Spem in alium Posted May 5, 2013 Share Posted May 5, 2013 I once burnt soup. I have no idea how it happened. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chestertonian Posted May 5, 2013 Share Posted May 5, 2013 A couple hours after I'd finished grilling on my charcoal bbq, I went out to empty the ash that accumulates on the bottom. Decided to use my new shop-vac to accomplish this task. Little did I know that there were some remaining embers and I ended up setting my shop-vac on fire! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gabriela Posted May 5, 2013 Share Posted May 5, 2013 I once burnt soup. I have no idea how it happened. You totally lose this contest. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spem in alium Posted May 5, 2013 Share Posted May 5, 2013 You totally lose this contest. I know. :paperbag: :doh: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gabriela Posted May 5, 2013 Share Posted May 5, 2013 (edited) I have too many stories to tell them all. I once worked in a restaurant kitchen in Israel. We flambéd stuff. So I'm standing on one side of a two-sided stove and my sous chef (who hated my guts) is standing on the other. We're talking, talking, talking (mostly him insulting me), and I pour alcohol into a pan of seafood. Right as I reach the lighter over the pan to set the whole thing on fire, jerk-off sous chef reaches over my pan with some aggressive gesture. Set his arm on fire. Burned all his hairs off. Served him right. In the same restaurant, I was chopping green onions (HATED chopping green onions—so stinking slippery!) and the knife slipped (again), but this time it chopped one corner of my left thumb near clean off. (Did you know your thumbs have corners? They do.) It was just hanging there, flapping around, barely holding onto the rest of my thumb. So I scream a little and bleed a lot and the African dishwasher runs out of the kitchen to the espresso machine, serves two clicks of espresso into a cup, and through the service window, grabs my hand and shoves my thumb into the espresso grounds. I am so confused that I can't even ask him what the hell he's doing. I just stare at him. Then he explains in the usual mixture of French, Hebrew, English, and Spanish that we spoke that the caffeine in coffee grounds causes your blood vessels to contract, so stops the bleeding. He should know: He lost his left middle finger to a machete on a coffee plantation in the Ivory Coast. More recently my toaster oven went up in flames because I cooked chicken legs on a flat tray, rather than one with sides. Fat dripped right down the sides and onto the burner element. Then there's every soup I ever made: Award-winning awful. I don't get why I can't make a stinking soup... Every rice dish I ever made was positively wretch-inducing until I learned that, contrary to popular American opinion, you should NOT use a 2:1 ratio of water:rice. You should use a 1.5:1 ration of water:rice. Since then, my rice is fantastic. EDIT: amesome idea for a thread by the way. :-) Very entertaining... Edited May 5, 2013 by curiousing Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BG45 Posted May 5, 2013 Share Posted May 5, 2013 Once last year I managed to badly burn my hand when I began to drop a pizza pan straight out of the oven and grabbed it with my other. By the end of the incident I needed burn cream, had to scrape the (now cool after going out in tears to buy burn cream) pizza off of the melted kitchen laminate. :| Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gabriela Posted May 5, 2013 Share Posted May 5, 2013 Once last year I managed to badly burn my hand when I began to drop a pizza pan straight out of the oven and grabbed it with my other. By the end of the incident I needed burn cream, had to scrape the (now cool after going out in tears to buy burn cream) pizza off of the melted kitchen laminate. :| :console: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spem in alium Posted May 6, 2013 Share Posted May 6, 2013 My mum asked me to make a spinach pie for dinner tonight. We were missing a few essential ingredients, so I improvised :) :evil: Hopefully it will be edible. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheLordsSouljah Posted May 6, 2013 Author Share Posted May 6, 2013 My mum asked me to make a spinach pie for dinner tonight. We were missing a few essential ingredients, so I improvised :) :evil: Hopefully it will be edible. Poison. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spem in alium Posted May 6, 2013 Share Posted May 6, 2013 Poison. Souljah, you know me too well. ;) Should make some adjustments: My mum asked me to make a spinach pie for dinner tonight. We were missing a few essential ingredients, so I improvised :) :evil: Hopefully it will be edible. It will be the last thing they will eat. MUAHAHAHAHA. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheLordsSouljah Posted May 6, 2013 Author Share Posted May 6, 2013 Souljah, you know me too well. ;) Should make some adjustments: Hehe, love you too, darling!! :proud: :P Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BG45 Posted May 6, 2013 Share Posted May 6, 2013 :console: Thanks. :) I now always use two oven mitts, just in case... Funnier story: My oven cooks at a higher temp than it shows, so the first time I followed a recipe, I filled the apartment with smoke and set off the alarm. The second time I cooked it, I put it in for half the time and it was still a bit crispy, but no smoke clouds! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheLordsSouljah Posted May 6, 2013 Author Share Posted May 6, 2013 (edited) My first experience with a grill was a really bad one... we set the mini pizzas on fire. So every time thereafter that mum would not constantly watch to see that nothing was burning, I would repeatedly jump up and down yelling 'MUUUM THEY'RE GONNA BUUUUURN!! THEY'RE GONNA BUUUUURN!! MUUUUUUM!!!' Funnily enough I would say the same thing about the bath overflowing...when it had an inch of water in it... hmm.... Edited May 6, 2013 by TheLordsSouljah Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OnlySunshine Posted May 6, 2013 Share Posted May 6, 2013 I love to cook but I have a tale or two to tell. When I was 10 or 11 years old, I was making toast in the toaster that my parents had received when they were married 13 years prior. I went to unplug the toaster when it was finished and was electrocuted. Apparently, there was still some wire stuck near the prongs that had somehow gotten into the socket. This was back when they wrapped the price tags in wire. Idiots. My fingernails were black and my teeth hurt. That was an awful experience. When I was 14 and in 9th grade (back when it was in jr high), I had played in the marching band at a nearby high school and had a leftover cheeseburger from the concession stand. The next afternoon, I wanted that cheeseburger for lunch. I was staying at my grandparents' house since our house was near flooding. I took the cheeseburger that was wrapped in foil and put it in the microwave. No one had ever told me that you are not supposed to put foil into the microwave. The moment I turned the microwave on, I saw sparks fly and immediately turned it off! I'll never do that again! One time, I was helping my sister make spaghetti and was showing her how to break the noodles in half before putting them in the pot. When she did it, one of the pieces broke off and we couldn't find it. It went under the pan onto the burner and lit on fire. She vowed not to cook spaghetti again. :hehe2: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
let_go_let_God Posted May 6, 2013 Share Posted May 6, 2013 In this thread: You should get C2C to tell his story which looks like that GIF. God bless- LGLG Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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