Dating And Discernment: Pros And Cons

[Sister Marie]

Sister Marie,

 

I totally get where you're coming from.  The Church herself emphasizes the discipleship part of life lived according to the evangelical counsels, rather than emphasizing any kind of bridal imagery.  I think this was a wise move on the part of the Church because the Church wanted to make the distinction clearer that the vows are the heart of the vocation to religious life, not a bridal spirituality.  Yes, the male religious or female religious reflects the Church as Bride more fully than your average baptized person... but discerning religious life is primarily about whether one is called to take on these specific obligations as a way of following Christ.  This is a lot different than discerning a spousal vocation- vocation to marriage or consecrated virginity.  I encountered this in my own discernment process.  Is a specific way of life, a particular charism my call?  Is being married to a man whom I love tenderly in God my call?  Or is being married to Christ directly my call?  Active religious communities want you to think that the heart of discerning their way of life is whether you are called to be a bride.  It isn't.  It is whether to follow a charism.

 

Regards,

ABC

 

I think you  may want to say that some active religious communities want you to think this.  As an active religious in an apostolic community the vows have always been the focus of my formation and religious life and the same has been true of the wonderful women religious with whom I have lived and served.  There are some appropriate expressions of love for Jesus as an intimate other like in the engraving on our ring and in the words spoken at the profession liturgy) but it is not the focus or the summit of our religious lives.   The vows and the living of those in a particular spiritual and communal tradition are the central tenants of our lives together.

 

Thanks for this discussion.  I wish I knew more about consecrated virginity than I do but your posts and the posts of the other consecrated virgins are always enlightening. 

[abrideofChrist]

I think you  may want to say that some active religious communities want you to think this.  As an active religious in an apostolic community the vows have always been the focus of my formation and religious life and the same has been true of the wonderful women religious with whom I have lived and served.  There are some appropriate expressions of love for Jesus as an intimate other like in the engraving on our ring and in the words spoken at the profession liturgy) but it is not the focus or the summit of our religious lives.   The vows and the living of those in a particular spiritual and communal tradition are the central tenants of our lives together.

 

Thanks for this discussion.  I wish I knew more about consecrated virginity than I do but your posts and the posts of the other consecrated virgins are always enlightening. 

 

Yes, I edited that as soon as I noticed I hadn't originally written "some". 

 

As for the vocation- the very best source for understanding it is the Rite itself.  The Introduction, the Homily, and the Prayer of Consecration are very beautiful and informative. 

[Pax_et bonum]

Yes, we could change things for our modern traditionalist sensibilities.  Let's look at a few terms that we can change.

 

"Clothing".  Let's stop using this to refer to the ceremony of someone receiving a habit from the Church and instead let's use that term for modestly dressing.  After all, we do "clothe" ourselves, do we not? 

 

"Investiture"  Let's stop using this to refer to the ceremony of someone receiving a habit from the Church and instead let's use this term to refer to something like supporting bonds for convents.
 

Veiling is a specific act of the Church.  It has a special significance.  Let's keep it that way.  And by the way, not all religious communities for women have veils.  Interestingly, they are all pretty much apostolic communities.  Like the Franciscans I saw who have a tunic and hood and who keep their hair short.  From a distance they looked like friars. Or the sisters from somewhere in Ohio who wear a blue suit with a blue hat (and maybe even gloves!).

:huh: Clothing and investiture do have meanings outside of receiving the habit. That doesn't mean we can't use them for receiving the habit too. ??? Words can have more than one meaning, so I don't get your point. :huh:

[abrideofChrist]

:huh: Clothing and investiture do have meanings outside of receiving the habit. That doesn't mean we can't use them for receiving the habit too. ??? Words can have more than one meaning, so I don't get your point. :huh:

 

Shrug.  We can discuss the meanings of words all day long and not keep to the point of this thread which is discernment and dating.  Yes, words can have more than one meaning.  But we should use some words more carefully than others because of the great potential for misleading people.  Just because you object to my requesting people to restricting the word "veiling" to those who have been conferred the veil by the Church or acknowledge that the words clothing and investiture can have multiple meanings doesn't mean that Catholics shouldn't automatically be able to use the word clothing and have it understood to mean the habit-bestowing ceremony.  Veiling should bring to mind the sacred ceremonies of the conferral of the veil upon the virgin and upon the nun and not the comparatively trivial practice of some women to wear something upon their hair.  "Religious" in discernment terms usually refers to members of religious institutes not to pious "religious" people.  Sure, we can be relativist and say anything can mean anything, but if we as Catholics stoop to that, then nothing means anything.