Racist Parents Question

[Nihil Obstat]

You should not do unnecessary work on a Sunday. Sunday is the Christian sabbath, and it is a day of rest. God made that day for us because we need a day of rest in a crazy world. Love trumps legalism, but rules are there for our good.

In the past it would have been considered a mortal sin to do more than a minimal amount of manual labour on a Sunday.

Nobody talks about it these days, but it is not like right and wrong changed recently. Definitely unnecessary work is to be avoided if at all possible.

[CatholicsAreKewl]

Well, I'm a little nervous to say this. But being against interracial dating/marriage is not necessarily racist.  The distinction is razor thin so I'll try to tread carefully.

I have been the only white girl in a circle of friends, and they were quite clear that it would not be their favorite thing if I dated one of our mutual black friends.Because I was white. Not because they thought white people were inferior or less than in anyway. They tried to explain it, and the most I could make of it was that they felt men and women in the black community had a "responsibility" to each other. 

I have had my heartbroken because I crushed on a boy who turned out to be a secular Jew and his mother wanted him to marry a racially Jewish girl (religion unimportant) As a teenager I raged, but now I see that her thinking did not spring from a hatred of non-Jews but a treasuring of her own culture.

 

It seems like white people against inter-racial dating would be motivated by nothing but racism. (I am not opposed to it, in case that isn't clear)  But maybe you could ask them. Why? Why are they against it?  Probably it is racism. But their answer might give you some additional insight.

 

True. There's a difference between saying "I want to marry a white guy" vs. "Eww. I wouldn't marry a hispanic."

I think what you're referring to is tribalism, which is potentially as bad as racism and leadz to similar problems. Wanting to preserve one's culture is fine, but when it gets to the point where x is telling other people who they can and cannot date dats stupid.

Edited July 11, 2013 by CatholicsAreKewl

[Nihil Obstat]

True. There's a difference between saying "I want to marry a white guy" vs. "Eww. I wouldn't marry a hispanic."

I think what you're referring to is tribalism, which is potentially as bad as racism and leadz to similar problems. Wanting to preserve one's culture is fine, but when it gets to the point where x is telling other people who they can and cannot date dats stupid.

I think family 'tribalism' has the potential to be a positive force, at least in a certain sense of the word. But racial tribalism, like we are talking about, freaks me right out.

[CatholicsAreKewl]

I think family 'tribalism' has the potential to be a positive force, at least in a certain sense of the word. But racial tribalism, like we are talking about, freaks me right out.

 

Hmm. I would have to spend an afternoon pondering whether I agree with you. There's always the whole problem with feuds between large families. Family tribalism is similar to racial tribalism but on a smaller scale, no? Before you say, "But the whole marriage thing doesn't apply with family tribalism :lol: ," remember that the idea of not marrying Uncle Steve's daughter is a relatively new concept.

Edited July 11, 2013 by CatholicsAreKewl

[Nihil Obstat]

Hmm. I would have to spend an afternoon pondering whether I agree with you. There's always the whole problem with feuds between large families. Family tribalism is similar to racial tribalism but on a smaller scale, no? Before you say, "But the whole marriage thing doesn't apply with family tribalism :lol: ," remember that the concept of not marrying Uncle Steve's daughter is pretty new.

There are definitely problems associated with it. But I have a feeling that a cultural shift towards placing greater value on the family, including the extended family, could be valuable. Obviously there is not much value placed on the family in today's western culture.

I will not deny that it is similar to racial tribalism, but to me the ickiest part of racial tribalism is the racial aspect itself. That to me is a very gross criterion to consider. But the family is something different, because the family is actually valuable in and of itself.

[CatholicsAreKewl]

There are definitely problems associated with it. But I have a feeling that a cultural shift towards placing greater value on the family, including the extended family, could be valuable. Obviously there is not much value placed on the family in today's western culture.

I will not deny that it is similar to racial tribalism, but to me the ickiest part of racial tribalism is the racial aspect itself. That to me is a very gross criterion to consider. But the family is something different, because the family is actually valuable in and of itself.

 

True. I kind of think of racial tribalism as family tribalism with a very large member base. I agree with you, though.

[Nihil Obstat]

True. I kind of think of racial tribalism as family tribalism with a very large member base. I agree with you, though.

Granted, it does get kind of blurry when we are looking at a historical context of perhaps hundreds of years, in a culture and ethnic group that may be somewhat isolated. The family ties become quite similar to the racial ties. The European royal families were/are a pretty obvious example. I would imagine feudal Japan was similar in that sense.

[PhuturePriest]

Granted, it does get kind of blurry when we are looking at a historical context of perhaps hundreds of years, in a culture and ethnic group that may be somewhat isolated. The family ties become quite similar to the racial ties. The European royal families were/are a pretty obvious example. I would imagine feudal Japan was similar in that sense.

 

I was actually told that marrying a girl who lives in Japan is incredibly difficult, as the Japanese are one of the worst countries in the world about keeping their population pure. Someone told me their friend had to break off his engagement entirely because his fiancee's family said if they got married they were cutting off all ties completely.

[Nihil Obstat]

I was actually told that marrying a girl who lives in Japan is incredibly difficult, as the Japanese are one of the worst countries in the world about keeping their population pure. Someone told me their friend had to break off his engagement entirely because his fiancee's family said if they got married they were cutting off all ties completely.

Japan has quite a reputation for being rather xenophobic, in several different, distinct ways. If you became involved with a Japanese national you would probably encounter many of those problems. Might have better luck with a Japanese expat, since for one reason or another they would have chosen to disassociate themselves with Japanese culture to some extent.

Of course every individual is different, so of course you would find Japanese nationals who would have no qualms whatsoever.

[franciscanheart]

PROTIP: You can't be a "little racist". You either are racist or you aren't. You can't bake a turd in a cake and tell people that it's only a little bit of a turd cake.

Race is still a huge issue today. Tired of getting facebook status updates saying "forgive Paula Deen" heck there was even a thread on here embracing Brad Paisley.

You've clearly never listened to / seen Avenue Q.

[Nihil Obstat]

"Now, don't be mad, but I'm a liiiiittle bit of a racist. :sweat: "
"Oh really? You're a racist"
"Yep."
"No you're not."
"What?"
"No, you're not."
"Yes I am, I'm... I'm a huge... I'm a huge racist."
"No... no you're not."
"Yeah I am. I'm racist every day... all the time."
"Well then call me the n-word."
"What? Why?"
"Call me the n-word."
 
http://youtu.be/3A_jeCAfn0E

Edited July 11, 2013 by Nihil Obstat

[Guest]

Unfortunately people commit a lot of grave sins and think it's just dandy and still go to Mass every week and call themselves Catholic. (I mean, we're ALL sinners, but I'm talking about those who persist in grave sins and deny that it's a sin at all, like people who contracept and decide it's fine because "the Church is outdated and they'll change their minds" or some bullhockey.)

I think the best approach for FP in this case is probably to just talk about the Church's teaching on social justice (like the CCC quote Dust provided) when the subject comes up. I wouldn't recommend bringing it up constantly, as a parent I can't imagine that would go well, and I wouldn't recommend ignoring it, either. Develop some good points of discussion or references to refute those bizarre ideas they have about race and use them when the occasion arises. You may never change their minds. If you can, though, it's not likely to happen over night.

Props. I think racism is one of the worse sins. Jesus said to sum up the commandments we should love our neighbor like ourselves. Or something like that. So if you don't love people of other colors then I don't know how you can call yourself a christian with a straight face.

[Guest]

My mom and stepdad were the same way when I was growing up. I'm not sure what their opinions are now but i know where you're coming from future priest.

Edited July 11, 2013 by Guest

[Guest]

I think theres a lot of white racist catholics in america. I would venture to say theres more white racist catholics in america then there are racist black protestants.

Edited July 11, 2013 by Guest

[Nihil Obstat]

Props. I think racism is one of the worse sins. Jesus said to sum up the commandments we should love our neighbor like ourselves. Or something like that. So if you don't love people of other colors then I don't know how you can call yourself a christian with a straight face.

I want to say this delicately; please do not take it the wrong way.

You struggle with sins too. Different ones, but grave nonetheless. And you are Catholic, no matter how much you struggle with those sins. You are Catholic when you are successful at resisting those sins, and you are Catholic when you fail.

If one person's particular sin to deal with is that they have to overcome racial prejudices, then we should try to treat that with the same sensitivity as someone who is particularly inclined to alcoholism or masturbation or inappropriate anger.