra Virginitas (On Consecrated Life)

Pope Pius XII

 

 

........."6. And while this perfect chastity is the subject of one of the three vows which constitute the religious state,[9] and is also required by the Latin Church of clerics in major orders[10] and demanded from members of Secular Institutes,[11] it also flourishes among many who are lay people in the full sense: men and women who are not constituted in a public state of perfection and yet by private promise or vow completely abstain from marriage and sexual pleasures, in order to serve their neighbor more freely and to be united with God more easily and more closely.

7. To all of these beloved sons and daughters who in any way have consecrated their bodies and souls to God, We address Ourselves, and exhort them earnestly to strengthen their holy resolution and be faithful to it."

 

 

 

 

[BarbTherese]

Keeping things tidy in this thread again.

 

Recently threads were closed or moved from Vocation Station to Debate Table, because issues raised in VS were being debated:

 

I would just like to point out that while we cannot go back and determine who/what caused some of these threads to turn into debates, it is my understanding of the new rules that if someone were to post a new thread for "pictures and fun" about consecrated virginity in Vocation Station, it would be against the rules to initiate a debate in such a thread, as it should be a safe place for discussion of discernment regarding consecrated virginity as well, and anyone who believes that someone's view on consecrated virginity is incorrect would need to start a thread in the debate table rather than trying to correct them within their Vocation Station thread. 

 

as all these controversies are rather bewildering to the moderating team, quite frankly, I do hope the position is clarified now and I am not stepping on any sorts of landmines here :P

 

 

Good suggestion.  If I want to debate a point raised in Vocation Station, I can put a post into the thread in question that I am responding in the Debate Table.  That will then raise the issue for debate and as a thread title in DT.

 

I have posted about private vows to the evangelical counsels into Open Mic because Vocations Forum apparently is strictly for priesthood and religious life (religious life is stated specifically not broadening the state to "consecrated life" to cover other vocations in the consecrated state).  But rather severely restricting and limiting the forum is an executive/administrative decision.

 

Private vows to the evangelical counsels are recognized by Lumen Genium, and also Vita Consecrata as a valid vocational state.  The state in life is not covered in Canon Law other than in the "Vows" setion.  Certainly Vita Consecrata by Pope John Paul II calls a private consecration of one's life to God as a "special consecration" in the consecrated state.   Also private vows are very specifically stated in : "Sacra Virginitas" (On Consecrated Life") Pre V2 Encyclical Pius XII.

 

Private vows to the evangelical counsels in the lay state in secular life still struggles, however, to find it's place in our Catholic cultural consciousness as a valid vocational call in it's own right.  It is still culturally viewed rather often as somehow opting out of consecrated life or marriage, priesthood - which it most definitely is not.  It is a distinct call of its own.  Probably not one of the most common calls and vocations however, which cannot render it therefore invalid.

 

 

Sacra Virginitas: Note: Pre V2 Pius X11     "6. And while this perfect chastity is the subject of one of the three vows which constitute the religious state,[9] and is also required by the Latin Church of clerics in major orders[10] and demanded from members of Secular Institutes,[11] it also flourishes among many who are lay people in the full sense: men and women who are not constituted in a public state of perfection and yet by private promise or vow completely abstain from marriage and sexual pleasures, in order to serve their neighbor more freely and to be united with God more easily and more closely.

 

Lumen Gentium: "in a very special way this (holiness) appears in the practice of the counsels, customarily called "evangelical." This practice of the counsels, under the impulsion of the Holy Spirit (footnote), undertaken by many Christians, either privately or in a Church-approved condition or state of life, gives and must give in the world an outstanding witness and example of this same holiness."

 

 

Vita Consecrata: "Together let us thank God for the Religious Orders and Institutes devoted to contemplation or the works of the apostolate, for Societies of Apostolic Life, for Secular Institutes and for other groups of consecrated persons, as well as for all those individuals who, in their inmost hearts, dedicate themselves to God by a special consecration.