Finding Our Identity

[Annie12]

Hey folks! (I'm not sure about starting a thread like this. but I need some advice)

 

I'm searching for my identity. Now, I was going to title this thread "Finding our Identity in Christ" but the problem is I don't even think I know who I am. Like, I know who I am right now but THIS isn't me. I have (because of my circumstances in life) forced myself into a mold where I have to be "perfect" and from this platform I never have to deal with anyone else having issues with me. But, lately I have realize that this is not entirely bullet proof. I have always been seen as the ditzy, innocent, shy catholic girl. And, I have just realized that I am only that way because it where I can best go under the radar (Like I don't ever want to say anything intelligent in front of my friends because I fear that I would come off as a "know it all"). But, I'm not sure how to balance out finding myself and staying true to my roots. I feel like I'm an electric guitar in a classical guitar shell. Has anyone else gone through this? Have you felt guilty for wanting to change? I guess this will only become clearer with time but do any of you have any advice for me?  I just feel really weird about this...

[ContemporaryCaflicCrusader]

I have felt a little like this before, probably not to this extent though.  I tell my mom I think she knows me better than I do.  She says that's impossible.  If you love God: you will keep his commandments; He will give you the life where you live out His will as He wanted it and you will be happiest doing that and in every sense that would be your ultimate identity.  I think your also confusing this with with which clique do you belong to.  That can be it's own lame board thread :-P.  

[FutureCarmeliteClaire]

There's always money in the banana stand.

[arfink]

If you are constantly seeking advice you may very easily miss the things in your life which God has given you as gifts and tools for guiding your life, but which others cannot see.

[Oremoose]

There's always money in the banana stand.

Come on that's hijacking at its worse.

[Annie12]

Yeah, okay, um, forget this thread even exists please. :blush:

Edited June 22, 2013 by Annie12

[Oremoose]

Yeah, okay, um, forget this thread even exists please. :blush:

Don't worry I find it helpful just to let it all out. The only thing is I don't have the guts to put it here. And know you are not alone I too am going through similar I just can't articulate my thoughts on it in a way that sounds like I'm just moaning like a pathetic zombie.

You did good Annie don't let others say anything else. And also take what fink said to heart. But don't let it stop you from asking the right people for help when you feel down and out. Edited June 22, 2013 by Oremoose

[Annie12]

lol okay :blush:

[Seven77]

Grace builds on nature.

 

God will reveal to you the best version of yourself...he'll show you what you have to do and will give you the strength to do it. Sounds like you are open to the process that has already begun...:)

[Oremoose]

Grace builds on nature.

Not to hijack this thread but where does this quote come from?

[Gabriela]

Not to hijack this thread but where does this quote come from?

 

St. Thomas Aquinas said it, but some believe that he got it from his teacher, St. Albert the Great. In other words, no one's 100% sure what the origin is, but it's in Aquinas' writings. Sisters say it ALL THE TIME.

[Basilisa Marie]

Oh, girl, have I been there. :)  

 

What worked for me is first deciding to stop seeking advice from outside myself, and focus instead on what God was saying and what I was saying.  Second, I realized that I had friends that were trying to turn me into (or keep me as!) the kind of person THEY wanted me to be.  (I'm talking about friends or peers here, not parents or a spiritual director or anything) I don't know if you have anyone like that in your life, but if your do, don't be afraid to not agree with them, or disappoint them, or do something they don't like.  Maybe you don't have anyone trying to change you (or keep you a certain way), and you just might feel like you do, like with what you said about worrying about being a know-it-all. Same thing applies. Spend some time listening to yourself and God, and don't worry about what other people think.  

Third, you have to take some risks.  By this, I mean, once you've shut out everyone else's voices except you and God, listen and figure out what's being said.  More often than not you might discover that there's something you've always wanted to try, whether it be a new devotion or wearing a sundress once a week or taking up an instrument (college is great for that, because lessons are usually WAY WAY WAY cheaper than in the outside world imho!) or trying out for a play or answering a question in class or making a new friend or whatever.  I did the trying out for the play thing, said what the heck and just threw myself into the audition, and I ended up getting the part!  It turned out acting wasn't my thing, so I didn't try out for others after that play's run was over, but it was a great experience, forced me outside my comfort zone, and let me met new people I never would have otherwise.  Even if I hadn't gotten the part, I still would have been able to feel good about having enough courage to put myself out there and figure out if this thing was something I wanted to be part of "me."  :)  

Finally, your roots will always be there.   When trees grow up and change and "branch out" they don't lose their roots, even if some branches get cut off.  The point of your roots being your 'roots' is that they're your past, where you've come from, and shape how you see the world.  They're not meant to hold you hostage so you never grow. :)  

sorry not sorry for AWESOME tree pun.   :hehe2: