Era Might Posted June 12, 2013 Author Share Posted June 12, 2013 It seems that you really are in a tough spot and not open to much that is said. I am not going to jump on board and join you in saying that life is meaningless. I just left the most meaningful "job" I ever had as a missionary to move in with my brother and his family as he adopts my sisters children. So my life went to crisis pregnancy counseling and working in a very poor parish with kids that were starving to know about Jesus, to cleaning up to cleaning a house, walking a dog, chasing after a bunch of kids, and desperately looking for any place that will hire me. My job has changed, but the meaning of my life has not. God has called me to his service in my family. Sometimes it seems pointless and an uphill battle- I am impatient with the kids, I am lazier then I would like to admit, and struggle to pray everyday. But I am still where God wants me to grow me. It is not pointless. He works ALL things together for good for those who are in Christ Jesus. Those are not empty words promised in Scripture... just ask any believer who has gone through a major trial in their life. This is not to compare tit-for-tat. Or to say that "Hey look at me- if I can do it so can you!" Era, you are going through a very rough and dark time. God will use this for good. It is a huge act of trust in Him when things seem dark. There is hope. Not warm fuzzies or rainbows- but a raw belief that God will fulfill the desires of your heart. And that this to shall pass. It's not that I'm not open to it, just that I've tried this all before me. Believe me, I have tried everything. I have tried "looking on the bright side of life" as Monty Python would say. I have tried thinking positive as the life gets sucked out of me. I have tried patiently looking forward to moving on up as I gain experience. And it always ends the same, because none of this solves the problem. Believe me, I know there are people who can do great things in my position. Those are the people you see with great careers, entrepreneurs, people "following their passion." That's just not in my character. I need some kind of motivation to care. I'm not a lazy person at all, but without meaning, I have no motivation to do anything. I cannot patiently bear the boredom and the useless groupthink. I'm not saying that's a good thing...maybe, at the end of the day, the problem is me...I don't know how to sacrifice, find the positive, etc. I fully admit all that...I guess some people are just wired differently. But anyway, it's cool, I appreciate all the advice. I don't expect the problem to be solved, and honestly, I don't know how it's going to be resolved. I think some day I may just throw that coffee mug against the wall and just walk out. Hopefully not. But, tomorrow's another day, we'll see how it goes. Thanks again to everyone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
To Jesus Through Mary Posted June 12, 2013 Share Posted June 12, 2013 It's not that I'm not open to it, just that I've tried this all before me. Believe me, I have tried everything. I have tried "looking on the bright side of life" as Monty Python would say. I have tried thinking positive as the life gets sucked out of me. I have tried patiently looking forward to moving on up as I gain experience. And it always ends the same, because none of this solves the problem. Believe me, I know there are people who can do great things in my position. Those are the people you see with great careers, entrepreneurs, people "following their passion." That's just not in my character. I need some kind of motivation to care. I'm not a lazy person at all, but without meaning, I have no motivation to do anything. I cannot patiently bear the boredom and the useless groupthink. I'm not saying that's a good thing...maybe, at the end of the day, the problem is me...I don't know how to sacrifice, find the positive, etc. I fully admit all that...I guess some people are just wired differently. But anyway, it's cool, I appreciate all the advice. I don't expect the problem to be solved, and honestly, I don't know how it's going to be resolved. I think some day I may just throw that coffee mug against the wall and just walk out. Hopefully not. But, tomorrow's another day, we'll see how it goes. Thanks again to everyone. Pop physiology (Zig Ziglar style) doesn't work. Corporate America has an art of making meaningless work and smiles don't make meetings go away. I am not saying you will ever get out of your job (although I hope you do), nor am I saying you are lazy (that is my vice these days), or that if you smile enough or kiss enough butt you will be happier.... but I do know there is value in your current suffering. Therefore there is meaning in each time you feel stuck, forgotten, misunderstood, or each time you have to jump through another futile hoop, there is meaning. For your soul and the rest of the Body of Christ. I will continue praying for you. :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Era Might Posted June 12, 2013 Author Share Posted June 12, 2013 (edited) Pop physiology (Zig Ziglar style) doesn't work. Corporate America has an art of making meaningless work and smiles don't make meetings go away. I am not saying you will ever get out of your job (although I hope you do), nor am I saying you are lazy (that is my vice these days), or that if you smile enough or kiss enough butt you will be happier.... but I do know there is value in your current suffering. Therefore there is meaning in each time you feel stuck, forgotten, misunderstood, or each time you have to jump through another futile hoop, there is meaning. For your soul and the rest of the Body of Christ. I will continue praying for you. :) hehe nice Zig Ziglar reference. I haven't listened to him but I like one of his "students" named Les Brown, his YouTube videos have given me some moments of inspiration. I like him because he doesn't come across as phony, and he doesn't ignore failure. Edited June 12, 2013 by Era Might Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ACS67 Posted June 12, 2013 Share Posted June 12, 2013 You state you have "tried all these things" and yet you name secular "things"....have you tried Jesus? I'm being serious. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HisChildForever Posted June 12, 2013 Share Posted June 12, 2013 That's meaningless advice. Passion doesn't pay the bills. (I appreciate the advice, just saying that I don't agree with it). Cool. I know that passion doesn't pay the bills. My point was to look for a job (or career) where you'd actually be invested in the work, not just plugging along. You can find good pay and be interested in the work. Anyway, what about your personal life? Didn't you just get married? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nihil Obstat Posted June 12, 2013 Share Posted June 12, 2013 Would you be happier just doing construction or something, just to pay the bills? If you find that to be meaningful. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Era Might Posted June 12, 2013 Author Share Posted June 12, 2013 You state you have "tried all these things" and yet you name secular "things"....have you tried Jesus? I'm being serious. Yes, he only makes things worse. Nothing kills worldly motivation like a man preaching poverty and prayer. It only makes me want to leave the world completely, not put up with it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
littlesister Posted June 12, 2013 Share Posted June 12, 2013 Find a Young Adult Group/Bible Study. St. James in Redondo Beach has one that is first class. Volunteer somewhere. Help is welcome everywhere. If the first experience doesn't feel like "home," try another one. There are zillions of possibilities around Boston. Any of that could well lead to a career that will fulfill your hopes and do go to those around you. Best wishes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Era Might Posted June 12, 2013 Author Share Posted June 12, 2013 Would you be happier just doing construction or something, just to pay the bills? If you find that to be meaningful. No, I wouldn't find that meaningful, and I'm not cut out for it anyway. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Era Might Posted June 12, 2013 Author Share Posted June 12, 2013 It's cool, we don't need to figure out what would be "meaningful work" for me. I just needed to vent, I'll figure the problem out somehow. Thanks again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nihil Obstat Posted June 12, 2013 Share Posted June 12, 2013 No, I wouldn't find that meaningful, and I'm not cut out for it anyway. What work would you find meaningful, for yourself? Is there anything? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Era Might Posted June 12, 2013 Author Share Posted June 12, 2013 What work would you find meaningful, for yourself? Is there anything? Truly meaningful, not just relatively meaningful? I can't think of anything, except monastic life. Or else living off my own land. I know neither of those are realistic possibilities. In the sphere of the actual world / economy I live in, and in the sphere of my talents and interests, I can't think of much that would really make me happy and let me survive at the same time. I have to sacrifice one or the other. I guess this is really more of an existential problem than a professional one. C'est la vie. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nihil Obstat Posted June 12, 2013 Share Posted June 12, 2013 I guess this is really more of an existential problem than a professional one. C'est la vie. That is what I am thinking. Which indicates to me that the problem really is not your job, as such. The job is secondary. A symptom, perhaps. But it is too easy just to say that you need to dig deeper within yourself to find meaning. That causes me to ask: where does any meaning come from, for you? Where could meaning come from? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gabriela Posted June 12, 2013 Share Posted June 12, 2013 My brother the Buddhist insists that meaning does not exist unless we create it. My spiritual director is fond of saying, "Make your home a monastery." Indeed, my desktop picture is my (constantly unkept) horarium. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nihil Obstat Posted June 12, 2013 Share Posted June 12, 2013 My brother the Buddhist insists that meaning does not exist unless we create it. My spiritual director is fond of saying, "Make your home a monastery." Indeed, my desktop picture is my (constantly unkept) horarium. Mine is anime. :| I would not say that anime provides meaning for my life, per se, but my interest in anime is based on the foundation of aspects of my personality that do provide some meaning. :| Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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