Poorly Catechized Convert Posted June 28, 2013 Share Posted June 28, 2013 Recently, I stumbled across something called asexuality. Basically they don't experience sexual attraction, but still can desire to have a relationship that could lead to marriage. They'd be in love with their spouse, but they wouldn't be sexually attracted him or her. So my question is, if a Catholic asexual met another asexual and they both decided to have sex for children and then no more, could they validly her married in the Church? Also, if an asexual was to marry someone who wasn't would the Church allow them to marry if the asexual person was willing to have sex to meet the needs of their spouse? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MIKolbe Posted June 28, 2013 Share Posted June 28, 2013 Follow up question.... Can one turn their wife into an asexual? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anastasia13 Posted June 28, 2013 Share Posted June 28, 2013 Follow up question.... Can one turn their wife into an asexual? No. It's not a matter of whether one is attracted to their spouse, it is whether or not the wife has any sexual attraction that she experiences. Women do tend to a more emotionally driven sex drive more along the lines of demisexuals though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anastasia13 Posted June 28, 2013 Share Posted June 28, 2013 (edited) Recently, I stumbled across something called asexuality. Basically they don't experience sexual attraction, but still can desire to have a relationship that could lead to marriage. They'd be in love with their spouse, but they wouldn't be sexually attracted him or her. So my question is, if a Catholic asexual met another asexual and they both decided to have sex for children and then no more, could they validly her married in the Church? Also, if an asexual was to marry someone who wasn't would the Church allow them to marry if the asexual person was willing to have sex to meet the needs of their spouse? Several years ago, someone here mentioned something about a special dispensation or something for couples that want to marry but won't have sex. I don't know if that would be necessary if they had sex to reproduce. They should talk to their priest, imo. Marriage is not out of the question. I cannot imagine why the Church would not allow a couple to marry if the asexual one was willing to have sex (some actually are though some are more repulsed by it. There is a range among asexuals). This of course presumes that they are different genders. Asexuals come in hetero-romantic, homo-romantic, or non-romantic, much like sexuals. Edited June 28, 2013 by Light and Truth Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
arfink Posted June 28, 2013 Share Posted June 28, 2013 It really depends on how you want to define the term asexual. Does asexual mean they have no sex drive at all? Incapable of arousal entirely? Or just not under usual circumstances? Or are we talking about something physical, in which they do not have functional reproductive organs? The term seems more than a little nebulous to me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anastasia13 Posted June 28, 2013 Share Posted June 28, 2013 It really depends on how you want to define the term asexual. Does asexual mean they have no sex drive at all? Incapable of arousal entirely? Or just not under usual circumstances? Or are we talking about something physical, in which they do not have functional reproductive organs? The term seems more than a little nebulous to me. In theory it is nebulous, granted, but in the context of this conversation, it was most likely discovered with regard to those who do not have sex drives. Asexual people or aces as they are called do not experience sexual attraction. Not under normal circumstances would fit a definition of demisexual. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Poorly Catechized Convert Posted June 28, 2013 Author Share Posted June 28, 2013 (edited) It really depends on how you want to define the term asexual. Does asexual mean they have no sex drive at all? Incapable of arousal entirely? Or just not under usual circumstances? Or are we talking about something physical, in which they do not have functional reproductive organs? The term seems more than a little nebulous to me. In this case the person would be fully capably of being sexually aroused and would be fertile. They'd just lack sexual attraction/desire. Several years ago, someone here mentioned something about a special dispensation or something for couples that want to marry but won't have sex. I don't know if that would be necessary if they had sex to reproduce. They should talk to their priest, imo. Marriage is not out of the question. I cannot imagine why the Church would not allow a couple to marry if the asexual one was willing to have sex (some actually are though some are more repulsed by it. There is a range among asexuals). This of course presumes that they are different genders. Asexuals come in hetero-romantic, homo-romantic, or non-romantic, much like sexuals. Thanks for the informative reply. Edited June 28, 2013 by Poorly Catechized Convert Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Poorly Catechized Convert Posted June 29, 2013 Author Share Posted June 29, 2013 Sorry to double post, but I wanted to get some additional opinions before I let this thread die. I find this topic interesting, but I can never find discussions on it from a religious standpoint. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PhuturePriest Posted June 29, 2013 Share Posted June 29, 2013 In this case the person would be fully capably of being sexually aroused and would be fertile. They'd just lack sexual attraction/desire. Thanks for the informative reply. I see no reason why they wouldn't be able to get married. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
arfink Posted June 29, 2013 Share Posted June 29, 2013 I don't believe that would be an impediment to marriage, although in our current scheme of canon law, a spouse interested in living a sex-less or so-called "Josephite" marriage would almost certainly prove to be adequate grounds for an annulment. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PhuturePriest Posted June 29, 2013 Share Posted June 29, 2013 I don't believe that would be an impediment to marriage, although in our current scheme of canon law, a spouse interested in living a sex-less or so-called "Josephite" marriage would almost certainly prove to be adequate grounds for an annulment. Indeed. So long as the asexual person agrees to have sex regularly and not annually once a year, you're good to go. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CatherineM Posted June 29, 2013 Share Posted June 29, 2013 Technically they just have to have sex once for a valid marriage. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
arfink Posted June 29, 2013 Share Posted June 29, 2013 Technically they just have to have sex once for a valid marriage. Correct. Though I have heard of tribunals annulling the marriage anyway. But the topic of what tribunals ought or ought not to do is for another time and another thread. :P Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Poorly Catechized Convert Posted June 29, 2013 Author Share Posted June 29, 2013 (edited) Ok so if the asexual person did agree to have frequent sex, couldn't there still be unnecessary tension in the marriage? Isn't there a chance that the asexual person becomes tired of having sex and thus causes problems with their spouse? I guess this could be resolved with good communication and a good spiritual director. Also, it seems that there is the possibility that, even with sex, the non-asexual could be unsatisfied. I'd imagine that they'd be able to tell that their husband or wife wasn't as into sex as they were. Wouldn't this be unfair? Edited June 29, 2013 by Poorly Catechized Convert Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
arfink Posted June 29, 2013 Share Posted June 29, 2013 Obviously this is the kind of thing you'd want to discuss before you get married to someone... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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