I'm Being An Emotional Teenager

[add]

What's wrong with me? I'm a failure. All my life, everyone has always told me that I'm really good looking, that I'm very charming, and that I'm the kind of guy girls like. It has come to my attention that at the very least that last statement is a damnable lie. I've liked three girls in my life. The only girl that liked me back never even met me, and the only other girl in the universe who likes me is the creepy stalker one at the store. The girl that I love told me that I'm everything she wants in a guy, and that she doesn't know why she doesn't like me romantically. What's wrong with me? I'm everything on her list. We're so close that everyone thinks we're secretly dating. What the hell is wrong with me that makes girls incapable of liking me romantically?

Okay, rant over.

I wouldn't lose any sleep over it, teenaged girls are sometimes a little fickle

[PhuturePriest]

Same here. Well, I was 23 :) Miles, you're a rare breed - but it's not your time yet (and I think you know this, too). You have so much to still experience, like college, a career, travel. You'll be amazed at how different you feel (in general) in a few years. I'm telling you that you're just too young to be worried about this. But if it makes you feel any better, we're all "been there, done that"!

 

Thank you, but I am wondering what you mean by "rare breed" . :P

[HisChildForever]

Thank you, but I am wondering what you mean by "rare breed" . :P

 

LOL - young, chaste, devout Catholic

[Maggyie]

I have to say LittleWaySoul is 100% about getting some close guy friends. They don't need to be devout Catholics. Just not actively jerks.

 

You will be amazed, when you start hanging out with guys instead of girls, the girls will suddenly find you quite attractive.

 

As it is, you are in the dreaded friend zone... just "one of the gals" (I don't mean that to be offensive). It's true you should marry your best friend, but in the ideal circumstance that friendship develops immediately after you are first attracted to each other on an animal level.

 

But you're not a failure you're just learning how to do stuff!!! anyway get some dude friends asap.

[PhuturePriest]

I have to say LittleWaySoul is 100% about getting some close guy friends. They don't need to be devout Catholics. Just not actively jerks.

 

You will be amazed, when you start hanging out with guys instead of girls, the girls will suddenly find you quite attractive.

 

As it is, you are in the dreaded friend zone... just "one of the gals" (I don't mean that to be offensive). It's true you should marry your best friend, but in the ideal circumstance that friendship develops immediately after you are first attracted to each other on an animal level.

 

But you're not a failure you're just learning how to do stuff!!! anyway get some dude friends asap.

 

Well, I don't really believe in the "friend zone". Sometimes things work out and sometimes they don't. But I do agree that I should get guy friends. I just can't relate to the guys that live in my town. All they care about are sports, cars, sport cars, sports that involve cars, and Call of Duty. I'm just not into any of that. I don't want to play sports and video games with people all the time. Sometimes I just want to go on a walk and talk, or something of that nature. But unfortunately, there just aren't guys I've met who are like that (Except for some college guys I'm friends with).

[Dr. Bombay]

I hate to be the poop in the punch bowl, but that seems to be my lot in life.  It is highly unlikely that you are as good looking as you seem to think you are.  That could be a major part of the problem.  Of course people are going to tell you that IRL.  People lie all the time, especially if they can get something out of you.  The only way to know for sure is to ask people that don't know you IRL.  They'll be brutally honest.  Once you identify the problem (ugliness), it will be easier to formulate a game plan. Thankfully we have a wonderful tool that allows perfect strangers to savage one another in complete anonymity.  QED

 

When I was in the seminary, occasionally we would overhear an old woman (they were always old) say, "Oh, what a waste!" when she would catch sight of a handsome seminarian.  Of course, what they didn't say (but were definitely thinking) to the ugly ones was, "Yes, honey, you're exactly where you should be, safely away from the women."  Garrulous old biddies. 

 

Anyhoo, there was a point there that got lost somehow, but you're a clever kid so I'm sure you can figure it out.  When you do, let me know what it was. :cool:

[LittleWaySoul]

Well, I don't really believe in the "friend zone". Sometimes things work out and sometimes they don't. But I do agree that I should get guy friends. I just can't relate to the guys that live in my town. All they care about are sports, cars, sport cars, sports that involve cars, and Call of Duty. I'm just not into any of that. I don't want to play sports and video games with people all the time. Sometimes I just want to go on a walk and talk, or something of that nature. But unfortunately, there just aren't guys I've met who are like that (Except for some college guys I'm friends with).

The thing is, sometimes you don't have to like the activity or the topic of conversation. Like, I have a lot of friends who LOVE video games. I don't (for the most part anyway... there are some exceptions). But I really care about them, so I hang out with them while they play, and sometimes even play too! I'm really horrible, but that becomes a source of amusement and hilarity as they jokingly make fun of me about it and then I mess up on purpose and everyone is laughing and it's great! :) And then, sometimes, we do things that I like better, like talking about our lives or going to ballroom dancing lessons (that's tomorrow!) :smile3: My advice would be to try to reach them on their level. Just talk to them and be real, like, "Hey, I don't know much about cars or video games or Call of Duty, but I'd love to learn!" something like that. Then, as you grow closer to them, you'll be able to have fun in a lot of different ways! Something I didn't mention was that this particular group of friends of mine is composed entirely of strong atheists (well... and one deist). So when I'm around them, the downside is that I feel like I'm keeping half of ME from them because of the importance my faith is to me (we DO talk about faith and other such things-- just not on a sentence-to-sentence basis like I'm used to with my Franciscan friends lol). And even though we disagree on LITERALLY almost everything, we're somehow still the best of friends. My theory is that all you really need in a good friend is a similar moral code (aka-- they'll treat you and others with dignity and respect and behave like an overall good person). Because that's one of the only things my friends and I have in common lol. So... I guess what I'm saying is, don't write them all off so soon. Give them a chance and try to get to know them maybe! You never know what blessings may come of it :smile3:

[LittleWaySoul]

I hate to be the poop in the punch bowl, but that seems to be my lot in life.  It is highly unlikely that you are as good looking as you seem to think you are.  That could be a major part of the problem.  Of course people are going to tell you that IRL.  People lie all the time, especially if they can get something out of you.  The only way to know for sure is to ask people that don't know you IRL.  They'll be brutally honest.  Once you identify the problem (ugliness), it will be easier to formulate a game plan. Thankfully we have a wonderful tool that allows perfect strangers to savage one another in complete anonymity.  QED

 

When I was in the seminary, occasionally we would overhear an old woman (they were always old) say, "Oh, what a waste!" when she would catch sight of a handsome seminarian.  Of course, what they didn't say (but were definitely thinking) to the ugly ones was, "Yes, honey, you're exactly where you should be, safely away from the women."  Garrulous old biddies. 

 

Anyhoo, there was a point there that got lost somehow, but you're a clever kid so I'm sure you can figure it out.  When you do, let me know what it was. :cool:

Except, with all due honesty coming from someone online that he's never met in person, I think that Miles is a very handsome young man. So... I don't think it has to do with looks :)

Side note: I literally DESPISE when people say stuff like that... "Father What-A-Waste." UGH. Who are they to question God's plan for a person? Why should looks determine one's vocation? THEY DON'T. You would never say to a less-attractive person, "Oh, it's such a shame you aren't considering the priesthood. No woman could ever want you," so why would you say, "Oh, it's such a shame you're becoming a priest. There are lots of women who would definitely want you," to an attractive priest-to-be? Ugh, it just really irks me. Just. Don't question God's plan. IF HE WANTS HIS PRIESTS TO BE ATTRACTIVE, HE WILL MAKE THEM GOSHDARNED ATTRACTIVE FOR GOODNESS SAKE.  //endrant

[PhuturePriest]

I hate to be the poop in the punch bowl, but that seems to be my lot in life.  It is highly unlikely that you are as good looking as you seem to think you are.  That could be a major part of the problem.  Of course people are going to tell you that IRL.  People lie all the time, especially if they can get something out of you.  The only way to know for sure is to ask people that don't know you IRL.  They'll be brutally honest.  Once you identify the problem (ugliness), it will be easier to formulate a game plan. Thankfully we have a wonderful tool that allows perfect strangers to savage one another in complete anonymity.  QED

 

When I was in the seminary, occasionally we would overhear an old woman (they were always old) say, "Oh, what a waste!" when she would catch sight of a handsome seminarian.  Of course, what they didn't say (but were definitely thinking) to the ugly ones was, "Yes, honey, you're exactly where you should be, safely away from the women."  Garrulous old biddies. 

 

Anyhoo, there was a point there that got lost somehow, but you're a clever kid so I'm sure you can figure it out.  When you do, let me know what it was. :cool:

 

Well, it seems we have one vote saying I am, so I won't comment on that. But here's the thing anyway: looks don't matter. If looks matter to you, I'm sorry, but you're vain. No girl is going to not marry the man she loves because she doesn't find him attractive, because there is always something about that person that will make you think he is attractive. The first girl I ever really liked I thought was the most beautiful woman on the planet. My sister thought she was just so-so, but to me she was more beautiful than any supermodel (And I still think that). Love has a way of making physical attraction happen, even if the majority of the population believes your physical attraction is whack.

[Norseman82]

I like how you effectively thought up a bunch of random facts that aren't even facts. You got 99% of your facts about me wrong. Nice try. All of my close friends are my age, and they are girls, just for reference.

 

FP, I have to agree with Hotpink to a certain extent.  I am a veteran of this forum and will back him up that some of the things that he has pointed out are things that you yourself have brought up, so don't take his head off.  You are living a roller coaster life, bouncing from losing your virginity (and if there's one thing I can't stand, it's a whiny non-virgin) to discerning priesthood, to not discerning priesthood to dumping on a female virgin in a prior thread. 

 

All they care about are sports, cars, sport cars, sports that involve cars, and Call of Duty. I'm just not into any of that. I don't want to play sports and video games with people all the time. Sometimes I just want to go on a walk and talk, or something of that nature. But unfortunately, there just aren't guys I've met who are like that (Except for some college guys I'm friends with).

 

I'm a guy who has worked in IT longer than you've been alive, therefore I have a double tendency to want to offer solutions to problems.  You just got a black belt in karate, right?  Why don't you take up boxing or MMA?  I'm sure you can make everlasting (pun intended) friendships there. 

Edited June 11, 2013 by Norseman82

[HisChildForever]

Well, it seems we have one vote saying I am, so I won't comment on that. But here's the thing anyway: looks don't matter. If looks matter to you, I'm sorry, but you're vain. No girl is going to not marry the man she loves because she doesn't find him attractive, because there is always something about that person that will make you think he is attractive. The first girl I ever really liked I thought was the most beautiful woman on the planet. My sister thought she was just so-so, but to me she was more beautiful than any supermodel (And I still think that). Love has a way of making physical attraction happen, even if the majority of the population believes your physical attraction is whack.

 

In my opinion, the most important thing is hygiene and a well-kept appearance. Looking healthy and clean is the foundation for attractiveness. The rest is how we "dress" ourselves - literally the clothing that most flatters our bodies, and figuratively in how we style our hair, wear make-up (for the ladies), and the way we hold ourselves. I've seen all types of people (physically-speaking) with romantic partners and we really just can't compare people.

[PhuturePriest]

In my opinion, the most important thing is hygiene and a well-kept appearance. Looking healthy and clean is the foundation for attractiveness. The rest is how we "dress" ourselves - literally the clothing that most flatters our bodies, and figuratively in how we style our hair, wear make-up (for the ladies), and the way we hold ourselves. I've seen all types of people (physically-speaking) with romantic partners and we really just can't compare people.

 

Exactly. My hygiene has greatly improved since I was fourteen (When I found showering to be a monthly affair rather than a daily one), and I've been focusing on getting clothes that fit properly and look good on me. My parents always bought me clothes that were too big because I would "grow into them", but by the time I grew into them they would be faded and torn, and it was time to get new ones that again didn't fit. I've also found getting shirts that aren't all black and brown works well. :P I've upgraded to purple (My favorite shirt), red, and blue. I really need some more colors. :P I also gave in a few months ago and started using acne medication for the first time ever, and I'm amazed that it actually works! I thought it was a scam that preyed upon desperate teenaged girls and boys. :P

[Lilllabettt]

No girl is going to not marry the man she loves because she doesn't find him attractive, because there is always something about that person that will make you think he is attractive.

 

 I don't get it.

[Dr. Bombay]

Well, it seems we have one vote saying I am, so I won't comment on that. But here's the thing anyway: looks don't matter. If looks matter to you, I'm sorry, but you're vain. No girl is going to not marry the man she loves because she doesn't find him attractive, because there is always something about that person that will make you think he is attractive. The first girl I ever really liked I thought was the most beautiful woman on the planet. My sister thought she was just so-so, but to me she was more beautiful than any supermodel (And I still think that). Love has a way of making physical attraction happen, even if the majority of the population believes your physical attraction is whack.

 

I shall likewise not comment on your looks since I find almost all men horribly ugly.  And besides, I have no idea what you look like anyway.  I was merely putting it out there as a possible cause of your woes.  Now consider this.  Most girls your age find Justin Bieber incredibly attractive.  Think about that for a moment.  What does this tell us?  Much, if we have but eyes to see.

 

Looks are the bait, attraction is the hook.  You won't catch much except really dumb fish using only a hook.  Ponder this if you will.

 

You'll notice I'm pretty good with metaphors and not half bad with analogies either.  QED :|

[HisChildForever]

(and if there's one thing I can't stand, it's a whiny non-virgin)

 

Uh, whiny people in general are annoying.