The Mind Of A Prodigal..

[BigJon16]

I was thinking about making a thread where I can keep like a public journal for myself, where people can offer insight on my thoughts and prayers, and where they can pray with me and for me, as well as where I can pray for them. I'm not totally sure if that's what the TL is for, so if this isn't right, feel free to stop me. :)
 
 
 
 
So last night and this morning I didn't have time to..erm forgot to..ugh was too lazy to pray before I slept and then make my usually morning offering when I awoke and start my day off with God. I was feeling super guilty.
 
 
As I was walking into school (late, cause I had overslept) I had a moment of reflection on why I felt so bad. God is not some stern old man who demands I pray, and if I don't hates me for it.
 
Rather, God wants me to pray because, well, He wants me. He desires me. He loves me. This stopped me dead in my tracks.
 
As I began to ascend the hill from the student parking lot to my school, I quieted myself and offered a little sigh to heaven. I saw the image of the Crucifix with the writing "I thirst" next to it. That's exactly it, that Jesus thirsts for me.
 
As I talked about this with my SD he recalled how in the Old Testament, it says that God is a jealous God. That God wants us so much that he hates the things that draw us away from Him. He hates my sin, and my laziness. Yet when I turn away from those things, He doesn't hold the hate on me, like a person would, but rather rejoices and embraces.
 
I felt that embrace this morning as I walked up that hill. I remember that feeling of embrace from when I last received the sacrament of reconciliation and am no longer hesitant to go.

 

Reflecting on it now, I remember the words of the father in the story of the Prodigal Son, "let us celebrate with a feast, because this son of mine was dead, and has come to life again; he was lost, and has been found."
 
 

[Tab'le De'Bah-Rye]

I don't like that word jealous, i think it is a miss translation and the word where looking for is zealous or covetedness (unsure thats even aword lol,) but i mean he covets us. But your right in that GOD only desires to Love us and sin seperates us from the fathers love. I have been thinking long and hard often about the precious blood and water which poured forth from jesus wounded heart on the cross as being mercy and justice. If you ever feel the justice of GOD upon you it is only to lead you to repentance and return to his mercy. There is a famous line from one of the psalms that illuminates this, " The lord is my staff and my rod." The justice of GOD always leads us back into his mercy, anything else is from the enemy. What sayeth ye Bigjon. :)

 

Onward christian souls.

JESUS iz LORD.

 

 

[Tab'le De'Bah-Rye]

also i have no doubt in my mind that i am a prodigal son to the umpteenth degree still trying to find his way home. I thought i got home and perhaps i did but seems it is difficult as a prodigal son to remove the memories of the past which can lead me into sin as temporary relief from the horrid memories of the past that i would rather forget, that satan seems to enjoy reminding me of time and time again. Maybe the prodigal son leaves the feast at some point to minister the good son, and encourage him into his fathers celebrations.