OnlySunshine Posted May 16, 2013 Share Posted May 16, 2013 Hi all! I have a bit of a dilemma. I was discerning with a few religious orders before I stopped discerning in March and I sent emails to all of the orders, effectively ending my relationship with them (or so I thought). Yesterday, I received an email from one of the Sisters of the community that I asked to end communication with and she invited me to a discernment retreat. I'm a bit confused because she sent the email from another Sister's account and the email she used to correspond with me was the one I sent ending the relationship. I don't know if she read it or not. After reading the email and thinking about it for a minute, I tried to be polite and say that I was unable to attend the retreat because I'm in school and my mom is having surgery next week (both true). I was not sure if I should reiterate that I'm no longer discerning. I've made mistakes in the past and I make decisiions in black-and-white where I don't allow the Holy Spirit to work. The crazy thing about all this is that the original Sister I emailed (the Vocation Director) said that my medication would probably not work in their community and she would get back to me after she talked to the Superior. She never got back to me though before I broke off contact. How should I handle this? Should I reiterate to this new Sister that I do not want to discern with their community? I don't want to ignore her but I also don't want to be rude. :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
arfink Posted May 16, 2013 Share Posted May 16, 2013 You should probably tell them you're not going to discern with them anymore, so that they know to move on. Also, is it possible this is a form email? Maybe they just forgot to remove your name from the automated mailing system. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OnlySunshine Posted May 16, 2013 Author Share Posted May 16, 2013 You should probably tell them you're not going to discern with them anymore, so that they know to move on. Also, is it possible this is a form email? Maybe they just forgot to remove your name from the automated mailing system. OK, good idea. I just didn't want to appear rude or dismissive. I am sure it is not a form email because the Sister is casual in her responses and it's clear she is responding to what I write. :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
krissylou Posted May 16, 2013 Share Posted May 16, 2013 OK, good idea. I just didn't want to appear rude or dismissive. I am sure it is not a form email because the Sister is casual in her responses and it's clear she is responding to what I write. :) You wouldn't be rude. VDs get "thanks but no thanks" ALL THE TIME. Most people (virtually all, I would guess) who enter once place have also been exploring other communities along the way. Lots of people explore the possibility of religious life and discern that their path lies elsewhere. This is all fine and good and as it should be. So if you say "you're awful I hate you, I've decided to go worship frogs instead" that would be bad. But I don't think that's what you're going to do! "Thanks for this but I think my path lies elsewhere and I am no longer actively exploring religious life" is totally totally totally fine. (And much better than just leaving her hanging ...) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nikita92 Posted May 17, 2013 Share Posted May 17, 2013 "where I don't allow the Holy Spirit to work." Do I detect a glimmer of possible lingering interest ?? ;) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OnlySunshine Posted May 17, 2013 Author Share Posted May 17, 2013 (edited) "where I don't allow the Holy Spirit to work." Do I detect a glimmer of possible lingering interest ?? ;) Well, to be honest, there is always the lingering attraction but I do not believe I am called to the life. I was told there were three elements to a vocation: Ability Attraction Acceptance of community I'm missing at least one of these -- acceptance. I cannot find a community that will say yes and I am exhausted with the search. I am sure that I have looked at pretty much every community. 5 years is a long time to discern without getting anywhere. Edited May 17, 2013 by MaterMisericordiae Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kateri89 Posted May 17, 2013 Share Posted May 17, 2013 Discernment is a fickle companion...I'll just reiterate what the others have said. Politely decline her invite and let her know you've discerned that religious life is not for you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nikita92 Posted May 17, 2013 Share Posted May 17, 2013 You are a smart young woman ( plus I think you rock in religious communities research) and would be a asset to the medical field. My childhood friend worked in medical records. Her office was like a little community in itself. ;) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OnlySunshine Posted May 17, 2013 Author Share Posted May 17, 2013 You are a smart young woman ( plus I think you rock in religious communities research) and would be a asset to the medical field. My childhood friend worked in medical records. Her office was like a little community in itself. ;) Thank you! You're sweet. Please pray that I can finish this degree soon so I can finish the last 3 prerequisites I need for nursing school and apply to the Prelicensure program. :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OnlySunshine Posted May 17, 2013 Author Share Posted May 17, 2013 Today, I received another email from the Sister who wanted me to go on retreat so I was honest with her instead of "beating around the bush" again. I reminded her that her own Sister had said that religious life was probably incompatible with my health needs and that I was no longer discerning after 5 years. I hope this is the last email from them. :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nikita92 Posted May 17, 2013 Share Posted May 17, 2013 It's tuff to be strong...and you are! ;) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OnlySunshine Posted May 17, 2013 Author Share Posted May 17, 2013 (edited) It's tuff to be strong...and you are! ;) It's hard not to think "is this God's way of telling me to discern religious life again?" but I don't feel called to look any further. I'm sure the attraction will always be there because it is a beautiful life but I don't think I'm meant for it -- at least not now. :) misspelled a word... Edited May 17, 2013 by MaterMisericordiae Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nikita92 Posted May 17, 2013 Share Posted May 17, 2013 Yup..that's what entered my mind as well! You are young and still have youth on your side!! See how things go (school-medical career) Keep a open mind and heart. ;) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nikita92 Posted May 17, 2013 Share Posted May 17, 2013 Yup..that's what entered my mind as well! You are young and still have youth on your side!! See how things go (school-medical career) Keep a open mind and heart. ;) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nikita92 Posted May 17, 2013 Share Posted May 17, 2013 Yup..that's what entered my mind as well! You are young and still have youth on your side!! See how things go (school-medical career) Keep a open mind and heart. ;) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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