Bg's Random Ramblings And Thoughts 3

[CrossCuT]

I am not very privy to the background and history between you and M but I hope things turn out. 

[BG45]

I am not very privy to the background and history between you and M but I hope things turn out. 

 

Thanks.  And if not, well, guess that's how it happens.  (Not trying to sound callous, just prepping myself for no further contact probably.)

[CrossCuT]

Could you give me a short history? Im curious!

[BG45]

Could you give me a short history? Im curious!

 

E-mailed on AMS for a few weeks, then traded phone numbers and texted a lot.  Skyped a few times.  Then two weeks ago she moved home to Ohio, didn't get cell service, but assured me we'd keep e-mailing and were probably still on for her visit.  She's now bailed on two visits though, one with me going to Pitt. to meet her while she was in town, and one where she was going to drive in to see me.

[BG45]

Old Boss from Advising Days:  Hey [BG], you're originally from WV, have you ever heard of this university?  Would this be a Bachelors or Masters transcript?  Because if I open it and it's the wrong level I just screwed someone over.

 

Me:  [That university] lost its accreditation.  I can tell you that any credits on there after January 1, 2013 are worthless.  But they had both a BA and MA program.

 

Old Boss:  Well [bad word], guess I have to play Russian Roulette and open it then.

[CrossCuT]

E-mailed on AMS for a few weeks, then traded phone numbers and texted a lot.  Skyped a few times.  Then two weeks ago she moved home to Ohio, didn't get cell service, but assured me we'd keep e-mailing and were probably still on for her visit.  She's now bailed on two visits though, one with me going to Pitt. to meet her while she was in town, and one where she was going to drive in to see me.

 

:( Hmm

Its hard to say what her reasoning is for not getting back to you. If I had to make a guess based off what you have said, Id say she probably isnt interested in going any further however she is to afraid to tell you at the risk of hurting your feelings.

Sometimes to spare someones feelings really isnt sparing them at all...its just stringing them along needlessly. I have been in the situation before as well as been the person who has been to afraid to speak up.

 

But even if that is the case, dont feel too bad! That just means the right girl for you is still searching as much as you are.

I know its really corny, but when I was single and searching, Id often offer up a prayer/telepathic message to my future husband. Id tell him everything that is on my mind...it was oddly therapeutic for me. Maybe its a sign of some underlying mental disorder...but none the less it made me feel confident.

I knew he was out there...sometimes it just takes some of us longer than others. Took me 25 years. I never even had a legit boyfriend until then.

But I think that is Gods way of making us ready. He is perfecting us and healing us so that we come totally commit to a relationship.

 

I know I had a lot of self esteem issues from sexual abuse in high school as well as the typical bullies, so I had a lot of personal healing I needed to deal with before I was able to commit to another person. 

 

 

So I guess what Im trying to say is no fear! It will happen even if it feels so far away! :)

[BG45]

That's kinda the vibe I was getting too.  And ditto on the stringing/being strung along thing.  And hopefully so, on the searching for one another thing.  I don't think it's weird to pray for one's future spouse at all (not just to find them, but for their everyday life); I've been doing it for years.  And it does help with confidence, you're right, because one isn't giving up hope and going "woe is me, forever alone".  Lovely way of looking at it btw, the healing and making ready for a relationship.  

 

:console:  I'm sorry about high school, you never should have had to go through any of that.  That just made me so angry...I'm sorry. :(  

 

And you're right!  It's not a race, despite the large number of PM engagements. :)  It will happen in God's time.  

[BG45]

I took a 10 mile walk today and took my camera with me, granted it's a cheap one for like $20 from Wal-Mart, but still.  Here's a few of the photos (and it was 12:45 when I started, not 7, and 2013, not 2010, etc.  Time was never set.):

 

 

 

Nearly stepped on this little guy while AL and I were chatting:

 

 

 

 

 

 

[xTrishaxLynnx]

10 miles! Looks like a beautiful place to walk.

[CrossCuT]

A 10 mile walk is pretty impressive. Im not sure my feel could handle it!

[BG45]

Thanks, it is pretty!  And I didn't think, the first time, that I could do 10 either.  My feet were killing me worse than normal yesterday though...found out why this morning when the thought occurred to shake the shoes out and a lot of small pebbles and other debris fell out of them into the trash can lol.

[AnneLine]

That's a little TOO penitential for my blood, BG!    
 

I don't think I would have been too worn out after a 10 mile in my 20's... now just a 3 or 4 makes my body feel.... aaaaaaagggggghhhh!

 

[CrossCuT]

Thanks, it is pretty!  And I didn't think, the first time, that I could do 10 either.  My feet were killing me worse than normal yesterday though...found out why this morning when the thought occurred to shake the shoes out and a lot of small pebbles and other debris fell out of them into the trash can lol.

 

Hehehehehhee!

So youre starting a rock collection in your shoes you say?

[BG45]

That's a little TOO penitential for my blood, BG!    
 

I don't think I would have been too worn out after a 10 mile in my 20's... now just a 3 or 4 makes my body feel.... aaaaaaagggggghhhh!

 

Mine too AL, mine too lol!  Sorry for 3 or 4 wearing you out :(  And it is wearing out!  I'm not K. from the cohort behind me, who runs 60 miles per week...

 

Hehehehehhee!

So youre starting a rock collection in your shoes you say?

Apparently!  And some leaves, and pine needles of some sort!  Very in touch with nature after the walk; my Neo Pagan friends would be proud perhaps.

[BG45]

Prison Mass.  Best story ever from the Gospel today too, the Pharisee and the Tax Collector.  I think nothing really works as well, when examining ourselves and our ministry, as that story.  Are we there because we care, or because we're like the Pharisee, going "look how religious and good I am".  or rather, are we there, and seeing the guys as our equals, for we are all sinners.  Also works well with how Francis answered an interview about who he was, "I am a sinner".

 

Edit:  Anyhow, cooking now for game night.  I told the Mormons I'd try to cook something for my contribution to our (usually junk food) potluck instead of just buying chips and dip.