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Am I Weird?


DiscerningCatholic

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DiscerningCatholic

I've always just had this feeling that I wouldn't live to be really old AND that I'd die as a martyr. I don't take the thoughts too seriously, but I feel like I'm weird because A.) I  want to enter the convent and B.) I have these kinds of thoughts. I am not suicidal. Let me get that out there. :) I won't go looking to get martyred; I'm not insane. But I was just wondering I am the only person who has thought about things like this. 

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I'm with BM, I've heard numerous people say they don't expect to live long/didn't expect to live beyond a certain age.

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DiscerningCatholic

Everyone I've told this to got all, "Oh my gosh, aren't you scared? I'd be scared out of my skin if I ever thought that I'd die young!" And I'm like..."No..." 

 

But if I die young, don't bury me in satin and throw me in the river at dawn. :| 

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DiscerningCatholic

that song is so emo, its embarrassing.

 

I've never heard the whole song. Just the first like, 2 lines. :| I just wanted to use that phrase.

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DiscerningCatholic

you'll probably live to be 110... 

 

That's exactly what I thought after I posted this...Like, "Watch me live to be 110 and die of old age."

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DiscerningCatholic

I'd love to be a martyr as long as there was no torture involved.

 

Good luck with that one...

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Not The Philosopher

I went through a period where I did think that I would die young. Now I'm more open to other options.

 

But I'm so often such a scrunched up ball of anxiety that I wouldn't be too surprised if my heart wound up in dissent with the rest of my body 20-30 years from now.

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DiscerningCatholic

I went through a period where I did think that I would die young. Now I'm more open to other options.

 

I'm not closed to dying old; I honestly don't care how old I am when I die.

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ToJesusMyHeart

My rooommate feels the same way as you. I always ask her how her discernment is coming and she always replies that she just can't see herself fulfilling either vocation because she feels like she will die (be martyred) before she a) enters the convent or b) gets married. 

 

So like everyone else said, it's quite a common feeling. 

 

Who knows if you or my roommate or any of the many others who have these feelings will actually die as martyrs? God knows, but we can't. (Unless someone is a prophet on here...... :o )

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PhuturePriest

If I'm martyred, I want to go down in a cool way. The firing squad is too boring. I wanna go down Edmund Campion style so I can brag about it in heaven.

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