Zoe1188 Posted May 27, 2013 Share Posted May 27, 2013 Hello Everyone, I'm Zoe. I am currently discerning religious life. It would be amazing to me to be a spouse of Christ!! There's a problem though. I have a personal history of childhood abuse and adult sexual abuse. Because of the problems I have faced I am currently in counseling and on antidepressant medication. I know all orders are different, but does anyone have experience with being accepted to a religious order that was o.k with a sister or brother being on these types of medicines? I am going to visit a Franciscan order later this month, but have not told the vocation directoress about my history. Should I build a relationship with her and the community first before discussing my history? I would hate for this to ruin my ability to give myself completely to the Lord. Any insight would be greatly appreciated!! Blessings! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spem in alium Posted May 27, 2013 Share Posted May 27, 2013 Hello Everyone, I'm Zoe. I am currently discerning religious life. It would be amazing to me to be a spouse of Christ!! There's a problem though. I have a personal history of childhood abuse and adult sexual abuse. Because of the problems I have faced I am currently in counseling and on antidepressant medication. I know all orders are different, but does anyone have experience with being accepted to a religious order that was o.k with a sister or brother being on these types of medicines? I am going to visit a Franciscan order later this month, but have not told the vocation directoress about my history. Should I build a relationship with her and the community first before discussing my history? I would hate for this to ruin my ability to give myself completely to the Lord. Any insight would be greatly appreciated!! Blessings! Hi Zoe! And welcome to the phorum :) I do not have direct experience with what you are describing and I'm sure someone else could do a much better job of answering your questions. I have some issues that may be a potential hindrance to joining a community, and I do understand your reservations and hesitations. I know that a person's psychological/psychiatric state is taken into considerable account when applying to enter a community. I think it's very important to be open when discerning - open with yourself and with the communities and sisters you meet. That way, your entire journey together is an honest one. Holding you in prayer. Blessings! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pax_et bonum Posted May 27, 2013 Share Posted May 27, 2013 We don't have a hugging smiley so here's some cake instead :cake: That's really personal information, so yes, I would build a relationship first. It would be bad to wait too long to tell a community though. Maybe at the end of your visit, if you still feel drawn to that community, would be a good time to tell the vd or put it in your next email/letter. I wouldn't make a second visit without telling her, I don't think. If God is calling you to religious life, nothing can stop you. God doesn't ask of us the impossible, so don't worry. Others can tell you better about being accepted when on medication. I only recently started my antidepressant and still need to write Sister about it, but she already knew about some of my health problems. I think it would be better for me to enter after I'm off medication, and I think that's what she'll say too but we'll see. (Sorry, moving my reply to try and keep this all on one thread.) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
To Jesus Through Mary Posted May 27, 2013 Share Posted May 27, 2013 I have some experience with the whole history thing, although I am not on any medication. Especially since you are dealing with such a sensitive subject, it can be very heart-wretching. I think there are pros and cons to every side.The method I found that worked for me was to say a little something before I would go for a visit. Like "Do you have any sort of exclusionary rule against people that come from histories of abuse?" And leave it vague, and if they ask questions I would answer in generalities trying to make it sound undramatic. Then as we build a relationship I would disclose a bit more. I did this method because I got tired of going on visits just to find out I wouldn't even be considered. My history is a bit severe, so I am not sure if you would be in the same boat or not. And remember they are obstacles- not absolute impediments. :) God can still use us. If you have any other questions feel free to PM and I can share more of my experiences. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EmilyAnn Posted May 27, 2013 Share Posted May 27, 2013 If I were you, I would be honest with them sooner rather than later. ToJesusThroughMary's suggestion seems like a sensible course of action. Another consideration is that perhaps it would be best to focus on your treatment before you discern further - for the sake of your psychological health more than anything else. If you are called, it's not going to go away. Remember that God is not going to call you to something if it is impossible. If it is really His will for you to be a religious, then there is a path for you. And don't forget that you don't have to be a religious to give yourself totally to the Lord. :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zoe1188 Posted May 27, 2013 Author Share Posted May 27, 2013 Good news! I emailed the directoress of the sisters I'm visiting and told her about my situation and that I was on medication and she said it wouldn't automatically disqualify me from discerning with them. Praise God! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OnlySunshine Posted May 27, 2013 Share Posted May 27, 2013 Good news! I emailed the directoress of the sisters I'm visiting and told her about my situation and that I was on medication and she said it wouldn't automatically disqualify me from discerning with them. Praise God! Do you mind if I ask which order you are discerning with? It might be one of the ones I visited. :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zoe1188 Posted May 27, 2013 Author Share Posted May 27, 2013 Do you mind if I ask which order you are discerning with? It might be one of the ones I visited. :) Franciscan Sisters of the Immaculate in New Bedford, MA Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mary's Child Posted May 27, 2013 Share Posted May 27, 2013 Welcome! Zoe and how wonderful that you are seeking Gods will for your life. It really depends on the community when it comes to this type of thing. Some communities will exclude you right away but for others they won't care. I also have a similar situation except for the medications and there were many communities I visited where I did not discuss this with them but I also did not usually go back for a second visit. There was one community that I did visit quite a bit but I never told them about my past and in the end it didn't work out I wonder if it would have changed anything if I had let them know. Now I am discerning very seriously with another order and after my first visit I did tell the Superior/ Vocations Director about it. When I told her she asked me some specific questions about my situation including how I am handling it. So I would agree with others that it would be good to share with them after the first visit if you think you may be called there. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OnlySunshine Posted May 27, 2013 Share Posted May 27, 2013 Franciscan Sisters of the Immaculate in New Bedford, MA I never visited them but I was in contact with Sr. Maria Consolatrice for a while. My friend, Lilly, is entering with them on Friday! :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zoe1188 Posted May 27, 2013 Author Share Posted May 27, 2013 I never visited them but I was in contact with Sr. Maria Consolatrice for a while. My friend, Lilly, is entering with them on Friday! :) I might meet her! :smile3: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kateri89 Posted May 27, 2013 Share Posted May 27, 2013 Excellent order :) As they say, Ave Maria! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
To Jesus Through Mary Posted May 27, 2013 Share Posted May 27, 2013 Good news! I emailed the directoress of the sisters I'm visiting and told her about my situation and that I was on medication and she said it wouldn't automatically disqualify me from discerning with them. Praise God! That's great!! I can't wait to hear how it goes! I will be praying for you!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dymphnamaria Posted May 28, 2013 Share Posted May 28, 2013 Franciscan Sisters of the Immaculate in New Bedford, MA Wonderful! They are beautiful community, you will surely love those sisters. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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