photosynthesis Posted June 4, 2013 Share Posted June 4, 2013 I'm on the leadership team for a local [secular] mom's group and just found out that one of our members is going through a really rough pregnancy. It seems that the child has some kind of genetic disorder where the brain doesn't completely form and it's unlikely that she'll survive for very long outside the womb. This mother is really heartbroken and her doctor has recommended that she 'terminate' the pregnancy. And we all know what that means. Does anyone have any advice as to how to counsel her? I'm not a doctor so I'm not sure if she'll listen to me when her doctor is telling her to terminate, even though it's disgraceful that this passes for 'healthcare.' anyone here have any advice? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lil Red Posted June 4, 2013 Share Posted June 4, 2013 she will regret for the rest of her life not looking upon the face of her child. i would contact feminists for life and see if they have any resources to help. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amppax Posted June 4, 2013 Share Posted June 4, 2013 Don't have any advice but I'll pray for her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Adoro te devote Posted June 4, 2013 Share Posted June 4, 2013 (edited) Let's pretend her name is Shelly. If it were me I would say... "Shelly, that kid's still fighting, don't give up on him/her! They say that he/she wont likely live long outside of the womb? Screw the doctors! Your child, flesh of your flesh, blood of your blood, is still fighting right now no matter what those doctors are saying. I don't know if he/she will make it, I don't know if he/she will grow into a healthy little guy/girl. But I do know that you are his/her mum and he/she needs you to be strong and give him/her a shot at life. Even if he/she only takes one breath after coming out, he/she'll have earned that breath, he/she'll have fought for that taste of air with all that was in his/her power. Shelly I know it's heartbreaking. But don't give him/her life only to take it away again before he/she's even had a chance." Edited June 4, 2013 by Adoro te devote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
organwerke Posted June 4, 2013 Share Posted June 4, 2013 Well, I highly recommend her to see this video: http://www.chiaracorbellapetrillo.it/tag/audiovideo/ I know this is an incredible story of a modern saint since this woman who went through a similar situation and decided not to practice abortion had then the most incredible disadventures and finally died for cancer at the age of 28 last year because she decided to protect the new life of her third child before she started to cure herself. But this video explains why she refused to practice abortion with her first child who had the same diagnosis of your friend's child. Also, I have 2 first hand experiences where the doctors had diagnosed the worst scenario (really similar to this one that you describe) and then actually the damages were much more limited and the children are born with some problems yes but very lighter than those who were diagnosed and now are doing well. So, in one case as another I would say: abortion is ALWAYS the worst option!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
To Jesus Through Mary Posted June 4, 2013 Share Posted June 4, 2013 That is such a hard situation. I will be praying for her. I do know of a couple places that specialize in this. This being such a complicated and extremely sensitive situation, you might want to reach out to those who know this well. http://www.katherineelizabethfoundation.org/ http://www.benotafraid.net/ Then after reading your post, I called the life office in NYC (I saw you were in Jersey, but I don't know how close to the City you are...) and Sr. Shirley Ann from the Sisters of Life recommended you called the Gianna Center (which is a pro-life obgyn/fertility office in NYC) because the Dr. there is really starting to get involved with this. So you might try that route as well... http://www.fertilitycare.org/giannacenter Many prayers for you and her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VeniJesuAmorMi Posted June 4, 2013 Share Posted June 4, 2013 I volunteer at a pregnancy care center. These Centers are blessings for girls and women facing difficult situations and decisions. The people that volunteer there truly want to be there for them and help them make the right choice. I would recommend finding one for her that she could contact and get the real help she needs while going through this painful time. I'll be going to the Center on Thursday and I will be sure to tell the other advisors there with me about her and we'll pray for her and add her to the rosary intentions. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VeniJesuAmorMi Posted June 4, 2013 Share Posted June 4, 2013 That is such a hard situation. I will be praying for her. I do know of a couple places that specialize in this. This being such a complicated and extremely sensitive situation, you might want to reach out to those who know this well. http://www.katherineelizabethfoundation.org/ http://www.benotafraid.net/ Then after reading your post, I called the life office in NYC (I saw you were in Jersey, but I don't know how close to the City you are...) and Sr. Shirley Ann from the Sisters of Life recommended you called the Gianna Center (which is a pro-life obgyn/fertility office in NYC) because the Dr. there is really starting to get involved with this. So you might try that route as well... http://www.fertilitycare.org/giannacenter Many prayers for you and her. I'd really have to recommend this as well. :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CatholicsAreKewl Posted June 4, 2013 Share Posted June 4, 2013 I'm on the leadership team for a local [secular] mom's group and just found out that one of our members is going through a really rough pregnancy. It seems that the child has some kind of genetic disorder where the brain doesn't completely form and it's unlikely that she'll survive for very long outside the womb. This mother is really heartbroken and her doctor has recommended that she 'terminate' the pregnancy. And we all know what that means. Does anyone have any advice as to how to counsel her? I'm not a doctor so I'm not sure if she'll listen to me when her doctor is telling her to terminate, even though it's disgraceful that this passes for 'healthcare.' anyone here have any advice? Maybe try convincing her to get a second opinion? A lot of doctors are idiots. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
homeschoolmom Posted June 4, 2013 Share Posted June 4, 2013 Wasn't there a thread a few years ago that contained a link to something like "Why I carried my baby to term" about just such a situation? Does anyone remember that? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brother Adam Posted June 4, 2013 Share Posted June 4, 2013 A lot of excellent advice in this thread. I will keep her in my prayers today. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IcePrincessKRS Posted June 4, 2013 Share Posted June 4, 2013 If I were in your shoes (and I was a couple years ago) I would just tell her that I know this is a horrible and heartbreaking thing to face, but if I were in her shoes I wouldn't terminate, I would carry the pregnancy to term so I could hold my baby for as long as we had together. So I could look on her face, and she would know the love of her mother, even if only for a very short period of time. It may not convince her (it didn't convince the woman I knew, I was the ONLY one saying it, and I just think it needs to be said), but it can't hurt. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OnlySunshine Posted June 4, 2013 Share Posted June 4, 2013 (edited) I think I would probably bring up the story of Tim Tebow, whose mother was told that he would likely not survive outside the womb and she should terminate because of placental abruption and they expected a stillbirth. Not only did he survive but he has done terrific things for UF football and promoting Christianity in sports! Think what would have happened if he was aborted because of a wrongful diagnosis? Now, her child might not have the same outcome, unfortunately, but doctors are not always right. What if the child were to survive and live a long life? I'd also show her this incredible story from the Sisters of Life: http://www.sistersoflife.org/vocation-story-two If everything else fails, contact the Sisters of Life and give them her phone number. Maybe they can do something to help. Edited June 4, 2013 by MaterMisericordiae Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FutureCarmeliteClaire Posted June 4, 2013 Share Posted June 4, 2013 Many, many prayers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tony Posted June 4, 2013 Share Posted June 4, 2013 Wasn't there a thread a few years ago that contained a link to something like "Why I carried my baby to term" about just such a situation? Does anyone remember that? is it this? http://www.phatmass.com/phorum/topic/12612-why-i-am-carrying-my-dying-child-to-term/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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