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Surviving A Useless Life


Era Might

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youll probably shoot down a doctor of the church but someone else might find this helpful.

 

Our Lord does not
so much consider the greatness of works
as the love with
which we do them

Saint Teresa of Jesus

 

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I have struggled with depression. Real, cold, hard, existential. This sounds just like depression.

 

I know because it seems like no reasoning will ever punch through the wall you are up against. Not even the great Thomas Aquinas, before whose logic I am typically helpless, could breach my thick skull. It all felt wrong. It feels like nothing could ever make you feel happy and fulfilled, and you'll be doomed to wait until you are cold in your grave to find something really beautiful. I have been there, more than once. It's scary. I have wonderful loving friends who tried as hard as they could to reach through to me, and nothing worked. Nothing. I found it literally impossible to lift my mood.

 

At first I felt horrible, but after a while I just felt numb and I didn't care about anything.

 

I later discovered that I hadn't seen the sun for weeks because I live in a land where the sun is blotted out by heavy clouds for weeks at a time, and it's dark and cold and horrible. It was all physical, probably seasonal affective disorder.

 

I have heard the same stories again and again from people who have other kinds of depression. There can be a multitude of causes. And it can happen to you later in life. This may be the case for you. Seriously.

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HisChildForever

Mine is anime. :| I would not say that anime provides meaning for my life, per se, but my interest in anime is based on the foundation of aspects of my personality that do provide some meaning. :|

 

Mine is Sarah Michelle Gellar (as Buffy)  :hehe2:

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Yes, he only makes things worse. Nothing kills worldly motivation like a man preaching poverty and prayer. It only makes me want to leave the world completely, not put up with it.

 

It sounds like you need to a talk to a spiritual director about this.  No life is ever "useless" but I do know that it can feel awfully "meaningless" without Christ. 

 

Pray.  That is the best advice any of us can give you.    

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At work now, going to try to focus on the big picture rather than get annoyed at everything. I'll let you know how it goes.

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I will pray for you Era. I'll offer my suffering through the darkness of my day for you, and pray the Lord send you light and relief.

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