"i Need Feminism Because..." Cambridge University Students Sha

[PhuturePriest]

Why are people spelling women with a y?

 

It's a feminist thing (The extreme feminists that hate men). They believe it's wrong that "male", "men", and "man", are ingrained into everyday words, so they spell it "womyn" so it's not "women", which is quite obviously an injustice made by chauvinistic pigs to put women in their place and make men seem superior.

[HisChildForever]

It's a feminist thing (The extreme feminists that hate men). They believe it's wrong that "male", "men", and "man", are ingrained into everyday words, so they spell it "womyn" so it's not "women", which is quite obviously an injustice made by chauvinistic pigs to put women in their place and make men seem superior.

 

Oh brother sister...

 

:|

[CatholicsAreKewl]

There's a saying in my village that a woman's best asset is her husband... I can't wait to improve some Lebanese girl's life. 

Edited June 19, 2013 by CatholicsAreKewl

[photosynthesis]

Another thing:  Not all earlier feminists were pro-life.  Although organizations like Feminists for Life often like to channel their "feminist foremothers" such as abigail adams and Elizabeth Cady Stanton, many "first wave" feminists were very pro choice.  Here is an essay by Charlotte Perkins Gilman, an early feminist:

 

http://www.thenation.com/article/154433/birth-control-religion-and-unfit#axzz2WdgNblaG

 

 

...we seize on the benefits of birth control, a practice which does not interfere with the pleasures of the unfit but saves society from their reduplication. Again we are met by the indifference of the unfit as voters, and mere ignorance and stupidity are likewise often backed by the enormous power of religion.

 

 

How ironic that once feminist won themselves the right to vote, they start using language that oppresses others.  Around the same time, Margaret Sanger was traveling around, teaching blacks and Native Americans about the virtues of birth control out of a racist desire to "weed out" certain groups she thought were unfit.  The church has always taught that women and men are equal in dignity, even though they have different (but complimentary) roles.  Feminism is a worldly [at best] philosophy that seeks to separate equality in dignity from having different roles in the social order.

 

I'm the co-leader of my local Mothers & More chapter and we recently had a discussion about women in the workplace.  Almost all the women who stay at home with their children reported feelings of guilt for not contributing financially to the household.  Many talked about how their self esteem has suffered because they depended on their husbands for income.  One said, "My husband sees me as a taker."  But the women who went to work often talked about feeling guilty for finding fulfillment (and a paycheck) outside the home.  While many of these mothers had husbands who helped out with childcare and houshold chores, things were still unequal because no matter what they did, the kids still wanted Mom at the end of the day....especially small babies who were nursing.  I didn't say this at the meeting, but I blame feminism for this "damned if you do, damned if you don't" scenario.  

[Lil Red]

 

 was the idea that "rape culture" is caused by patriarchal ideas about men being heads of their households and expecting women to obey them.  Can this system be abused?  Yes.  Is it overall beneficial to women, for the most part?  Yes.  

 

 

 

 

sorry, can you clarify what you mean by this? because on my first (and second and third and fourth reading) of it, my hackles went up. so before i get all 'het up' about it, i just would like you to clarify what you mean by it. :) 

[CrossCuT]

I want to see more feminists embracing their femininity. Women have ovaries and a uterus to make babies with...we have an amazingly beautiful biological system that is (lets be honest) WAY cooler than dudes. It makes me sad when women fight against it by taking birth control for the sole purpose of disrupting this system in order to conform their bodies to an ideal that is set by men who dont have to worry about it.

 

Women need to be strong women. That will never happen if they are calling themselves "womyn" or any of this other nonsense.

Its as if they are running around screaming "I AM WOMAN" and then eliminating the very essence of what makes them women in the first place.

Granted, not ALL feminists think this way and I think there are a lot of positives in the movement, but I think the norm has fallen into a very backwards mindset.

 

It makes me sad that those of my own gender who are fighting for me dont even want to be like me. :(

 

(Of course this post is only really referring to a small aspect of feminism, but its the one that bothers me the most.)

[Lil Red]

I want to see more feminists embracing their femininity. Women have ovaries and a uterus to make babies with...we have an amazingly beautiful biological system that is (lets be honest) WAY cooler than dudes. It makes me sad when women fight against it by taking birth control for the sole purpose of disrupting this system in order to conform their bodies to an ideal that is set by men who dont have to worry about it.

 

Women need to be strong women. That will never happen if they are calling themselves "womyn" or any of this other nonsense.

Its as if they are running around screaming "I AM WOMAN" and then eliminating the very essence of what makes them women in the first place.

Granted, not ALL feminists think this way and I think there are a lot of positives in the movement, but I think the norm has fallen into a very backwards mindset.

 

It makes me sad that those of my own gender who are fighting for me dont even want to be like me. :(

 

(Of course this post is only really referring to a small aspect of feminism, but its the one that bothers me the most.)

 

good post. (so, like, props but i'm out)

[PhuturePriest]

I want to see more feminists embracing their femininity. Women have ovaries and a uterus to make babies with...we have an amazingly beautiful biological system that is (lets be honest) WAY cooler than dudes.

 

Indeed. Women carry a human person in their body (Sometimes more), deliver it, and then feed it and nurture it with their body, all because it's awesome and it can do that. Men hold their wife's hand and smile, because other than procreating and lifting stuff, that's pretty much all our bodies get to do.

[Ice_nine]

sorry, can you clarify what you mean by this? because on my first (and second and third and fourth reading) of it, my hackles went up. so before i get all 'het up' about it, i just would like you to clarify what you mean by it. :)

 

was wondering the same thang.

[photosynthesis]

sorry, can you clarify what you mean by this? because on my first (and second and third and fourth reading) of it, my hackles went up. so before i get all 'het up' about it, i just would like you to clarify what you mean by it. :)

 

What made your heckles go up?  I think I was trying to say that many feminists, at least the academic and radical liberal ones I was exposed to, teach that rape culture stems from Christian attitudes about how men and women ought to relate to each other.  And the Bible was always discussed as one of the most horrible sources of patriarchal influence.  Sure, there are a lot of bad interpretations of Ephesians 5 out there, and certainly there are men who use their position of authority to the detriment of the women they are responsible for loving, but overall St. Paul's vision of Christian marriage is beneficial for women.  Women benefit from patriarchy in the following ways:

 

- Strong Families.  As feminism became more influential and women started seeking fulfillment outside the home, there was less of an incentive to stay with their husbands.  There has been less incentive to get married and stay married...and the institution of marriage is so weak and meaningless to most people, that they wold even entertain the idea of same sex marriage.  Financially, women have more security than ever before... but the stability of marriages is at an all time low.  Families were stronger before feminists had their way.  I'm not saying that all women have to be barefoot and pregnant all day, making sammiches for their husbands even if they act like trolls (I expect my husband to make his own sammiches), but there is a lot of peace and spiritual grace that a woman can have through obeying her husband.

 

- Protection.  If a woman is just as strong, just as powerful, and just as independent as a man, then she needs no man to protect her.  I remember back when I was a feminist, I hated it when men did things like open doors for me and would say "I'll do that myself, thank you."  Now, i see the value in such displays of courtesy, as they point to the deeper calling men have to protect women.

 

- Providence.  Some women have to work to pay the bills, whether they provide for themselves or for a whole family.  But it sure is easier raising children without having to work outside the home.  I don't know how some working moms do it.  

 

Another thing they used to rail on was the concept of modesty.  This is something most feminists see as intrinsically tied to 'rape culture' because women who have been raped are often asked, "What were you wearing?" as if that somehow implies that it is her fault because she wore something revealing.  Obviously that is no way to treat rape victims, but there's no reason to throw modesty out the window.  

Edited June 20, 2013 by photosynthesis

[the171]

WHY DO Y'ALL START THE FEMINISM THREADS WHILE I'M GONE?!

[Basilisa Marie]

Ok I have a pretty big problem with a lot of this. 

 

 

 

- Strong Families.  As feminism became more influential and women started seeking fulfillment outside the home, there was less of an incentive to stay with their husbands.  There has been less incentive to get married and stay married...and the institution of marriage is so weak and meaningless to most people, that they wold even entertain the idea of same sex marriage.  Financially, women have more security than ever before... but the stability of marriages is at an all time low.  Families were stronger before feminists had their way.  I'm not saying that all women have to be barefoot and pregnant all day, making sammiches for their husbands even if they act like trolls (I expect my husband to make his own sammiches), but there is a lot of peace and spiritual grace that a woman can have through obeying her husband.

 

 

1. So you're saying that a major incentive for women to stay with their husbands is so that they can be provided for?  You make it sound like financial reasons are the biggest reason why women cling to their husbands.  That reduces women to gold-diggers who may or may not have some semblance of mild affection for their men.  Last time I checked, that's not how my parents' marriage, or any other strong marriage in my community works, and all the examples I'm thinking of have wives who are homemakers. Financial reasons ARE a major cause for divorce, but it's not that women are suddenly not completely dependent on their husbands for survival.  It's not talking about money beforehand, not making sound financial decisions with their money, or gross financial style incompatibility (one is a huge spender, the other is a saver, and they don't communicate).  
 

2. So let's say a husband turns abusive. A woman who is completely dependent on her husband will have a much harder time leaving that situation, let alone finding a job after she does leave him, because she's planned on being a stay at home mom her whole life and has no way of figuring out how to support herself. 

3. Obeying her husband only works if her husband does HIS job of taking her needs and desires into account. There's no way that a woman can even hope to find spiritual peace and grace if she has no say in her marriage or family.  This kind of mindset builds the foundation for enabling wives, abused wives, and/or spiritual unfulfilled wives, unless you base it on the contingency that a man is doing a good job at his end of the deal first.  A much better approach would be mutual submission in Christ, which is also talked about in the Bible. 

 

 

- Protection.  If a woman is just as strong, just as powerful, and just as independent as a man, then she needs no man to protect her.  I remember back when I was a feminist, I hated it when men did things like open doors for me and would say "I'll do thatmyself, thank you."  Now, i see the value in such displays of courtesy, as they point to the deeper calling men have to protect women.

 

4. Assuming that women need men to protect them also assumes that men are inherently violent, powerful, evil beings.  The only way a woman needs protecting from men is if men abuse their power over women...which, last time I checked, is the exact definition of patriarchy that feminists use. It's not only misogynistic, but misandrist, to think that women need protection from men.  It doesn't even address the real problem of men abusing their power.  It's complacent with the status quo.  Instead, we should be challenging men to not abuse their power.  

 

 

- Providence.  Some women have to work to pay the bills, whether they provide for themselves or for a whole family.  But it sure is easier raising children without having to work outside the home.  I don't know how some working moms do it.  

 

5. Most of the time, when women work outside the home, it's not for selfish reasons.  It's because they can't afford to raise a family on a single income.  Again, this contradicts your first premise, that women work outside the home primarily to seek personal fulfillment. 

 

 

Another thing they used to rail on was the concept of modesty.  This is something most feminists see as intrinsically tied to 'rape culture' because women who have been raped are often asked, "What were you wearing?" as if that somehow implies that it is her fault because she wore something revealing.  Obviously that is no way to treat rape victims, but there's no reason to throw modesty out the window.  

 

 

6. Feminists do not see rape culture and modesty as two different things.  Asking a rape victim "What were you wearing?" implies that a victim's clothes have something to do with why she was raped.  This victim-blaming only serves to obscure the only responsible party in a rape - the rapist.  Feminists actually care a lot about a woman's right to wear clothes that make her feel dignified...which is the definition of modesty.  There's actually a movement in support of Muslim women who choose to wear the hijab.  

[photosynthesis]

Ok I have a pretty big problem with a lot of this. 

 

 

1. So you're saying that a major incentive for women to stay with their husbands is so that they can be provided for?  You make it sound like financial reasons are the biggest reason why women cling to their husbands.  That reduces women to gold-diggers who may or may not have some semblance of mild affection for their men.  Last time I checked, that's not how my parents' marriage, or any other strong marriage in my community works, and all the examples I'm thinking of have wives who are homemakers. Financial reasons ARE a major cause for divorce, but it's not that women are suddenly not completely dependent on their husbands for survival.  It's not talking about money beforehand, not making sound financial decisions with their money, or gross financial style incompatibility (one is a huge spender, the other is a saver, and they don't communicate).  
 

2. So let's say a husband turns abusive. A woman who is completely dependent on her husband will have a much harder time leaving that situation, let alone finding a job after she does leave him, because she's planned on being a stay at home mom her whole life and has no way of figuring out how to support herself. 

3. Obeying her husband only works if her husband does HIS job of taking her needs and desires into account. There's no way that a woman can even hope to find spiritual peace and grace if she has no say in her marriage or family.  This kind of mindset builds the foundation for enabling wives, abused wives, and/or spiritual unfulfilled wives, unless you base it on the contingency that a man is doing a good job at his end of the deal first.  A much better approach would be mutual submission in Christ, which is also talked about in the Bible. 

 

 

4. Assuming that women need men to protect them also assumes that men are inherently violent, powerful, evil beings.  The only way a woman needs protecting from men is if men abuse their power over women...which, last time I checked, is the exact definition of patriarchy that feminists use. It's not only misogynistic, but misandrist, to think that women need protection from men.  It doesn't even address the real problem of men abusing their power.  It's complacent with the status quo.  Instead, we should be challenging men to not abuse their power.  

 

 

5. Most of the time, when women work outside the home, it's not for selfish reasons.  It's because they can't afford to raise a family on a single income.  Again, this contradicts your first premise, that women work outside the home primarily to seek personal fulfillment. 

 

 

6. Feminists do not see rape culture and modesty as two different things.  Asking a rape victim "What were you wearing?" implies that a victim's clothes have something to do with why she was raped.  This victim-blaming only serves to obscure the only responsible party in a rape - the rapist.  Feminists actually care a lot about a woman's right to wear clothes that make her feel dignified...which is the definition of modesty.  There's actually a movement in support of Muslim women who choose to wear the hijab.  

 

1.  I'm not reducing women to gold-diggers or saying that it is the main reason why a wife clings to her husband.  Hopefully they have more in common than a shared financial destiny!  But it does de-incentivize divorce.  As a woman who depends on her husband's income, I do not view him as just a paycheck and he is worth so much more to me than just someone who brings home the bacon.  But the fact that I need him makes me more likely to choose my battles wisely and put up with his annoying habits.  And even though in this arrangement my husband does not depend on me for his financial well being, he makes it clear to me that he does need me in other ways... A good man values his wife and sees her as "the glue" that holds the house together and keeps things running smoothly.  It is important that both spouses value each other.

 

2.  There are some cases where it is necessary for a woman's safety (or her childrens' safety) to leave her husband.  I know this is why my mother left my father.  She had a job but was far from financially secure without my dad, and it really was difficult for her.  Thankfully she was able to move back in with her parents, who were retired and took care of me while my mom worked.  It was my their support that allowed my mom to finish her college degree and now that my grandma is 93, my mom and I take care of her.  I am grateful that my mom had a strong family to fall back on after my dad lost his mind.

 

3.  The husband holding his end of the bargain is key, and should be emphasized. 

 

4.  Saying someone has more power does not automatically assume they are going to use their power for evil.  Challenging men not to abuse their power is certainly a good thing, but that does imply that men are endowed with power that women do not have... 

 

5.  It is true that often women work outside the home not for selfish reasons, but because they need to pay their bills.  This does not contradict my first premise because it is a lot harder in our current economy to raise children on one income than it was several decades ago.  I'm not an economist and cannot tell you why.  But I also know many moms who work, not because they need to but because they prefer the company of other adults to their children.  They think that if they put their careers on hold they will lose their identity.  The paycheck is part of the reason why they work, but after you factor in daycare, commuting.... the $$$ isn't as significant as it is if you don't have kids.  

[beatitude]

Photosynthesis, I don't know what sort of women's studies course you were taking, but when I read the phrase 'radical liberal feminists' in your post, I had huge doubts about its quality and coherence. By definition, a liberal feminist cannot be a radical, and a radical feminist cannot be a liberal. They are objectively different philosophies. Your earlier remark that leaving feminism made you 'happier and saner' also made me a little suspicious of this education you had, as 'feminists are bitter and mad' is a common stereotype flung against women who have the temerity to get angry at some of the injustice in this world (along with the digs about hairy legs and armpits).

 

I need feminism because even now people still question its necessity - which means that they are inevitably going to be blind to many serious issues specifically impacting on females as females. I need it because people think that 'women's rights' are synonymous with 'women being protected and taken care of by men', and that the latter is a great substitute for the former. I need it because we still have men who thinks it's their prerogative to decide which feminists are being good reasonable girls and which ones are man-hating harpies to be shunned - and there are women who listen meekly to their judgments. And the list goes on.

[the171]

I need feminism because in Louisiana women are still questioned when they choose to have a career.

I need feminism because many people believe that only men can be theologians.

I need feminism because I don't want to be seen as a "fragile creature of emotion" for the rest of my life, but a beacon of truth and logic.


Hope these make sense. Anyway, I'm a feminist. I actually have a blog: the-feminist-papist.tumblr.com