Arjan Bouman Posted June 20, 2013 Share Posted June 20, 2013 How can i Know i really have forgive anyone in my life, i Want really forgive anyone who hurts me.Bitterness and resentment can make you sick, experts warn Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
add Posted June 20, 2013 Share Posted June 20, 2013 Somebody once said it is a good idea to Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive Those who trespass against us Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
To Jesus Through Mary Posted June 20, 2013 Share Posted June 20, 2013 How can i Know i really have forgive anyone in my life, i Want really forgive anyone who hurts me.Bitterness and resentment can make you sick, experts warn We will also be judged by the same measure of mercy we used. To truly be free from bitterness can sometimes be a life-long battle, if you were deeply wounded. One way I have found very helpful is the Sacrament of Penance and the Eucharist. I beg the Lords help, because I realize I cannot do it on my own. Sometimes all we can do is want to want to forgive. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CrossCuT Posted June 20, 2013 Share Posted June 20, 2013 Someone told me once "Holding a grudge or resentment is basically allowing someone to live rent free in your head" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dominicansoul Posted June 20, 2013 Share Posted June 20, 2013 Practice viewing others through the eyes of Faith. When someone wrongs you, as hard as it can be, just try your best to see them as God sees them. Remind yourself "God loves this person, died for them....who am I to NOT love them?" People can be real jerks and stupid idiots and immature imbeciles...but guess what? So can I ...we are imperfect human beings... I'm not trying to make excuses for anyone hurting anybody... all I know is that the actions a person takes against me is not going to harden my heart and make me turn to hatred. I am not going to hell over a person who hates me. It's definitely not worth it!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ContemporaryCaflicCrusader Posted June 20, 2013 Share Posted June 20, 2013 This is such a tough one. You can say you have forgiven someone until you are blue in the face, but it has to travel a 12 inches downwards to your heart. I don't know a secret recipe for it. I hope I will someday. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ContemporaryCaflicCrusader Posted June 20, 2013 Share Posted June 20, 2013 I guess we forgive the inexcusable in others because God forgives the inexcusable in us and it is true DS there is a tragedy behind every bully, some tradegies, make it easier to forgive than others, others you never get the backstory, others you know the backstory and if anything it just makes you more furious. We just have to remember all the things we despise about ourself and in the process somehow avoid depression. Have some Weird Al on in the background or something. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vee Posted June 20, 2013 Share Posted June 20, 2013 How can i Know i really have forgive anyone in my life, i Want really forgive anyone who hurts me.Bitterness and resentment can make you sick, experts warn This can be done only by the grace of God and His action in one's heart. You must pray for the grace, beg God for the grace because all I know is that left to myself Im a jerk and only by the grace of God do I do anything good. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
franciscanheart Posted June 20, 2013 Share Posted June 20, 2013 Step 1: Leave phatmass. Step 2: Do just about anything else. I'll give you a discount since you seem distressed. $50 please. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lil Red Posted June 20, 2013 Share Posted June 20, 2013 (edited) Note: my advice isn't really for petty disagreements, or like if you get mad that someone cut you off in traffic. A good book from a Catholic perspective on forgiveness is called "Facing Forgiveness: A Catholic's Guide to Letting Go of Anger and Welcoming Reconciliation". It has helped me, time and again, with people in my life who have abused me and hurt me physically and emotionally. It doesn't come at forgiveness from an overly pious viewpoint, where you have to shove your valid feelings and anger aside, which in turn actually creates more resentment, against God and against the person whom you're trying to forgive. The book also talks about how forgiving someone doesn't mean that you have to interact with that person, and it doesn't mean that you have to physically tell them "I forgive you". A quote from the book: Forgiveness is an act of the will, a choice, a movement of the heart, and there is no obligation to communicate this, unless one wants to achieve reconciliation with the other. In the case of some, reconciliation would put them into a potentially perilous situation. ..... Too often the belief that forgiveness must be communicated to the other and that reconciliation is always a desirable condition, prevents individuals from considering forgiveness. I encourage you to take your time in forgiving another person, and realize that forgiveness (for most) does not come overnight, but rather over time, and over many attempts at opening your heart to forgiving another. How I started forgiving the person who hurt me most: I couldn't even pray, "Lord, help me to forgive this person." I started with praying, "Lord, give me the want to want to forgive this person." Then, after much time, I realized that I could pray: "Lord, help me to forgive this person." I hope and pray that this has helped you. Edited June 20, 2013 by Lil Red Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IcePrincessKRS Posted June 20, 2013 Share Posted June 20, 2013 Note: my advice isn't really for petty disagreements, or like if you get mad that someone cut you off in traffic. A good book from a Catholic perspective on forgiveness is called "Facing Forgiveness: A Catholic's Guide to Letting Go of Anger and Welcoming Reconciliation". It has helped me, time and again, with people in my life who have abused me and hurt me physically and emotionally. It doesn't come at forgiveness from an overly pious viewpoint, where you have to shove your valid feelings and anger aside, which in turn actually creates more resentment, against God and against the person whom you're trying to forgive. The book also talks about how forgiving someone doesn't mean that you have to interact with that person, and it doesn't mean that you have to physically tell them "I forgive you". A quote from the book: Forgiveness is an act of the will, a choice, a movement of the heart, and there is no obligation to communicate this, unless one wants to achieve reconciliation with the other. In the case of some, reconciliation would put them into a potentially perilous situation. ..... Too often the belief that forgiveness must be communicated to the other and that reconciliation is always a desirable condition, prevents individuals from considering forgiveness. I encourage you to take your time in forgiving another person, and realize that forgiveness (for most) does not come overnight, but rather over time, and over many attempts at opening your heart to forgiving another. How I started forgiving the person who hurt me most: I couldn't even pray, "Lord, help me to forgive this person." I started with praying, "Lord, give me the want to want to forgive this person." Then, after much time, I realized that I could pray: "Lord, help me to forgive this person." I hope and pray that this has helped you. I absolutely agree with this 100%. :like: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gabriela Posted June 20, 2013 Share Posted June 20, 2013 Others have much better advice than, I. I just wanted to say: Welcome to PM, Arjan. Glad you joined us. :welcome: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CatholicsAreKewl Posted June 20, 2013 Share Posted June 20, 2013 It could help to write down what person x did to you, how it made you feel/affected you, and person x's perspective about the situation (why he/she did it). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
franciscanheart Posted June 20, 2013 Share Posted June 20, 2013 I absolutely agree with this 100%. :like:You quoted the wrong post. No hard feelings. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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