Papist Posted April 23, 2013 Share Posted April 23, 2013 (edited) Very good CatherineM. I always get nauseous whenever I hear he's my soulmate yada yada yada. I will add, my wife is not my ultimate fulfillment....Jesus Christ is. Edited April 23, 2013 by Papist Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HisChildForever Posted April 23, 2013 Author Share Posted April 23, 2013 Marriage takes two people who are willing to work together and stay married no matter what. There is no mr. Right. There are no soul mates in the way popular culture thinks. No amount of time before marriage will ever allow you to know everything about a potential spouse. You can have a great marriage in a small apartment, with only one car or no car at all. You can even go to school without incurring student loans. If you have so many family members that a reasonable wedding is impossible, elope. If you can't work through minor issues to marry, how are you ever going to work through major issues after you marry. My boyfriend and I are on the same page with figuring out wedding expenses, so there's no issue. Thanks though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ToJesusMyHeart Posted April 23, 2013 Share Posted April 23, 2013 Marriage takes two people who are willing to work together and stay married no matter what. There is no mr. Right. There are no soul mates in the way popular culture thinks. Very good CatherineM. I always get nauseous whenever I hear he's my soulmate yada yada yada. I will add, my wife is not my ultimate fulfillment....Jesus Christ is. Props to you both. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CrossCuT Posted April 23, 2013 Share Posted April 23, 2013 (edited) I'm 26, going on 27, and still quite single (and not for lack of trying), and honestly? Seeing all these Catholic couples who just find each other and "click" so quickly, make me sometimes wonder if I'm going to be alone for the rest of my days or if there's something wrong with me, that I'm still single. If someone finds who they're meant to be with, then good for them. Most of the people I know, however, who got married early, got divorced after 2-3 kids though (and usually because one or both of them were cheating on the other). I felt the exact same way for 24 years. I never found anyone that liked me. I felt like there was something wrong with me!! But honestly, just always be open to it but content with who you are at the same time. You never know where youll meet someone. I met my boyfriend on an online video game and he wasnt Catholic and we clicked right away. Now, a year later, we both think the other is super rad and he was brought into the Catholic Church this Easter! You never know where you will meet the person or what circumstances you will meet them in, but in the end if you both commit and want whats best, it will all smooth out! Just be open to the possibilities! You might not always meet your match in a place youd expect! Edited April 23, 2013 by CrossCuT Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
arfink Posted April 23, 2013 Share Posted April 23, 2013 I felt the exact same way for 24 years. I never found anyone that liked me. I felt like there was something wrong with me!! But honestly, just always be open to it but content with who you are at the same time. You never know where youll meet someone. I met my boyfriend on an online video game and he wasnt Catholic and we clicked right away. Now, a year later, we both think the other is super rad and he was brought into the Catholic Church this Easter! You never know where you will meet the person or what circumstances you will meet them in, but in the end if you both commit and want whats best, it will all smooth out! Just be open to the possibilities! You might not always meet your match in a place youd expect! Easy for a lady to say. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CrossCuT Posted April 23, 2013 Share Posted April 23, 2013 Which part!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HisChildForever Posted April 23, 2013 Author Share Posted April 23, 2013 Easy for a lady to say. Not necessarily. My first serious relationship was crap, to put it politely, and then I was single for 3 years until I met my prince charming. Plenty of young people, men and women, have a hard time in the dating field. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ImageTrinity Posted April 23, 2013 Share Posted April 23, 2013 We met when I was 18 and my husband was 20 and were married at 22 and 24 respectively. Once we knew that marriage was for us, we got engaged and were married 6 months later. We spent very little on our wedding and have lived frugally in order to start our family (we have a 19 month old and a baby on the way). We have certainly had to make a lot of sacrifices along the way, but I am SO glad we married young. We are maturing together as a spouses and as parents and that is a good thing! That said, I worry about couples who marry young and expect to have it all (the big wedding, honeymoon, a house and babies right away). My husband's parents were buried under debt for a long time with a large family, and that is something we are working very hard to avoid. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
arfink Posted April 23, 2013 Share Posted April 23, 2013 Which part!!! The "just wait, you'll find someone" part. Sure, there are women bold enough to ask a man, but that's incredibly uncommon. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fides' Jack Posted April 23, 2013 Share Posted April 23, 2013 Marriage takes two people who are willing to work together and stay married no matter what. There is no mr. Right. There are no soul mates in the way popular culture thinks. No amount of time before marriage will ever allow you to know everything about a potential spouse. You can have a great marriage in a small apartment, with only one car or no car at all. You can even go to school without incurring student loans. If you have so many family members that a reasonable wedding is impossible, elope. If you can't work through minor issues to marry, how are you ever going to work through major issues after you marry. Very good CatherineM. I always get nauseous whenever I hear he's my soulmate yada yada yada. I will add, my wife is not my ultimate fulfillment....Jesus Christ is. Wow - I didn't think I would find anyone else here who shares my sentiments. The idea of finding "the one" is a bunch of gibberish - at least in the sense of modern thinking. It would follow then that the feeling of "knowing he/she is meant for me" is probably nothing more than infatuation. It all boils down to the beliefs of each person regarding the indissolubility of marriage, and to the virtues of forgiveness, patience, humility, modesty, charity, prudence, etc... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CrossCuT Posted April 23, 2013 Share Posted April 23, 2013 The "just wait, you'll find someone" part. Sure, there are women bold enough to ask a man, but that's incredibly uncommon. Are you waiting for a girl to ask you? If not you should just throw yourself into the dating pool! Thats what I did. I have a ton of amazing terrible date stories! I dont say that to discourage, but it was quite fun, even the bad dates bahahaha!! So I suppose my "just wait for it" advice contradicts this...but I dont really mean WAIT around doing nothing. What I mean by "wait for it" is that you should always be proactive, but be patient!!!! :bananarap: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MissyP89 Posted April 23, 2013 Share Posted April 23, 2013 Are you waiting for a girl to ask you? If not you should just throw yourself into the dating pool! Thats what I did. I have a ton of amazing terrible date stories! I dont say that to discourage, but it was quite fun, even the bad dates bahahaha!! So I suppose my "just wait for it" advice contradicts this...but I dont really mean WAIT around doing nothing. What I mean by "wait for it" is that you should always be proactive, but be patient!!!! :bananarap: With all respect, telling a single person to be patient is really unhelpful. They hear it constantly, and if they're struggling with being alone, it makes them feel even more lonely and bitter. Yes, being single is a good and holy time. But sometimes, getting the same lines from taken people over and over just gets really old. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CatholicsAreKewl Posted April 23, 2013 Share Posted April 23, 2013 Wow - I didn't think I would find anyone else here who shares my sentiments. The idea of finding "the one" is a bunch of gibberish - at least in the sense of modern thinking. It would follow then that the feeling of "knowing he/she is meant for me" is probably nothing more than infatuation. I think this is actually something that's hard-wired into us. Example: Two of my classes (one a communications class, the other related to the psychology of human sexuality) noted that stalking is a good method of flirting. Let me explain myself before I sound insane/off topic. Let's say I meet a girl, let's call her steve, at a coffee shop. I get Steve's number at the end of our exchange. If I want to pursue a relationship with Steve, it's better to "accidentally" run into her at a grocery store I never shop at than to call her 3 days later to hang out. It gives the illusion that the relationship is meant to be. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CrossCuT Posted April 23, 2013 Share Posted April 23, 2013 Wow - I didn't think I would find anyone else here who shares my sentiments. The idea of finding "the one" is a bunch of gibberish - at least in the sense of modern thinking. It would follow then that the feeling of "knowing he/she is meant for me" is probably nothing more than infatuation. It all boils down to the beliefs of each person regarding the indissolubility of marriage, and to the virtues of forgiveness, patience, humility, modesty, charity, prudence, etc... I concur. I dont think we are meant for ONE person...but maybe one TYPE of person. You could easily fall in love with anyone who might be under whatever category of attractiveness is best suited for you. With all respect, telling a single person to be patient is really unhelpful. They hear it constantly, and if they're struggling with being alone, it makes them feel even more lonely and bitter. Yes, being single is a good and holy time. But sometimes, getting the same lines from taken people over and over just gets really old. Maybe its a cliche because a zillion and a half people have gone through it and all prescribe the same thing. But thats not ALL I said btw. I suggested patient with a healthy dose of go do thingz...be proactive. Go to singles events Make an online account on a singles site (Catholic Match?) Try a new activity in a social group! There are tons of things you can do to accommodate multiple variants of busy to "does nothing all day" schedules. I feel like the more desperate a person gets, the harder it will be for them to find someone...Ive been there People can smell desperation on you, so be careful! When I found my boyfriend it was at a point in my life where I had become ok with the fact that I am single. I was proud of who I was, where I was in life, and yadda yadda yadda. When you finally let go of that stress and stop identifying yourself as a flawed single person, then things get better! So I disagree, being patient is great advice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Raz Posted April 23, 2013 Share Posted April 23, 2013 Give up. Forget about it. Do your own thing. And before you know it, you'll find someone. Easier said than done, of course. It's good if you like it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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