savvy Posted June 25, 2013 Share Posted June 25, 2013 As I prepare to enter religious life. My Mum is concerned about what happens in case, things do not work out. She wants me to have a back-up plan by setting money aside etc. I do not want to, because I am giving my life to God, and keeping something, may not be an act of total surrender. I am caught in the middle, and do not know what to do. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Annie12 Posted June 25, 2013 Share Posted June 25, 2013 (edited) Since I don't know your mom, I can give you the greatest advice but I would say that you should come up with some "plan" so to ease her mind. She is your mom and she is worried about you. You should also tell her that Jesus will take care of all your needs and that trusting in him is the most important thing. Its sounds to me like she need reassurement that you will be okay and won't end up on the street. She may be a little anxious. I think if you do have some sort of a "back up plan", even though it wont be for your ease of mind, your mom will greatly appreciate it. I'm not saying you need to pour hours of thought into it either. Just something simple just to make her more confident that Jesus will take care of you no matter what. Most of all pray about this. God will show you what to do more than I can. I agree with you about setting aside the money. If you don't want to, I don't advise it. Edited June 25, 2013 by Annie12 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
To Jesus Through Mary Posted June 25, 2013 Share Posted June 25, 2013 As I prepare to enter religious life. My Mum is concerned about what happens in case, things do not work out. She wants me to have a back-up plan by setting money aside etc. I do not want to, because I am giving my life to God, and keeping something, may not be an act of total surrender. I am caught in the middle, and do not know what to do. You don't technically have to give up your savings until final vows in most communities. A lot of people keep their savings. I know I am glad I did. But maybe you can talk with your SD about it. I don't think it is holding back, but prudence as you are discerning until you take final vows (and then you continue discerning God's will ;) ) but that is just my take on it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MarysLittleFlower Posted June 25, 2013 Share Posted June 25, 2013 It might be best to speak to your SD about this :) or if you don't have a spiritual director, speak to a priest. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FutureSister2009 Posted June 25, 2013 Share Posted June 25, 2013 I've been thinking about that too. I know there is a possiblity that things may not work out for me. That's why I've been thinking about grad school and stuff just in case Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
photosynthesis Posted June 25, 2013 Share Posted June 25, 2013 If you have savings and join a religious order, what are you supposed to do with the money? Are you supposed to give it to the order, or are you supposed to donate it to charity or give it to your family? I never had this issue when I was discerning religious life because I was broke :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maximillion Posted June 25, 2013 Share Posted June 25, 2013 I can't agree that not having a back up plan means that one trusts God any less than the person who does have one. You may discern out, which won't be a failure, and not having to rely absolutely on others for support if this happens can only be seen as thinking well of them, not thinking less of God.In addition it will set your mum's fears to rest and make your entry easier on her. Sr Faith Cecilia's story as well as that of nunsense both come to mind......... I doubt if the plans wise nunsense made for meeting the eventuality of discerning out has ever meant that she was less than fully given..... The two are by no means incompatible. Keep a bit of money back and don't give away/get rid of absolutely everything. You can think about it some more once Clothing comes along. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
To Jesus Through Mary Posted June 25, 2013 Share Posted June 25, 2013 If you have savings and join a religious order, what are you supposed to do with the money? Are you supposed to give it to the order, or are you supposed to donate it to charity or give it to your family? I never had this issue when I was discerning religious life because I was broke :) It may differ from order to order, but the order I was with, we had the option to give it to whoever we liked. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nikita92 Posted June 25, 2013 Share Posted June 25, 2013 I struggle with this Savvy! Because I am "older" I have a whole household to have to deal with in regards to disposing of it's contents etc.i am a realist, so therefor I consider the very real fact of discerning out as always a possibility. Therefor, having a safety net in place.. Is logical and very much a consideration. Even if it is to help disapate your mother's concerns etc I think #1-it's not a bad idea and #2- Mother's know best! ;) Pray to our dear Mother Mary in that she may give you so peace of mind on this! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sister Marie Posted June 25, 2013 Share Posted June 25, 2013 You don't technically have to give up your savings until final vows in most communities. A lot of people keep their savings. I know I am glad I did. But maybe you can talk with your SD about it. I don't think it is holding back, but prudence as you are discerning until you take final vows (and then you continue discerning God's will ;) ) but that is just my take on it. This is 100% correct. You are making a commitment with your whole heart right now to DISCERN, not to stay somewhere forever. Formation is a time to see if you are called to the community and to be formed in their spirit so that at the end of the many years of formation one can truly say with their whole heart - "I give myself forever." I would be worried if you had a complete back up plan (job, shelter, plans) because it might be tempting to think of as an "out" when times are difficult in formation BUT keeping your savings and protecting your assets while you are discerning is a prudent and good thing to do. This way you can really be free to discern. Savvy, how soon are you entering? It seems that you should have some time still to pray over and think about these things. That could be a comfort to your mother as well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cmaD2006 Posted June 25, 2013 Share Posted June 25, 2013 I agree with what everyone has said ... it is very prudent to not give everything up. The backup plan is important. I mean, don't plan on where to live afterwards, or a job, etc. But -- if you have savings, then keep it. Your 401k or retirement account is another thing too -- I found out that unless you are making solemn vows of poverty you *can* keep those accounts until you reach retirement age. In that case, if you are a member of a community then you would turn over what you would get in retirement to the community for your care. Be careful too. The community I was last with in Argentina would have probably convinced me to cash the retirement out if I had told them about it. I'm just glad that the 1st community that I entered was truthful with me and told me what was allowed. Clothes -- I would choose some set of clothing (basic stuff) that your family can keep. It is important because if you do leave you may have nothing and not even have enough money to go get clothing. Finally having some savings does turn out to be important. I ended up using every dime of my savings to reestablish myself once I left argentina. I actually had $100 to my name once I was done ... and then the 1st paycheck came in :). The 1st time -- something very similar happened too. So trust the Lord in this, and save what you think is best. (But I strongly suggest saving SOMETHING vs nothing). Anyway this is my opinion from my own experience. :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
truthfinder Posted June 25, 2013 Share Posted June 25, 2013 Communities used to mandate that dowries were brought in so that if you left you would at least have something. There are many reasons why in some places this practise discontinued, but it most surely did not come from a sense that a sister was not giving her all to God if she had a dowry on the side. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Antigonos Posted June 25, 2013 Share Posted June 25, 2013 I can't agree that not having a back up plan means that one trusts God any less than the person who does have one. You may discern out, which won't be a failure, and not having to rely absolutely on others for support if this happens can only be seen as thinking well of them, not thinking less of God.In addition it will set your mum's fears to rest and make your entry easier on her. Sr Faith Cecilia's story as well as that of nunsense both come to mind......... I doubt if the plans wise nunsense made for meeting the eventuality of discerning out has ever meant that she was less than fully given..... The two are by no means incompatible. Keep a bit of money back and don't give away/get rid of absolutely everything. You can think about it some more once Clothing comes along. There's a saying that "God helps those who help themselves". Common sense and practicality are not incompatible with surrendering one's life to God. I would certainly, until first profession, and possibly even until solemn profession, maintain some sort of reserve. It may sound somewhat anthropomorphic, but I think God would definitely approve; I can see Him smiling and nodding, and thinking, now, that girl's got sense! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheresaThoma Posted June 25, 2013 Share Posted June 25, 2013 It makes sense not to completely cut things off. Keeping a bank account open and such is prudent. You can always close them out when you make final values but will be very helpful if you end up discerning out. At one point I was struggling about whether to finish my degree and I was advised by a priest friend to continue with my degree. So that I could be truely free to discern and not have to feel like I would no options. That way I would know if I was choosing to stay it was completely free and not because I felt like I have no other option. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
savvy Posted June 26, 2013 Author Share Posted June 26, 2013 Thanks for all the great advice. I am entering in September. I will use the candidacy as a discerning period. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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