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Relationship Question


Anastasia13

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And it ends there the minute you marry?

 

Please note that I had edited my post to add a sentence at the beginning.  Kindly read it in that context.

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If I spent the last decade going to school and volunteering to get a better job and change the world, and I wanted to travel since I was 13, and have not been on a family vacation since I visited relatives when I was six, am I really to expect that I will be happy giving that up for a guy who doesn't care about any of that?

 

 

Probably not.  

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I like this idea!  Wear a habit and a mask; wield a huge gun, and be called The Nun with the Big Bad Gun.  It's a good idea to have a backup firearm and a melee weapon too though.  Maybe you want to adhesive a steel Crucifix right over your heart.  Let us know if you need a sidekick too.  

 

This sounds like a female version of "The Bishop", except that the C of E is planning on allowing female bishops sometime in the future. 

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On the other hand, how would your husband and children feel if you neglect them to spend all your time volunteering to "change the world"?  As a wife and mother, your job will be to change the world by raising good solid Catholic children and being a mutual support for your husband.  You won't need to go to Zambia to do that. 

 

 

Right.  She should probably just keep a bed in the kitchen so she can fulfill bother her functions in the same room.  

 

Muck Fisogyny 

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Anastasia13

On the other hand, how would your husband and children feel if you neglect them to spend all your time volunteering to "change the world"?  As a wife and mother, your job will be to change the world by raising good solid Catholic children and being a mutual support for your husband.  You won't need to go to Zambia to do that. 

 

I don't want to neglect my husband and children, I just am thinking it would be easier if the husband wanted something more in life than a wife, a couch, and a house in the middle of nowhere. Am I wrong? And if I am not wrong, how then do I identify a good man who would be a good husband?

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I don't want to neglect my husband and children, I just am thinking it would be easier if the husband wanted something more in life than a wife, a couch, and a house in the middle of nowhere. Am I wrong? And if I am not wrong, how then do I identify a good man who would be a good husband?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?NR=1&v=trtdEg34eII&feature=fvwp

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I don't want to neglect my husband and children, I just am thinking it would be easier if the husband wanted something more in life than a wife, a couch, and a house in the middle of nowhere. Am I wrong? And if I am not wrong, how then do I identify a good man who would be a good husband?

 

First of all, I got "target fixated" on the whole "I want to change the world" juxtaposed right next to the travel statement. 

 

Youthful idealism is nice, but once one enters the real world, reality smacks you in the head.  HARD. 

 

What exactly is the issue, travelling or volunteering?  Maybe I misunderstood your original post.

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Anastasia13

Youthful idealism is nice, but once one enters the real world, reality smacks you in the head.  HARD.

Comments like this p*** me off. Here is some reality for you that I have found since graduating college. Outside of starting a business (which I have not done yet), the best thing I can do or have done for my career outside of school is volunteering because it gave me good experience. My youthful idealism just upped my salary with a new job in a position where I still get to help people in need, and some of the riches people I have met worked in politics-a field where people can make a difference beyond their driveway even if they do have to make a few other compromises or in some organizations not drive a BMW.

 

Idealism is so much for the young and deluded that I am personally acquainted with the near middle aged owners of an organization that helps sick children which was not started until after their sick kid died. Just the other week I heard a news story about a woman helping youth understand the significance of school violence and appreciate the lives that letting it happen costs because her son was shot at his school.

 

Not everyone who wants to change the world is under the illusion that they will save every lost soul and hungry child, but only those in extreme circumstances and those who lack faith and creativity believe that they can't do anything to change the world.

 

If I am wrong, show me where I am wrong, otherwise, don't tell me that idealism is only for the young. Idealism is simply best served with wisdom.

Edited by Light and Truth
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southern california guy

I don't want to neglect my husband and children, I just am thinking it would be easier if the husband wanted something more in life than a wife, a couch, and a house in the middle of nowhere. Am I wrong? And if I am not wrong, how then do I identify a good man who would be a good husband?

He has "a house in the middle of nowhere"?  That sounds like me...  (Former date): "Why don't you quit all that stupid gardening, sell your place, and buy a condo on the beach.  (Me) "Because I don't want to.."

 

It doesn't sound like you want to live where he does either..... 

 

I think that I'm as qualified as anybody to give bad advice... so I think that you should wait to get married and do a bit of travelling -- perhaps with friends rather than him since he doesn't want to.  The travelling will be more difficult later anyway -- when you have kids.

Edited by southern california guy
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  • 2 weeks later...
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Anastasia13

What exactly is the issue, travelling or volunteering?  Maybe I misunderstood your original post.

 

I think it is that I feel a need to be connected to and explore the world (even though fear of exploring on occasion holds me back like economic opportunity, but I don't want to live my life based on fear or passing up opportunities when I have have them), and I feel the need to do something that impacts the world outside of my home and tiny pocket of friends. I think this comes from feeling disconnected at times as a child in addition to my tendency to feel some sort of responsibility to help where I can and working with my own strengths.

 

This is a guy who wants a home in the middle of nowhere where he can play in the dirt with his kids, cares about being involved in politics because I care-not because he cares about that for himself or he would be properly registered for vote at least, does not have the same drive to achieve in financially or career-wise that I feel like I have had to have in order to get anywhere, and sometimes feels out of place in places where I want to explore.

Edited by Light and Truth
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