seashorerock Posted June 21, 2013 Share Posted June 21, 2013 So, Im catholic and come in search of other Catholics. I'm almost 30 and finally found "the one" I have SOOO many questions tho. We are planning to get several people's blessings (parents, priests) before we get engaged officially, which with travel to his parents and mine means end of September. We have been a bit nomadic as individuals since college, 2-3 moves each, and several parish changes, plus seeing our parents means that at best we attended one parish 2-3 times a month though we attended Mass. Some of this was due to moving, some due to church reconfigurations so 99% of it was out of our control. Currently in our town we try to attend the closest parish regularly. However, it is also going through a merge/change and they plan to have a new building. About 60 miles away is his almamatter where he knows the priest well and attended Mass weekly or more. He also goes up there every other month to help out on a voulenteer project...so while he's not active, he's well known. Neither of us are registered parishoners, neither of us have been registered since 18. This isn't our fault as again, we both (on our own individual basis) didn't register because of knowing we were going to soon move or because the parishes were closing/merging or because we couldn't attend weekely due to travel. Looking at things now it shows that in the strictest of parishes this could very much affect our plans to get married next year, despite our faithfulness (in all ways) to the Catholic Church. We do often participate in local parish activities several local parishes to enrich our spiritual lives. We do plan to settle into parish life when we are married, but for now it's just not practical to attend one church every week. (he's currently in the process of buying a house which will put us in a new parish boundary) So, since I see there are many Priests on here (as well as married women) I need thoughts, ideas....who do we go to first? The priest who says mass that we know who's the associate paster? The pastor who dosn't know us from Adam? The pastor at his almamatter who knows him well? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IcePrincessKRS Posted June 21, 2013 Share Posted June 21, 2013 Which parish do you WANT to get married in? Because you will need to talk to the pastor there no matter what, even if you want to have a priest friend preside over your wedding ceremony. Once you have figured that out I would register in a parish, whichever one you are most comfortable in or consider your home parish, simply because it's important to be registered and show a record of being a part of the parish (it would probably be easiest if you register in the same parish you wish to get marred in). When we were first married I was still considered as being part of my mom's family, I guess, because they never asked me to register there (I was in my early 20s). When I had my first baby we had moved twice and lived in a different state. The pastor at our new parish asked me why I hadn't registered in the year since we'd been married. I told him we'd been trying to find the perfect parish and hadn't really thought about registering once we'd found it, it just didn't occur to me that it was an important step. He told me, very kindly, that it's important to register precisely because things like this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
seashorerock Posted June 21, 2013 Author Share Posted June 21, 2013 Honestly, I want to get married up at his almamatter, on the feast day of the patron of my alamatter (francis). Part of this is just pure girl...the local 2- building parish is in drama and disrepair, and they are planning on using a temporary building (like a basment or gym) starting as early as next year for services while the new centeral one is being built. I know the sacrament is between my future husband, God and I as administered through the Priest, but short of needing it to be in the basement becuase all catholics are prosecuted I really want it to be in a place with say....windows and real pews. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
seashorerock Posted June 21, 2013 Author Share Posted June 21, 2013 We're ironically both Seton Homeschool graduates ('03 and '05) who grew up in different states, so our college graduations ('07 and '09) were really our first experiences in modern culture and taught us to persist in holiness and "purity". (hint that's pg'd if you catch my drift). Since we've been migratory since college, that's our last really stable place of residence and worship. His is 60+ miles away, mine is 500+. So we'll just adopt my saint as patron. And yes, being almost 30 means that my graduation was the '03 one...he's a year younger :p Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Papist Posted June 21, 2013 Share Posted June 21, 2013 It is proper that your marriage prep go through the parish either of you are parishioners(registered). What is the plan in the event that one of these people do not give his/her blessing? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
homeschoolmom Posted June 21, 2013 Share Posted June 21, 2013 Welcome to Phatmass. :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Papist Posted June 21, 2013 Share Posted June 21, 2013 Oh yeah ^ that too. Welcome to Phatmass Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
add Posted June 21, 2013 Share Posted June 21, 2013 (edited) congratulations, have you thought about including Seton home study school or going to Front Royal, VA (Seton Home Study School headquarters) for your nuptials my kids graduated high school from there too, its nice to hear that two homeschooler's have fallen in love. again congratulations :dance: , Edited June 21, 2013 by add Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
seashorerock Posted June 21, 2013 Author Share Posted June 21, 2013 (edited) It is proper that your marriage prep go through the parish either of you are parishioners(registered). What is the plan in the event that one of these people do not give his/her blessing? We're not registered at any parishes...haven't been "registered" Catholics in over 10 years. Practicing...sometimes even daily...but we have moved and traveled ALOT. As far as not getting blessings if the priest at his Alma matter or the one who usually says Mass...we'd probably look into his parent's parish....or worse case where his sister got married. Edited June 21, 2013 by seashorerock Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
seashorerock Posted June 21, 2013 Author Share Posted June 21, 2013 Added note-as far as marriage prep, becuase our diocese has a shortage of priests, and is closing many churches, marriage prep is done 90% on the diocean level with very little involvement from the pastor or any priest. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
franciscanheart Posted June 21, 2013 Share Posted June 21, 2013 :wave: Welcome. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
let_go_let_God Posted June 21, 2013 Share Posted June 21, 2013 Sad about the marriage prep. Also welcome. If you are planning to stick with his alma mater, once you've made it official and have a ballpark date, talk with that priest. He will be able to give you options and get you on the right path. That was the choice that we made and he was very accommodating to our situations. God bless- LGLG Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
seashorerock Posted June 21, 2013 Author Share Posted June 21, 2013 Sad about the marriage prep. Also welcome. If you are planning to stick with his alma mater, once you've made it official and have a ballpark date, talk with that priest. He will be able to give you options and get you on the right path. That was the choice that we made and he was very accommodating to our situations. God bless- LGLG Yeah, the state of Catholic young adults is abysmal in our dioceses. We are incredibly blessed to have found eachother....like stunningly blessed We will actually have to travel to another dioceses over an hour away for engaged encounter weekend part even though ours encompases most of the churches we've attended in the past few years. It's a sad state of affairs. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IcePrincessKRS Posted June 22, 2013 Share Posted June 22, 2013 In that case I'd talk to the priest at his alma mater and see if they can do it, and if they can what they would require of you. (I still think it's important to register at a parish regardless, but it may not be absolutely necessary to do it before talking to the priest.) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fides quarens intellectum Posted June 22, 2013 Share Posted June 22, 2013 welcome! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now