FutureCarmeliteClaire Posted May 31, 2013 Share Posted May 31, 2013 We are having one for my sister this week. I don't know if anyone else has done this or is willing to share about it, but I don't know what to expect. They can't do a funeral Mass or whatnot because the baby isn't baptized, but my parish does offer this for families who have miscarried. I'm nervous about it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lil Red Posted May 31, 2013 Share Posted May 31, 2013 it's a very simple ceremony. not much to it. ours lasted maybe 15 minutes, and was carried out graveside. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FutureCarmeliteClaire Posted May 31, 2013 Author Share Posted May 31, 2013 it's a very simple ceremony. not much to it. ours lasted maybe 15 minutes, and was carried out graveside. This is what I'm hoping for. I kind of want to just get it done. I know that sounds horrible, but... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tony Posted May 31, 2013 Share Posted May 31, 2013 . I know that sounds horrible, but... nah, not at all We're all different and deal with things our own way. I'd probably want it done and over with too to be honest :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lil Red Posted May 31, 2013 Share Posted May 31, 2013 This is what I'm hoping for. I kind of want to just get it done. I know that sounds horrible, but... it also depends on how much is done. there is the Blessing of Parents after a Miscarriage, the Rite of Committal, Funeral Mass, etc. Here is a link that tells more about it: http://www.bostoncatholic.org/Offices-And-Services/Office-Detail.aspx?id=12540&pid=464 Remember that as much as you are hurting over this, this will hopefully give your sister & husband closure and peace that their baby is being remembered in such a way. Be strong and supportive, remembering that words are not always necessary. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FutureCarmeliteClaire Posted May 31, 2013 Author Share Posted May 31, 2013 it also depends on how much is done. there is the Blessing of Parents after a Miscarriage, the Rite of Committal, Funeral Mass, etc. Here is a link that tells more about it: http://www.bostoncatholic.org/Offices-And-Services/Office-Detail.aspx?id=12540&pid=464 Remember that as much as you are hurting over this, this will hopefully give your sister & husband closure and peace that their baby is being remembered in such a way. Be strong and supportive, remembering that words are not always necessary. I meant that the baby is my sister. It's my mother's miscarriage. And definitely. As long as they have closure and all that, I'll be happy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lil Red Posted May 31, 2013 Share Posted May 31, 2013 I meant that the baby is my sister. It's my mother's miscarriage. And definitely. As long as they have closure and all that, I'll be happy. ahh, apologies for the misunderstanding. :) i would imagine that as much as you are able to project a calm exterior (whether or not it is true interiorly), you will be able to help your mom. i know that when i'm upset, I can keep it under control as long as others around me are calm and not being upset and uncontrollable in their emotions. everyone is different in grief, though. do as much as you can to support your mom - doing things without being asked, taking care of things so she doesn't have to worry about them, etc. prayers for your mom especially, and your whole family. Prayer for Resignation: O Mary, my Mother, obtain for me, I entreat you, the grace of a holy resignation. Obtain for me the grace to understand this trial which is so hard for me to bear. I know that God in His all-wise Providence has seen that it is for the best. Yet it is hard for me to sustain the grief I feel. I fly to you, dear Mother, Comfortress of the Afflicted and constant aid of those who trust in you. I know that you can obtain for me the peace and resignation that I seek. I confide in you entirely in this my tribulation and sorrow. You know the meaning of mother love and can understand the depth of my affliction. Be to me a tender and protecting Mother. For now, dear Mother Mary, I feel more than ever the need of your mothering love and sweet consolation. Amen. Mary sorrowing, Mother of all Christians, pray for us! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
homeschoolmom Posted May 31, 2013 Share Posted May 31, 2013 The saddest funeral I ever attended was for my friends' unborn child. :( Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FutureCarmeliteClaire Posted May 31, 2013 Author Share Posted May 31, 2013 ahh, apologies for the misunderstanding. :) i would imagine that as much as you are able to project a calm exterior (whether or not it is true interiorly), you will be able to help your mom. i know that when i'm upset, I can keep it under control as long as others around me are calm and not being upset and uncontrollable in their emotions. everyone is different in grief, though. do as much as you can to support your mom - doing things without being asked, taking care of things so she doesn't have to worry about them, etc. prayers for your mom especially, and your whole family. Prayer for Resignation: O Mary, my Mother, obtain for me, I entreat you, the grace of a holy resignation. Obtain for me the grace to understand this trial which is so hard for me to bear. I know that God in His all-wise Providence has seen that it is for the best. Yet it is hard for me to sustain the grief I feel. I fly to you, dear Mother, Comfortress of the Afflicted and constant aid of those who trust in you. I know that you can obtain for me the peace and resignation that I seek. I confide in you entirely in this my tribulation and sorrow. You know the meaning of mother love and can understand the depth of my affliction. Be to me a tender and protecting Mother. For now, dear Mother Mary, I feel more than ever the need of your mothering love and sweet consolation. Amen. Mary sorrowing, Mother of all Christians, pray for us! Thank you very much. :) Yeah, I've had to step in the past week, which is totally fine, it's my job. We found out she miscarried three weeks ago, so I have had time to process everything I've needed to. My mom has said that she has mostly as well. Of course it's still terribly sad. What happened this week is that we found out it was an ectopic pregnancy. Mom had an emergency surgery and almost died. We are all so thankful she is still with us. She's doing really well, though, thankfully. But this service thing still makes me nervous. I'm sure it will be fine, though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Socrates Posted June 2, 2013 Share Posted June 2, 2013 We had a funeral mass for our stillborn daughter (who had received a conditional Baptism - thus no prayers for the dead). It's sad, but there's really no reason to be nervous. It's basically the same as going to any other funeral. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FutureCarmeliteClaire Posted June 3, 2013 Author Share Posted June 3, 2013 Today is the day. I'm not as apprehensive as I was. I just want to get it over with, though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now