How Do I Deal With This? (aka All Hell Broke Loose On Fb)

[inunionwithrome]

I know it's hard to do: ignore their comments, or better yet, just don't reply. I've had to do that myself in this fb world. Pray for their souls. :) :pope2:

[LittleWaySoul]

Apologize. Doesn't mean you have to bow down to them. Don't give any excuses or conditions. Simply apologize, and that you had no malice behind what you posted. After that, you will see who are the real immature people.

 

Then, I would reply to the dude telling him you understand what he is saying. And he could have delivered the message without be crude and vulgar.Then, I would immediately block him so he can't see you or message you on FB.

 

 

In that case, I would claim ignorance and say,

 

I don't know what's going on. Did I saying something that hurt someone. If so, I apologize. Please forgive me. And if you'd like to talk about please PM me.

 

And that I would drop it and move on, unless someone comes to you.  Again, I would not make excuses. Don't try to be a peacemaker and make everyone happy and group hug.

 

This. Basically everything Papist said has been excellent advice. Be as kind and charitable as possible, tell them you don't know what they're talking about, but you're sorry for any offense as it was not intended, and end it with a "God bless you!" with a smiley face. Sometimes when I force myself to be kind and put a smiley at the end of a tense comment/message even though I'm not actually happy with those I'm communicating with, it calms me down a bit and I start to feel *actually* charitable instead of just forcing myself to be. If that makes any sense.

[DiscerningCatholic]

They are complaining about my use of emoticons, saying that THAT is immature, too. :|

 

I left it as this. I told the someone who told me about this that I'm done talking about this unless someone comes directly to me and lets me know that something is bothering them. Because once her fiance got involved saying that I was being rude to her - which I wasn't; I don't see how anything I said could have even come across as rude - I began to suspect that this was something beyond people complaining about me. They wouldn't tell me anything specific about what was bugging people or even give me an idea of WHO has been saying this. They just told me that they were "trying to help me" like I was some kind of mental patient and would tell me to "stop and listen" to them, since they're older and I am therefore obligated to worship them...even though I don't even know one of them. What was ironic was that they would tell me to stop being immature WITHOUT telling me HOW I was being immature, and would use very crude, vulgar language THEMSELVES while doing so. Because seeing they way they went crazy when I told them that I don't know what's going on and expressed my frustration with the fact that people couldn't just man up and let me know directly,  I honestly doubt if they could be dealing with this any better than I am. Her fiance said that if he was in my shoes, he'd just say, "Okay" and pray about it. But he went absolutely berserk when I said that it was unreasonable that she didn't come to me sooner, saying, "DO NOT DISRESPECT MY FIANCE." 

 

I honestly suspect that this is about more than a couple of people being frustrated with me. 

Edited June 10, 2013 by DiscerningCatholic

[DiscerningCatholic]

I honestly suspect that this is about more than a couple of people being frustrated with me. 

 

Meaning that I honestly think that this is about more than letting me know that something I'm doing isn't exactly their cup of tea. I think that this is becoming "We need someone who we can be catty and sly with and beat up." And I won't put up with it.

[PhuturePriest]

Typical, FP...typical.

 

Have you ever tried leading your life with power and intimidation? Don't knock it until you've tried it.

[DiscerningCatholic]

Have you ever tried leading your life with power and intimidation? Don't knock it until you've tried it.

 

It's really not my thing, FP... :unsure:

[PhuturePriest]

It's really not my thing, FP... :unsure:

 

How do you know if something is not your thing if you haven't tried it? As I am constantly reminded about food, I can't say I hate it unless I've actually tasted it.

[AnneLine]

Just give 'em some space, DC.  Sounds like they are upset about something that probably isn't really about you... but you inadvertently hit one of their buttons and they are making it about you.   Just pray for 'em and leave 'em alone.

 

We love you. :console:

[DiscerningCatholic]

Well, they claim that it has been "building and building for months"...but if that's so and NOBODY said anything to me, I really don't believe it.

[HisChildForever]

They sound like toxic people. I'd cut them off.

[Maggyie]

I don't get it?? Do they think you are being braggy or something?? The only thing that I could see would annoy them would be the discerning since 3 thing, most toddlers don't really have the intellectual capacity to begin discerning a call as the Church truly understands it (thinking nuns are cool or pretty or wanting to be one when you grow up doesn't really count, I wanted to be a bathtub when I grew up).  But still what's the big deal. People are weird. Sadly this behavior is not limited to high schoolers.

[Selah]

I agree with HisChildForever. 

[Dr. Bombay]

The simple solution is to delete your FB account.  I've been FB free since 2008 and have not regretted it.

 

Is the advantage of FB (whatever it might be) worth the agony and stress you've gone through in the past 24 hours? 

 

Besides, we now know the NSA is creeping your profile like the nosy pervs they are.  Ponder that one if you will.

[vee]

 

So basically, people are getting mad because I left a couple of comments that THEY interepreted to be "immature" or something else - which was definitely NOT my intention - and instead of THEM doing the mature thing and telling me directly that something I said upset them, they're all going to someone ELSE to complain.

 

And then of course this someone else thinks that I desperately need to mature and, in her words, "need to grow the hell up" and that I desperately need help. The reason she thinks I shouldn't get mad over this is because she's "going through some s%$^ right now and isn't in the mood to hear it." Well, you can be going through whatever s%$^ you please, but that does NOT mean that I have to be a doormat for people who are too cowardly to just address a problem directly.

 

It's not so much WHAT they're saying about me as it is HOW they're saying it. I don't give a toss as to what people think of me; they could call me names to my face for all I care. But if they deal with a problem they think I have by going to SOMEONE ELSE instead of me but still expect me to magically fix everything, then I have a problem. The way that people have "dealt" with this is about as logical as throwing a temper tantrum because you're tired of someone else's temper tantrums. You can't fix something you perceive as immaturity by acting in an immature fashion.

 

And what really irks me is that the someone who told me about this keeps saying, "THEY'RE HIGH SCHOOLERS. THEY'RE GOING TO TALK BEHIND YOUR BACK." So that makes THEIR immature behavior okay, but it's still okay for them to be stomping all over me for a few comments that they felt were immature. The whole thing is so hypocritical, which is really what's making me angry. And the person who told me about this won't tell me WHO has been talking about me OR what they've been saying, so I STILL don't know specifically what the problem is. I can't fix a problem that I don't know about. And I will NOT walk on eggshells/stop commenting on things because some people's precious fee-fees might get hurt might misinterpret my comments.

 

And then this someone's FIANCE messaged me last night. He thought he could just tell me to listen to him and to go along with everything he told me to do...I'VE NEVER EVEN TALKED TO THE GUY. And then he had the nerve to tell me, "DO NOT GROW BALLS AND DISRESPECT MY FIANCE."

 

WHILE TELLING ME THAT I AM SUPPOSED TO JUST SIT BACK AND LISTEN TO AND AGREE WITH PEOPLE WHO DISRESPECT *ME.*

 

Like I said, it's the hypocrisy and immaturity of how EVERYONE ELSE is dealing with this that's making me mad. Not the fact that people have a problem with something I'm doing.

 

 

 

So I'm not sure how I am supposed to deal with this. I've considered unfriending the someone, but that's not going to fix anything; it's just going to make her more mad at me than she already is. 

 

 

 

 

after reading all this and before reading anything else in the thread all I can say is its fb ban hammer time. 

[Era Might]

Facebook is lame, bail.