For Those With Illness/problems

[Indwelling Trinity]

This relates to me personally. I am feeling more called to religious life as of late, but as someone with a mild though visible physical condition and past psychological problems I do wonder what effect my issues will have on how my calling is received.

 

I think it does depend on what illnesses you are referring to. I am aware that certain illnesses can be seen as an impediment to a person living well as a religious. It's certainly possible for people with psychological and physical illnesses to be married and have children, as I've seen it happen, but it does seem essential that they have adequate support and assistance where needed.

 

I hug you all so deeply and dearly my dear friends.... there is always hope. During my many years of religious life, i have seen many sisters who suffered from illness whether it be of a physical,psychological or emotional level who have been accepted into religious communities as beautiful and holy religious.

 

Discerning with communities might take a bit longer so  they really get a sense of you. Let them see who you really are today as a person and not dwell on the past . Show them your beauty and hopefully they will see you with the same eyes as Jesus sees you and that is with eyes of love.. Not all are able too do this but surely some will.

 

God Bless you all.
 

Edited April 26, 2013 by Indwelling Trinity

[krissylou]

IT!!!!!!!!

[nikita92]

BT- I'm kind of confused. We're you in Australia? Bethany is??? Are you concerned that your sons might be bi-polar as well?. Thank you for sharing with us! I now wonder what communities here in the states,have a "custody of the eyes"rule...:/

[Spem in alium]

I hug you all so deeply and dearly my dear friends.... there is always hope. During my many years of religious life, i have seen many sisters who suffered from illness whether it be of a physical,psychological or emotional level who have been accepted into religious communities as beautiful and holy religious.

 

Discerning with communities might take a bit longer so  they really get a sense of you. Let them see who you really are today as a person and not dwell on the past . Show them your beauty and hopefully they will see you with the same eyes as Jesus sees you and that is with eyes of love.. Not all are able too do this but surely some will.

 

God Bless you all.
 

 

Thank you, friend. I do see that it will probably take me longer to discern. I have communicated with a few sisters and none has asked me about my appearance, though I'm sure such questions will crop up eventually.

My having a clear "disability" or difference seems to make it easier for people to assume that I'm trying to run away or escape from life. I've had several people ask me things like: "Are you only interested in religious life because you don't think you'll ever find a boyfriend or husband?" "What are you trying to run away from?" Many people think that a person who is physically different can never be happy with how they look, which is just bollocks.That and the pitying, judgmental reactions some people have had to my discernment can be downright hurtful.

 

Becoming a sister is not an "escape" to me, not at all. It's far from it. And so it's so frustrating when people think that the only reason I can possibly be discerning is because I don't see how anyone would ever want to be with someone who looks like me. 

 

Just my little rant, sorry! :) Keep discerning, friends - even if you have people questioning your motives. In the end, it's about how you feel in your heart. It's about your relationship with Jesus. Listen to what God is saying to you and try to follow His Will with a fullness of spirit. God bless you all!

[FFI Griswold]

Ave Maria!

 

What should people do who have somatic or psychological problems/illness? Can they really become nuns/monks, priest (or even marry, ie. raising kids)?

 

In general, adequate physical health and mental stability is required, but in addition to what has been said, it depends on the specific condition and the specific community. Some communities will be very strict, others will be more open - you may see this in a strictly contemplative community where stability is more necessary, whereas a more active community will be able to provide for certain conditions.

 

There are some who, by the grace of God and following careful procedure, have been able to wean off being dependent on medication and enter religious life successfully.

 

Keep praying, inquire about the details, and implore Our Lady for Her assistance!

 

In the Sacred Hearts of Jesus and Mary,

 

Friar John Paul

[freedomreigns]

Be very careful about discontinuing medication.  I did this before entering at the advice of a spiritual director and under a physician's supervision when I found out that most communities would not accept a person with medication for depression.  I was "okay" until after I entered.  Some of the stress factors in religious life led to my depression resurfacing, and in a terrible way.  

 

Just a word to the wise.  

 

Sometimes part of God's Providence in our lives is our limitations.  This is hard to accept, but if we do accept this with His Grace we will have submitted ourselves to His Will, which is the essence of the path to holiness.  

[inperpetuity]

I actually know someone who got off their medication four years ago under the direction of an exorcist and has been making better progress without it, but her psychological symptoms were of a preternatural origin.

[Sponsa-Christi]

While I appreciate what you are saying, I'm not doing this alone.  I received spiritual direction from the Sisters in my parish and they believe this is the best way for me to live out my vocation as a consecrated person.  Both of them have been around Consecrated Virgins and have worked with them so they know quite a bit about the life.  They are also trained in spiritual direction.

 

I do not feel called to natural marriage even though I love kids and think marriage is beautiful.  I understand there will be challenges -- there will be in any walk of life -- I believe that I'm meant to discern this vocation.  Whether or not I'll be consecrated is up to God and the Bishop.  As far as having good mental health, I have not had a relapse in quite a long time.  I've been on my medication for almost 3 years and it has worked wonders.  I'm doing better than I ever have with making straight "A" grades in school and working on bettering myself and living independently.  Hopefully, this helps anyone understand why I feel called to pursue consecrated life.  God bless.   :)

 

 

MaterMisericodiae,

 

 

I truly was not trying to comment on your personal situation (which I know almost nothing about). My apologies if it looked like I was singling you out. Overall, it really does warm my heart to hear about other young women discerning consecrated virginity.

 

It’s just that in general, I do start to feel concerned when I see conversations where consecrated virginity seems to be presented or understood as an alternative to religious life for those who have challenges which would make it difficult for them to live fruitfully in a religious community. Though I know that this might not be what anyone was actually trying to say here, it’s still sort of a general “vibe” which I was getting from this thread.

 

I think it’s very important for anyone seriously discerning consecrated virginity to understand that actually living out this vocation is much more difficult than it might look like from the perspective of an outside observer. Based on my own experiences, it would seem like a lot of people, including many good and prayerful priests and religious, consciously or unconsciously tend to see consecrated virginity as something like an easier version of religious life. But, this is absolutely not the case!

 

Consecrated virginity might have different challenges than religious life, but the challenges can still be very serious—and I believe even dangerous for those who aren’t prepared for them. (For example…several people on VS have told anecdotes about meeting consecrated virgins and being shocked by how bitter they were. While I’m not saying that bitterness in consecrated virgins is okay or acceptable, I do want to point out that this level bitterness doesn’t usually come completely out of nowhere.)

 

It’s also good to keep in mind that the support that a woman might find when she is first discerning this vocation is very different from the long-term support she’ll need as she lives out the rest of her consecrated life. And unfortunately, even though long-term support is more important than initial encouragement, it’s also much harder to come by.

 

In a lot of ways, I think today’s consecrated virgins need the same kind of pioneering spirit that founders and early members of new religious communities should have.

Someone discerning consecrated virginity needs to be brutally honest with herself and ask: Will I be able to persevere in a life of virginity, fervent prayer, and generous service even if there’s nobody interested in keeping me accountable, or if it seems like nobody cares?; Can I remain confident in my vocation even when good Catholics and people I respect regularly question my motives?; Can I remain cheerful when people within the Church say deeply insensitive things to me?; Can I tolerate always feeling at least slightly out of place for years on end?; How will I react if I get a new bishop or pastor who thinks that I’m “not really consecrated,” or who has never heard of consecrated virginity, or who argues that the Church should not have this vocation in the first place, or who completely ignores me?; Will I still feel called to a spousal relationship with Christ even through long “dry spells” or periods of profound darkness in prayer?

 

I’m not saying all this to discourage anyone, but only to highlight some crucial but often-overlooked concerns that any aspiring consecrated virgin should come to be aware of. 

[freedomreigns]

I do think that the vocation to consecrated virginity would pose its own specific challenges- as any vocation will.  For myself I am more interested in something like a secular institute because of the formation process and on-going mutual support amongst the members to live out the vocation.

 

It is important, however, to let people discern these things in the proper channels if they feel an attraction- through spiritual direction, working it through with the diocese and such.  I stand by my previous assertion that our abilities and limitations are part of God's Providence, and so a person who would not do well with community life, or with the structure of religious life, but senses the Lord calling them to give of themselves fully to Him in a consecrated state should prayerfully discern whether or not another avenue is open to them.  That person may well flourish as a consecrated virgin, or member of a secular institute, or even in private vows.  In a similar way some people would not be fit for consecrated life without the support and structure of a religious community.  We all have different challenges and opportunities.  I guess what I am trying to say is that a person may initially have an attraction to one particular form of life, often the one the are most familiar with, but this does not mean that God may not guide them in a different way.  

[OnlySunshine]

MaterMisericodiae,

 

 

I truly was not trying to comment on your personal situation (which I know almost nothing about). My apologies if it looked like I was singling you out. Overall, it really does warm my heart to hear about other young women discerning consecrated virginity.

 

It’s just that in general, I do start to feel concerned when I see conversations where consecrated virginity seems to be presented or understood as an alternative to religious life for those who have challenges which would make it difficult for them to live fruitfully in a religious community. Though I know that this might not be what anyone was actually trying to say here, it’s still sort of a general “vibe” which I was getting from this thread.

 

I think it’s very important for anyone seriously discerning consecrated virginity to understand that actually living out this vocation is much more difficult than it might look like from the perspective of an outside observer. Based on my own experiences, it would seem like a lot of people, including many good and prayerful priests and religious, consciously or unconsciously tend to see consecrated virginity as something like an easier version of religious life. But, this is absolutely not the case!

 

Consecrated virginity might have different challenges than religious life, but the challenges can still be very serious—and I believe even dangerous for those who aren’t prepared for them. (For example…several people on VS have told anecdotes about meeting consecrated virgins and being shocked by how bitter they were. While I’m not saying that bitterness in consecrated virgins is okay or acceptable, I do want to point out that this level bitterness doesn’t usually come completely out of nowhere.)

 

It’s also good to keep in mind that the support that a woman might find when she is first discerning this vocation is very different from the long-term support she’ll need as she lives out the rest of her consecrated life. And unfortunately, even though long-term support is more important than initial encouragement, it’s also much harder to come by.

 

In a lot of ways, I think today’s consecrated virgins need the same kind of pioneering spirit that founders and early members of new religious communities should have.

Someone discerning consecrated virginity needs to be brutally honest with herself and ask: Will I be able to persevere in a life of virginity, fervent prayer, and generous service even if there’s nobody interested in keeping me accountable, or if it seems like nobody cares?; Can I remain confident in my vocation even when good Catholics and people I respect regularly question my motives?; Can I remain cheerful when people within the Church say deeply insensitive things to me?; Can I tolerate always feeling at least slightly out of place for years on end?; How will I react if I get a new bishop or pastor who thinks that I’m “not really consecrated,” or who has never heard of consecrated virginity, or who argues that the Church should not have this vocation in the first place, or who completely ignores me?; Will I still feel called to a spousal relationship with Christ even through long “dry spells” or periods of profound darkness in prayer?

 

I’m not saying all this to discourage anyone, but only to highlight some crucial but often-overlooked concerns that any aspiring consecrated virgin should come to be aware of. 

 

I think I may have misunderstood you and I apologize.  I am appreciative that you explained it a little better because now I see what you mean.  These are some very real questions I am going to have to ask myself.  I'm still in the process of learning about the vocation.  I haven't been able to meet with my pastor yet and I don't have a spiritual director.  I'm pretty sure that, if I am called to Consecrated Virginity, it won't happen for a few more years at least.  I'm still finishing up school and I'm unemployed so I'm not in a position where I can adequately support myself and I know, for certain, that is necessary.

 

I don't think that the Sisters who recommended that I look into this specific vocation were thinking it was an easier way of life.  They are aware that it poses many challenges and even warned me that it may be very difficult.  However, they can see that I have a very deep attraction to consecrated life in some form.  Whether or not I'll end up in consecrated life is something I'm praying about.  I go through tough times where I'm not sure if this is what God is calling me to and I'm staying open to marriage just in case.  :)