Gay: Born That Way?

[cappie]

Personally, I think "being gay" meaning, choosing a gay lifestyle, simply means that a person is choosing to live a sinful lifestyle. Same as people who are sexually active outside of marriage. Same as people who live a dishonest life of theft and crime. Same as people who choose to live a life of selfishness and gluttony. Same as married people who are not open to life. Gay acts are sinful, just like a long list of other sinful acts, and we all, gay and straight, should be trying to destroy that sin in our lives and be holy.

 

 Although Christian discipleship is costly, it need not be lonely. Our culture has become very fixated on sex, but sex and romance are not the same as love. Nor is Christian love the same as the kind of casual friendship that is common in our culture.

 

Aelred, a 12th-century Cistercian abbot, insists that we need to test our beliefs about friendship with Scripture in his little treatise "On Spiritual Friendship."  The treatise is a series of dialogues in which three monks join Aelred to examine their ideas about friendship in light of their Christian faith. One of Aelred’s insights points out that friendship is based on shared goals, and distinguishes between different kinds of friendship: carnal friendship, based on shared pursuit of pleasure; worldly friendship, based on mutual advantage; and spiritual friendship, grounded in shared discipleship.

 

Aelred insists that, contrary to the transitory nature of so many contemporary friendships, a friend in Christ “loves always” (Proverbs 17:17). He and the other monks discuss how to select and cultivate lasting and Christ-centered friendships.     Most in our culture—including many Christians—uphold romantic and sexual love as the most important form of love.

 

Aelred helped me  to see that obedience to Christ offered more to me than just the denial of sex and romance. Christ-centered chaste friendships offered a positive and fulfilling—albeit at times challenging—path to holiness.

Edited May 19, 2013 by cappie

[franciscanheart]

For most of the homosexual people I have met in my life, they all have had serious issues with "lack of solid female and/ or male role models." Also most of them have had horrible relationships with dating the opposite sex, and it changes their behavior and thinking because of the experiences of their dating. The childhood growth is important to factor in because it involves the lack of role models, and heavy abuse in the cases of children having same gender relations with the abusers, which influence the child's thinking on their own personal sexuality.

Usually dating the opposite sex doesn't work out well for gay people. :lol:

[CatholicsAreKewl]

Usually dating the opposite sex doesn't work out well for gay people. :lol:

ugh, yeah. Can you imagine how horrible it would be to kiss someone of the same sex? That's how it is for closeted gay people who try dating members of the opposite sex to appease their confused friends/parents/parish priest/golf coach. 

[Guest]

So why does God allow someone to be created gay then ? If they really are born that way and have no attraction to the opposite sex and really are attracted to the same sex through no fault of their own why is it "sin" for them to fall in love ? Some will say people are born retarded or born without a leg and its not Gods fault. But those things aren't a sin. And why God allows them I don't think anyone has the answer to that. An atheist will say its proof God doesn't exist. I disagree I think God exist. I just don't see how you can condemn someone for being gay if they really are born that way. And I know the responce to that is we don't condemn someone for being gay but for acting out on being gay. Ok I see the difference but yet in my mind it still changes everything if the person is born that way and its no choice of their own. Simply put I think if I was gay and aways knew I was gay and was never attracted to the opposite sex and people told me God would send me to hell if I fell in love with someone and was in a commited relationship I might tell them to go floppy themselves. And they base this all on a God they don't know for sure exist and off writing mainly in the o.t. that also approve other horrible things that we today know are wrong. An o.t. that presents its self as factual history yet seems to be the complete opposite. So ya that's where I would be if I was gay. I'm not and I for one do believe God to be true and the Catholic Church to be authentic and I trust her guidance and what she calls right and wrong. Yet I'm not going to lie the older I get the more God makes no sense to me. I say that with all humbleness and respect and fear of God. If God exist I know I'm a tiny spec of dust and God is God. I just don't understand a lot of things like this issue and why people suffer the way they do in life and go through the things they do.

Edited May 20, 2013 by Guest

[Guest]

I will also add that God has been really good to me. I have always had my health and always been able to take care of myself and have everything I need in life. I give all the credit and thanks to God. A God that I really do believe down to my core exist. Sometimes I just wonder though if this God is seperate from religion and if the Catholic Church really has sole claim on Him/Her/It. I remain Catholic so ya. Also most of the Churches teaching make sense to me. They honestly do. I don't think being gay is what God wants from people. Again 2 males having sex ? Really ? I don't think Jesus/God created people to live this way. Yet it makes no sense to me how many people can really be gay and have no choice in the matter. I always thought it was a choice. Yet it seems to be the opposite. That blows my mind. There are millions of gays who are really born to be attracted to the same sex. I don't get it.

Edited May 20, 2013 by Guest

[Basilisa Marie]

You're basically asking why does God let bad things happen in the world.  There's no short answer to that question.  I've yet to find a really good one, either. 

[Guest]

I get the bad things happen because of freewill. I accept that. I don't understand it but it is what it is. Although a kid having cancer makes no sense to me. Or anyone. I don't see how freewill should have anything to do with this. God not existing makes more sense then God existing and a kid having cancer. Unless God is evil. Which I don't subscribe to. I believe if God exist God is love and is good and wants the best for people. I mean God could just wipe us out right now if God wanted or do whatever esle that isn't comprehendable by the mind. Although the question I meant to mainly ask in this thread was how there can be millions of gays and it be accepted they are born that way yet God still hates it and didn't want it that way. That's why it always made more sense to me that the person made a choice at some point of their life to become gay and "give in" or however you want to put it to those urges or whatever they are.

Edited May 20, 2013 by Guest

[cappie]

The Catechism says:

 

CCC 2357: "Homosexuality refers to relations between men or between women who experience an exclusive or predominant sexual attraction toward persons of the same sex. It has taken a great variety of forms through the centuries and in different cultures. Its psychological genesis remains largely unexplained. Basing itself on Sacred Scripture, which presents homosexual acts as acts of grave depravity, tradition has always declared that 'homosexual acts are intrinsically disordered.' They are contrary to the natural law. They close the sexual act to the gift of life. They do not proceed from a genuine affective and sexual complementarity. Under no circumstances can they be approved."

 

CCC 2358: "The number of men and women who have deep-seated homosexual tendencies is not negligible. This inclination, which is objectively disordered, constitutes for most of them a trial. They must be accepted with respect, compassion, and sensitivity. Every sign of unjust discrimination in their regard should be avoided. These persons are called to fulfill God's will in their lives and, if they are Christians, to unite to the sacrifice of the Lord's Cross the difficulties they may encounter from their condition."

 

Having said that I think it's a mystery that in all my years of discussion with people I have not been able, nor have I had a satisfactory explanation to the situation.

 

One thing I do think about that helps me is what Christ answered to those who questioned about why the blind man was blind. They asked Him who sinned, he or his parents that the man was born blind. Jesus answered: "Neither, but for the works of God be made manifest in him." That takes human weakness to an entirely different level now, doesn't it? It speaks of not what God has done to me but how I can live today.

 

One more point: Equating “being gay” with “having sex.” If an unmarried person tells you they’re “straight,” would you assume that they’re having sex? Probably not. Most straight adults are having sex, but not all of them are. The same is true for gay adults. Being gay isn’t like adultery or premarital sex, because being gay isn’t a sex act. Even if someone never has sex, he is still gay. In my opinion

 

[LinaSt.Cecilia2772]

One more point: Equating “being gay” with “having sex.” If an unmarried person tells you they’re “straight,” would you assume that they’re having sex? Probably not. Most straight adults are having sex, but not all of them are. The same is true for gay adults. Being gay isn’t like adultery or premarital sex, because being gay isn’t a sex act. Even if someone never has sex, he is still gay. In my opinion

 

 

Thank you Fr. Cappie for pointing this out. I feel like this needs more emphasis when it comes to this topic because I have a lot of really good friends who are gay, and a lot of them have said that people mistake them for having sex all the time, even though they aren't having sex. It leads to disrespect of that individual just because of a judgment for being gay. 

[franciscanheart]

One more point: Equating “being gay” with “having sex.” If an unmarried person tells you they’re “straight,” would you assume that they’re having sex? Probably not. Most straight adults are having sex, but not all of them are. The same is true for gay adults. Being gay isn’t like adultery or premarital sex, because being gay isn’t a sex act. Even if someone never has sex, he is still gay. In my opinion

Thank you for pointing this out, Father. I feel like a lot of people assume that someone who identifies as gay is living a gay "lifestyle" (of promiscuous sexual behavior with people of the same sex). It makes me so sad. It's not true, but so many act and speak as if that is what people are sharing, rather than their inclination toward intimate connection and attraction with/to the same sex. Edited May 20, 2013 by franciscanheart

[dUSt]

Do people assume those who walk around saying, "I have jungle fever" are having sex? Maybe, maybe not, but what business of it is mine that? Keep it to yourself.

[franciscanheart]

Do people assume those who walk around saying, "I have jungle fever" are having sex? Maybe, maybe not, but what business of it is mine that? Keep it to yourself.

:huh: Genuinely confused by this. Call me dense if needed, but will you explain what you mean?

[homeschoolmom]

I have yet to hear anyone announce that they have jungle fever. :huh: But... I *think* I get your point... maybe.

[CrossCuT]

Maybe he doesnt want people telling him they are gay.

At least that was my interpretation 

:paperbag:

Edited May 20, 2013 by CrossCuT

[dUSt]

I am saying that I don't think one's sexual preference should define them. I care as much about someone telling me they prefer black people or asians as I do if they prefer men or women. I don't care. What business is it of mine who you prefer to have sex with? I think anybody who makes it a point to identify themselves as gay to the world needs to rethink how they are defining themselves as a person.

 

I am a Christian. I am a Catholic. I am a father. I am a brother. I am a son. I am a human. 

 

"I am straight" is not even on my list of how I would describe myself, so why should it be for gay people?