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How Do I Handle This Situation In A Christain Manner?


Annie12

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Walk up to him

 

"Hey, Im so glad youre my friend! Lets never not be friends!"

Then skip and run away!

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PhuturePriest

Because I'm Winchester.
 

 

You fools have taken all of my props. I shall expect to truly regret this later, as I can definitely see there being really good posts later that I'll attempt to prop in vain.

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CatholicsAreKewl

You fools have taken all of my props. I shall expect to truly regret this later, as I can definitely see there being really good posts later that I'll attempt to prop in vain.

 I bet $20 a year doesn't sound too bad right now, eh? 

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I'm at a loss of what to do about a young man who is relentless in perusing me. I tried to avoid him but then I felt as though I was being mean so I gave up avoiding him. I'm not interested because for the time being I would like to focus on my relationship with Christ (and also for other reasons which I'm not keen on sharing). Now, I am fine being friends with him but I don't want to be anymore than that. How do I get him to understand this without being unchristian about it? I have never been in this situation before. Please help!

 

"I don't want to be romantically involved with you.  Stop hitting on me.  Leave me alone"

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PhuturePriest

 I bet $20 a year doesn't sound too bad right now, eh? 

 

I'd probably pay it.

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If you want to handle it like a Christian then tell him that you love him eternally and unconditionally.  And then light him on fire and send him to hell.  

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GeorgiiMichael

If you're not sure he's actually hitting on you, bring up your discernment in conversation. He should rein things in pretty quickly. If he doesn't, tell him that you need a little space right now.

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Nihil Obstat

I'm at a loss of what to do about a young man who is relentless in perusing me. I tried to avoid him but then I felt as though I was being mean so I gave up avoiding him. I'm not interested because for the time being I would like to focus on my relationship with Christ (and also for other reasons which I'm not keen on sharing). Now, I am fine being friends with him but I don't want to be anymore than that. How do I get him to understand this without being unchristian about it? I have never been in this situation before. Please help!

Start avoiding him again. You have no social or moral obligation to spend time with someone who makes you uncomfortable.

If you are feeling gutsy enough then you can straight up tell him that you want him to back off. But just avoiding him is entirely acceptable.

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Just tell him srsly.

 

If he is cool with being friends, then maybe he will stick around and youll get to keep a good friend. If not, then he will be gone. Problem solved

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Basilisa Marie

Tell him you're discerning, and are exclusively focusing on your relationship with Christ.  If he actually wants to be your friend, he'll take it in stride and back off trying to date you.  If he's just trying to use friendship as leverage for a relationship, he'll back off too.  Don't give him the impression that he just has to hold out and "wait for you" or some nonsense like that.  If he doesn't back off after telling him about your discerning, then have an upfront, blunt conversation with him. Do you know for a fact that he's "pursuing" you?  Has HE told you this? Has someone told you that he has a crush on you? If not, he might just be clingy, and if that's the case, you can do the avoiding/"I'm busy" game.  

 

Sometimes the kindest thing you can do is not worry so much about sparing someone's feelings.  

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Honestly, I can't see anything there that definitely says he is pursuing you, definitely not to the extent that you need to be straight out "I don't want to be with you".  I treat my friends the way you describe, and I have no romantic intentions towards them. If you want to be his friend, be his friend. Simple as. If he makes an advance, like asking you out, then be clear. But nothing you have said seems indicative of aggressive pursuit. 

 

TL:DR - Just chill out. 

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Guest Allie

 
I wonder if maybe you should just back off a little from the friendship if being with him makes you so uncomfortable. It really doesn't sound like he is clearly after a romantic relationship.  

Edited by Allie
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I'm at a loss of what to do about a young man who is relentless in perusing me. I tried to avoid him but then I felt as though I was being mean so I gave up avoiding him. I'm not interested because for the time being I would like to focus on my relationship with Christ (and also for other reasons which I'm not keen on sharing). Now, I am fine being friends with him but I don't want to be anymore than that. How do I get him to understand this without being unchristian about it? I have never been in this situation before. Please help!

 

Tell him straight out that you are not interested in a relationship with him. Don't say the F-word. Being friends will be an impediment for him to move on. I recommend keeping a good distance for a while. 

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