Random Questions About Young Catholics And Marriage

[BG45]

 

It is exhausting. I went on a lot of casual dates for about a year. 

Im glad I did it even though none of them ended up working out and I can tell fun stories about them now! Haha!

 

 

Same class and spec actually! ROFL

 

 

Well that's good :)

 

And LOL, so similar apparently.  So very similar.  Death Knights?

 

 

[CrossCuT]

Discipline Priests  :saint2:

Edited April 24, 2013 by CrossCuT

[BG45]

Discipline Priests  :saint2:

 

Can dish out both the healing and the pain, nice!  :cheers:  (Note:  I don't play WoW, I should not be having this sort of conversation probably.)

[LadyOfSorrows]

It really depends on the relationship and the state of life I suppose...my boyfriend and I were both discerning different vocations before we met. He was in the seminary for six years. We are patient and in no hurry to rush God's will. We have been dating for two years. Although, we often say we're not going to be THAT couple that waits for forever (no crazy dating for 10 years story for us :hehe2: ). Sometimes you have to just make a decision and stick to it to have peace.

[allis-challmers]

I think everyones situation is different. I got engaged after only dating my wife 4 and a half months then had a 14 month engagement.  That worked very well for us.  I knew after 4 months that I was going to marry her and didnt figure that there was any point in prolonging the dating period.  We were lucky we shared a lot of the same values.  We are both Catholics,  had similar ideas on family size,  close to the same ideas on money, and other stuff.  This also helped us to wait till we were married to have sex.  We had a date for our wedding and we knew that we were going to ave sex after that so it was slightly easyer to wait.  NOT that it was easy.  but easyer.  That is why if you know you are going to marry the person.  You have talked and worked out any and all differences.  Why not get married sooner than later You don't have to have kids right away that is why you need to learn NFP during your engagement.  Then there is not really any differnence on the money side to geting married sooner rather than later

[Papist]

Just for the record. I was 40 went I married. My wife was 25 when she was married. Kinda puts a wrinkle into the OP. 

[Adrestia]

Disclaimer:  these are my experiences, I do not claim to speak for any group of people or any region.

 

In my travels, I have observed that people from different parts of the USA tend to marry at different ages.  I grew up on the East Coast where few people got married before their mid-to-late twenties.  When I moved to the South (Georgia), I found more people in their mid-to-late twenties already married.  Many who were still single by age 25 expressed a longing to be married.  Then I moved to Texas.  Down here I've met many couples that got married in their late teens, unheard of on the East Coast, and far more couples are married by the time they turn 25. 

 

I'm in my 30s and I've never been married, but I'm okay with it.  During my mid-twenties (in Georgia), I went through a phase where I felt a strong desire to find my future husband.  The person that I dated during that time turned out to be a horribly dishonest person.  After that debacle, I decided that I'd rather be single forever than go through something like that.  Every time I felt lonely, I thought back to him.  Additionally, several of my friends have gone through divorces.  When I think back to the guys that had wanted to marry me in the past, I can only think of one that I might have worked.  Unfortunately (for me), I was not ready to be in a serious relationship when he was trying to court me.

 

I'm in a relationship now.  The current guy says he wants to marry me, but doesn't want to talk to my dad until he finishes school and accomplishes some other goal.  We'll see how it goes. 

[Slappo]

I don't know that age matters so much as committment. If my wife and I got married after 4 years of dating and a 2 year engagement  rather than 9mo dating and 11mo engagment I don't see how any of the issues we have struggled through together would be any different.

 

The small every day things that can drive me up the wall that I let get to me sometimes would still be there, and I would still have had to find a way to get over myself and love her through them, and the same goes for her. Example:the way I chew food drives her up the wall. The fact that something as simple as my chewing food bothers her drives me up the wall. Should we have waited 3 more years so that we could learn that about each other and decide if my food chewing (or any other small thing, toothpaste, temperature of a bedroom at night, preferred seasoning for food...) is something we should not get married over? That's ridiculous! We had the same family values, pretty similar views on how to spend money, same religious values, all the big important life issues matched up. I trusted her, she trusted me, and we were open and honest with eachother throughout our relationship. I couldn't ask for anything more.

 

We got married, some really big things changed from what we thought. We were open and honest with each other on our thoughts and feelings, and agreed to those changes or met half way. When I say some "big things changed" I mean: our ideals on schooling of children, her wanting to be a SAHM, my career choice, how early we would have kids, where we live etc. No one should go into marriage expecting things to stay the same or even go as planned. God gives us the grace in marriage to stay married. We have to make the decision to follow through, practice virtues, and give up our own desires for those of our spouse or family, and it takes both people making those sacrifices. Sorry, I think I got a litlte preachy.

[allis-challmers]

I don't know that age matters so much as committment. If my wife and I got married after 4 years of dating and a 2 year engagement  rather than 9mo dating and 11mo engagment I don't see how any of the issues we have struggled through together would be any different.

 

The small every day things that can drive me up the wall that I let get to me sometimes would still be there, and I would still have had to find a way to get over myself and love her through them, and the same goes for her. Example:the way I chew food drives her up the wall. The fact that something as simple as my chewing food bothers her drives me up the wall. Should we have waited 3 more years so that we could learn that about each other and decide if my food chewing (or any other small thing, toothpaste, temperature of a bedroom at night, preferred seasoning for food...) is something we should not get married over? That's ridiculous! We had the same family values, pretty similar views on how to spend money, same religious values, all the big important life issues matched up. I trusted her, she trusted me, and we were open and honest with eachother throughout our relationship. I couldn't ask for anything more.

 

We got married, some really big things changed from what we thought. We were open and honest with each other on our thoughts and feelings, and agreed to those changes or met half way. When I say some "big things changed" I mean: our ideals on schooling of children, her wanting to be a SAHM, my career choice, how early we would have kids, where we live etc. No one should go into marriage expecting things to stay the same or even go as planned. God gives us the grace in marriage to stay married. We have to make the decision to follow through, practice virtues, and give up our own desires for those of our spouse or family, and it takes both people making those sacrifices. Sorry, I think I got a litlte preachy.

 

  

 

 

I agree Marriage is different than dating.  Dating is necessary I am not saying that prearranged marriage is a good thing. dating is necessary to  figure out who the other person but you wont know everything about your significant other till you are married for a few years.